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How To Be Miserable

64 comments to How To Be Miserable

  • My favorite: become a martyr.
    Very common with moms. Very effectively leads to misery.

  • Laurie

    LOL! I think other folks should do what I have done and have their crazy in-laws move three houses up the street so you can complain about how they intrude in your life all the time and how your father-in-law walks outside in either his boxers or his unzipped shorts (he doesn’t wear underware under them)!

    Also when someone asks you “how ya doing/” your standard replay should be “ohhh not good at all!”

  • Very funny. Probably way above the heads of all the miserable people out there, regrettably!

  • HAHAHA! Classic stuff, Tim! I’m gonna run right out now and start becoming more miserable. I’ve just been WAY too happy lately! ;)~

  • @ Vered – Yep, that described my mom to a tee!

    @ Laurie – I had my in-laws here for 3 weeks in March. Nice people but there were a few frayed nerves by the end.

    @ Anja – Yep that’s the downside to it.

    @ Aaron – Yeh, snap to it bud, I did detect a little bit too much happiness with your move to the coast. A tip would be to start worrying about Hurricanes. That can help stop them I’m told.

  • LOL. Resist the urge on being upstart and positive! Dang this 8 mins made me moving towards the miserable side.

  • Tim,

    This video not only shows off your amazing charisma and presentation skills, it’s so imformative and draws the viewer in until it’s over before he/she even knows it! Bravo!!

    I love the way you show what we need NOT to do if we want to be happy. Showing how to be miserable is such a wonderfully unique way to get the message of how to be happy with more than a few giggles!

    Thank you!
    Doc KC

  • @ Daniel – Glad to help you on your way to a life time of misery. Remember though, it’s no overnight fix ;-)

    @ Doc KC – Aw shucks, I’m all embarrassed now! Thanks for the kind words.

  • Tim, as ever highly amusing. Loads of great ways to be thoroughly miserable. Not sure i’ll use any myself but very handy to pass onto people who are too happy!!

  • Hey tim, i’m rarely miserable, but once in a while, i’ll use some of your tips!!

  • Thanks for this, Tim. I thought that I was good at being miserable before, but if I use your tips, I really think I can bring it to the next level! :)

    Oops, sorry about the smiley… I guess I do need to work on this more…

  • LOL. Great vid, you made my day :)

  • Ali

    Great stuff and very funny! I agree with Vered that “become a martyr” is an insidious trap: it doesn’t help you, and your kids/aged parents/spouse etc probably wish you wouldn’t too. I love the George Bernard Shaw quote “She lived for others; you could tell the others by their haunted expression.”

  • @ Pete – I know you mate and you’re way too happy. I really think you need to take some of this on board and bring yourself downa bit. Life’s not meant to be fun you know.

    @ ZaggedEdge – Good for you, that’s what I like to hear. Try and implement a few more whenever you get a chance.

    @ Lyman – I almost deleted your comment as spam when I saw that smiley. Don’t make me do that next time bud and I will if you come round here being happy and stuff like that. Don’t you realize that there’s a recession on?

    @Breian – Thanks a lot for taking the trouble to comment

    @ Ali – That GBS knew a thing or two eh? Congrats on your post on Problogger btw, absolutely brilliant advice for any aspiring blogger and I was surprised to see you not recognized at the top of the post.

    Here’s the link for anybody wanting to up the traffic to their own blog.

  • WOW! What an amazing, amusing and authentic video! (I like alliteration – sue me.) BEING GUILTED – definitely. As I’ve stated before, I once heard an “expert psychologist” who was being honored in NYC, speak about how guilt is the ONLY human emotion that ONLY takes and NEVER gives. You want to make me miserable: guilt me into doing something!


  • Tom

    Tim, this is great! Nice use of video……

  • Dave Fowler

    Waaaaaaa Hahahahaha.


    “Well, yeah, I suppose that is funny for you, but you do realise there’s people in hospital that can’t laugh at the moment…

    ….It doesn’t really matter, just bring everybody down”

    Fantastic advice.

    I’ve got to watch it again now.

  • @ Rita – If you don’t send more traffic my way the puppy gets it.

    @ Tom – I seem to think it was you that first mentioned video posts to me! I’m really getting into them now.

    @ Dave – It’s not a laughing matter Dave, and I thought you’d understand that. At least 6 cute kittens perished in the time it took my to type this reply. Think about that whilst you’re laughing your ass off.

  • LOL You really got me howling when you leaned into the camera for a closeup on Be Jealous! It was kind of scary though.

  • Hey, Tim,

    You are a cruel, cruel man. That’s why I keep coming back! Come on over to my “coffee” blog and weigh in. If your automated comments didn’t take up so much of my time responding to – lol – I’d have MORE TIME TO SEND PEOPLE OVER!


  • @ Tom – Be afraid, be very afraid

    @ Rita – I’ll be there, bear with me because I’m having to answer your answer to my answer.

  • Dave Fowler


    I’ve just watched the video again. It was even funnier second time around.

    I’m going to add this to my favourites and play it again the next time I’m being a miserable tool.

    BTW, while I was writing MY reply at least SEVEN cute kittens perished. So there.


  • finfish

    I just couldn’t stop laughing brilliant!!!!!!!!!! Finfish

  • @ finfish – Laughter’s alright, but I think you’re missing the point. If that ever happens again just remember that somewhere in the world a cute puppy dog just got hit by a big truck.

  • Hi Tim,

    Great video – a wonderfully British way of making a point! Looking forward to reading your book now I’m back from holidays!

    Cheers, Dan

  • Holy Christ on a bike that was funny. I’ll do my best to incorporate as many of these tips as soon as possible. Thank you, Tim, for the usual sage advice.

  • @ Dan – Thanks and yeh, I guess it is a VERY British approach.

    @ Naomi – Sage huh? I like that, I like being a giver of sage advice. Who knows, maybe one day I can charge for it?

  • Benjamin

    very very fun and cool. I heard Glenn Beck do something similar about collecting carbon. You guys are great!!!!!!

  • Tim,

    I had to take my daughter back to school today. Hence, I only got a few emails. That’s why I’m writing. So, thanks! I’m so lonely without my daughter that I’ll take even an automated email.

    (Not that I’m trying to guilt you or anything.)


    Hope I helped with “traffic!”

    Rita :-)

  • @ Tim – My autoresponder loves you. It often talks about you and says it would like to meet up for a cup of coffee (unlike me who can’t bloody drink coffee after midnight tonight for 28 days) and a chat, shall I arrange it?

    Thanks for the traffic, that worked wonders.

  • @ Benjamin – Thanks for the comment. Have you got a link for the Glenn Beck thing?

  • Tim,

    I am getting a bit concerned about you: you are answering your own comments. As you know, since you read my blog regularly, I have never tasted coffee. Perhaps you should drink just a wee bit less.

    I hope that I have helped in generating a larger audience for you. I will continue to try to do so, as your blog REALLY deserves it, and I have much respect for you. (Hence, my concern about your coffee consumption and self-responses.)

    If I may suggest one thing to you to increase trafffic flow: Please do NOT threaten poor, innocent puppies!

    One way to increase traffic flow that I personally can offer you: each weekend I write a blog based on a “Reader’s Request.” All you have to do is send an idea to my Comments for a “weekend blog.” Is there something you’d like me to speak/write on? Is there something you would specifically like to know about R.D. (or R.)? Is there a fictional scenario that you would like to create, whereby I finish the story? Just ask! (And be mindful of the fact that every comment from you is moderated – lol.)

    I REALLY am trying to help. I REALLY am concerned about you. Nonetheless, I must now go to my emails. I am quite concerned that I might miss one.

    Please, take care of yourself. Your faithful – and growing – audience is counting on you to maintain both physical and mental health!



  • Benjamin

    Tim, I was traveling around by car and caught him on the talk radio show. Perhaps that will help you get a link to the broadcast.

  • Laurie

    If you get on there you can find out where to listen. Tim, you will LOVE Glen Beck. He might just be more conservative then me. :O Is that possible? I dare you to listen and not explode!!!! It will probably drive you to drinking an alcoholic coffee drink whilst eating a steak being too full or drunk to exercise.

    Go for it! I dare you!!

  • @ Rita – I love you Rita I think we both know that, but the interesting fact is that I have no idea what you’re talking about half the time, and I like that in a fellow blogger! The key with answering yourself is that you are guaranteed to get the responses you really want. It’s a cunning plan. Thanks for the kind works and tons of traffic btw.

    @ Benjamin and Laurie – Hmm, I had a quick check but that sites appears to be cyber sat. It’s all links and no real front end. I get the gist that he’s a Republican talk radio guy, but that really can’t be his home page??

    PS. Just found it, you missed an ‘N’ off.

    Er, yeh….not sure about that ;-)

  • Laurie

    Oh, my I did short ol’ Glenn his “n”. It should have been

    Thanks for noticing. I hope you enjoy Glenn. He is “right” minded (as it should be) ;O)

  • This was truly an awesome video, Tim. I particularly like catastrophize – I think I’ll send that to my wife, as she’s prone to the hyperbolic.

    I think I’m a good way along to being able to be mardy.

  • Tom,

    No problem…and thanks for visiting my blog. Love ya too!


  • @ Laurie – Not tempted, sorry!

    @ Charlie – Stick with the mardiness training, it takes dedication and focus.

    @ Rita – Who the bloody hell’s Tom?

  • Wow, this was nothing short of brilliant.

    Upon (“excruiatingly painful”…to catastrophize…) introspection, I find that I may be perilously close to the “be a martyr” way-to-be-miserable.

    I’d love to hear “other people’s perspectives” on how a mother is NOT to put her child’s happiness first? …and at what age does this no longer become appropriate (since being a mother is a pretty much permanent condition)? My daughter is 26 and I almost always put her happiness above my own…at no small cost, I may tell you. But I don’t regret it or resent it – except in my funkiest moments of self-pity.

    Speaking of which, I have a couple of suggestions that I would add to the list:
    11. Wallow in self-pity (fortunately, I do this only rarely)
    12. Isolate yourself from your community and society in general, as though you were a hermit or in the grip of agoraphobia. (Yeah…another one I’ve been guilty of from time to time…I took the whole ‘cocooning’ trend too much to heart.)

  • Great video, Tim. I like the ’1up people in conversation’ point. This is something I actually used to do myself. I never realized how annoying and selfish it was until I noticed others doing it.

    You’ve got a great blog. I came upon it after reading your ‘post’ of a comment on Writer Dad’s guest post. :-) Eric.

  • Tim you are my new hero. Your posts/videos are pretty insightful and funny. My hats off to you!

  • @ Melissa – IMHO it is only a problem when it effects your own happiness and when you base your own pleasure on your kids alone. Helping them out at any age just fine and good if they want that help and you don’t see it (or them) as defining who you are as a person. Hope that makes sense and of course others may well disagree.

    @ Eric – Thanks a lot I appreciate the feedback. At least you know you used to do it. The really great perpetrators do it an unconscious level with a delicious level of skill ;-)

    @ Lori – Always happy to be a hero! LOL. Glad to have you here and if you let me have your URL I’ll make sure your link works because at the moment it doesn’t. Maybe you typed it in wrong?

  • and what about 9?
    7 ate 9.

    Great stuff!


  • This is great! – especially the part about never being wrong!

  • Damn. Now, I see why I have had difficulty in reaching my misery goal. I forgot #2 and #7…hmmm. I wonder which celebrity I’ll go after.

    Seriously, though. I’m not a Life Coach in the same way as yourself (have other training), but sometimes when I read all the positive blogs to be found out there, I do wonder if it is any longer human to have a “down”-day once in awhile??? I never seem to find posts that expresses that to people…you know, their normalcy.

    By the way. I DO love your stuff, and I got a good laugh from the video. Thank you!!!!

    Pentads last blog post..Celebration in The Rain Forest of Panama

  • @ Pentad – Let me tell you I certainly have down days. In fact I’ve had one today where nothing has gone as I planned and I have hit writers block head on. Such is life and thanks for the feedback!

  • Tim. That made me feel much That makes two of us yesterday, on both accounts. Well…the bright side is that it must mean that yesterday was the ‘day once in awhile’ for both of us, so I guess the rest of the week will be rosy!!! Have a great week!

  • Thanks for this Tim. I have another suggestion re celebrity culture: spend your spare time reading grocery store tabloids about “best and worst celebrity beach bodies” and why Stedman won’t commit to Oprah.

  • You are hilarious. I swear if 75% of the world gave up being miserable the world would be a different place. Thanks for the entertainment.

  • Hey Tim, you muppet! A great “miserable git” rant ;-)

    Your English accent reminds me of an ex-manager who defused most of our gripes about issues and corp politics by referring to the guilty as ” f%$^ing muppets”. Cracked us up no end.

    And seeing as I’m from Norn Iron I gotta say “son, yer just a big eejit!”

    Anyway, well done.
    I’m off to be happy as sin :-)

  • Thanks for commenting everybody and my apologies that I keep missing the comments on some of my older posts like this. I still love you all ;-)

  • hahahaha,i wonder how do u find such videos :))

  • Great tips for those that want to be miserable. Amusing and entertaining article for those looking to be entertained.

  • Tim, my son, what that caricature you presented us with needs is a good dose of Anthony De Mello (link for quote is below):

    Johnny goes to modeling class in his school for special children and he gets his piece of putty and he’s modeling it.

    He takes a little lump of putty and goes to a corner of the room and he’s playing with it.

    The teacher comes up to him and says, “Hi, Johnny.”

    And Johnny says, “Hi.”

    And the teacher says, “What’s that you’ve got in your hand?”

    And Johnny says, “This is a lump of cow dung.”

    The teacher asks, “What are you making out of it?”

    He says, “I’m making a teacher.”

    The teacher thought, “Little Johnny has regressed.” So she calls out to the principal, who was passing by the door at that moment, and says, “Johnny has regressed.”

    So the principal goes up to Johnny and says, “Hi, son.”

    And Johnny says, “Hi.”

    And the principal says, “What do you have in your hand?”

    And he says, “A lump of cow dung.”

    “What are you making out of it?”

    And he says, “A principal.”

    The principal thinks that this is a case for the school psychologist. “Send for the psychologist!”

    The psychologist is a clever guy. He goes up and says, “Hi.”

    And Johnny says, “Hi.”

    And the psychologist says, “I know what you’ve got in your hand.”


    “A lump cow dung.”

    Johnny says, “Right.”

    “And I know what you’re making out of it.”


    “You’re making a psychologist.”

    “Wrong. Not enough cow dung!”
    You can why the church ad enough of him – read his book “Awareness”. Absolutely and spiritually hilarious.

    Mark ‘Miserable Git’ McClures last blog post..Subject: Pre Great Depression 2 Party

  • Being natural is one of the best ways to be miserable, LOL. BTW nice post and Congrats on making it to 9rules.

    Make Money Online Tipss last blog post..Intenet Marketing Business In Indonesia

  • Ahh, great video Tim :D. Truly inspirational.

    If only most people followed these rules, there could be so much misery in our society!

    Hmmm, wait a second…

    Vlad Dolezals last blog post..Co-operate, Don’t Compete

  • Some people enjoy being miserable and angry, otherwise they would pursue happiness harder. We all do what we want…but thank you for the information.

  • hahahahaaha, i wonder where do you get these videos from :) nice post :D

  • I’ve just discovered your Site and I am thrilled. This video is hilarious and true. I love number 3. I find as a woman we have a tendency to put others first all of the time.

    Great job and I look forward to exploring your site.

  • elaine

    Hi Tim, I’m late to the party – just found this today.

    Has anyone told you you bear more than a passing resemblance to Jasper Carrott?