Welcome Hurricane Matthew, Just Don’t Wreck The Place

My wife wasn’t very happy with me last night.

Not happy at all.

It all started with her sending me a text asking me to pick some batteries up for our torches in case we lose power – something that seems highly likely.

I forgot.

Then when I went back a swarm of locusts had descended on my local supermarket and cleared the shelves of anything likely to offer a power source.

Then she texted me again and said, ‘we have to move the garden furniture’.

I responded by saying, ‘where to, the middle of the yard so it flies over the fence rather than through the window?

She thought I wasn’t taking the situation seriously enough, and that opinion wasn’t helped when I tweeted:

The woman in front of me has 6 cases of water. She either owns a circus or is expecting Armageddon not a hurricane

The reality is, I am.

When Floridians tell you they have never seen anything like this and the winds are hitting Katrina levels, you take it seriously.

I know perfectly well that we cannot leave furniture lying around outside when there is the possibility of 140 mph winds.

But here’s the deal.

There is zero point in fretting, and a lot of point in having a laugh – presuming that is we don’t accompany that with being reckless.

Laughing reduces stress, improves the immune system and feels a lot better than any negative emotion.

Hurricane Matthew will do what the fuck it wants to do irrespective of what I think about it, we may as well welcome it for all the good it will do.

Mother Nature doesn’t give a damn about me, or you, as the impoverished Haitians have found out to devastating effect over recent years.

So why not make a joke or two and lighten the mood when the only impact is to feel a tad less worried?

Ok, so I am off to move the garden furniture on to next doors driveway and to try and find some batteries.

Wish me luck finding batteries!