Probably the greatest irony of life is that the one thing which is a constant is the one thing we often resist the most.
Even in the couple of seconds you have taken to read this your body had undergone change at a cellular level. We are constantly changing and so is everything and everybody around us. Nothing is static.
Yet as human beings we crave stability and security even though neither exist. The healthiest people get sick, the wealthiest can go bankrupt and the best relationships all come to an end at some stage.
There is an excellent evolutionary reason for your brain to want to maintain the status quo explained by the fact that its number one job is to keep you alive.
Therefore, when you get to the end of the day still breathing your brain considers that a job well done and wants to replicate the patterns that resulted in hitting its main goal.
It’s this in part that explains why some people engage in what seems obvious to others as unhealthy and even dangerous self sabotaging behaviors.
Sure the people in question may very well know at a conscious level their actions are putting them at risk, but their deep unconscious is thinking, “Well we didn’t die last time we went Gator hunting after a case of beer at 3 in the morning, so bring it on!”
I go into some more detail on this in my post ‘Is Change Hard?”
For me to be an effective coach I have to be able to help clients see that change is not their enemy, even when their unconscious mind may be telling them otherwise.
The only way I can do this is to ask questions that will help them think differently. Questions are at the core of great coaching because the right question at the right time can shift a clients mindset and create an entirely new and hopefully more beneficial paradigm.
What Are Good Questions To Ask?
When I’m training other Life Coaches I spend longer on question asking techniques and looking in depth at what makes a great question than on any other single topic.
In my post 7 Killer Life Coach Questions I take a look at a sample of some of my favorite questions in a coaching environment.
There is one change you can make that is relatively easy to implementing if you are committed to making beneficial change, and that’s changing your language.
I’m not talking about feeling the need to be positive all the time. That has been proven to be counter active if taken to extremes because such people then find it incredibly difficult to deal with serious adversity when there is no option to put their happy face on.
Your language, both internally when you chatter away to yourself, and externally when you communicate with others is a direct result of your thoughts. Therefore, if you change you language then by default you start to reverse engineer your thoughts.
There are a number of ways that subtle changes can make profound differences if implemented and the replicated again and again.
One such change is deciding to use language that gives you more choice and thus lowers your stress levels.
All stress is self imposed and all stress can be whittled down to one of two things, or very often both. They are a lack of choice (or sometimes the exact opposite - too much choice) and a lack of autonomy.
Yet so many people adopt language patterns that limit their choice and autonomy without even realizing they are doing it.
In my video ‘How To Feel Better About Yourself’ I take a closer look at which words and phrases are likely to have you inadvertently making you feel more stressed.
You may also be intrigued to know what I mean when I say all stress is self imposed. If that is the case (or even if heaven forbid, you disagree!) then you can also check out my video called ‘What Is A Complex Equivalence?”
Yet another cool way to change using language is to decide to use something that in NLP is called reframing.
It’s also called reappraisal in neuroscience and cognitive restructuring in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and has been scientifically proven to literally rewire the brain when implemented correctly.
Reframing is incredibly powerful because it allows us to take back control of any event that happens to us our lives.
If you want to know how to use this incredibly powerful and relatively easy to implement tool you can check out my post ‘What Is Reframing?’
Or if you are more of the video type you can watch this video that explains the process.
Start Implementing These Tiny Adjustments To Your Language and Thoughts and You'll Start Changing Your Life
However, in case you need more specific help changing something about your life, then just drop me a line by clicking the button below!