Do you want to be able to look back on your life with a sense of pride and accomplishment?
Do you want to know that you did whatever you think you were put on this earth to do and you never held yourself back through self-doubt or fear?
I’m not suggesting you never felt any fear or didn’t experience any self-doubt, just that you pushed through regardless.
If so, and presuming that’s not currently the case, what do you think is stopping you?
I’ll tell you what it is. You’re not telling the right stories, and your stories are a manifestation of your beliefs.
If you have any desire to make positive changes in your life you have to tell better stories. And not just to other people either, but more importantly, to yourself.
How likely do you think it was for a woman born in Alabama in 1880 to grow up and be able to understand French, German, Greek, and Latin?
To then go to the Radcliffe College (the women’s branch of Harvard University) at a time when few women from her town did anything other than hope to get married and raise kids?
To then write a book that was translated into 25 languages and inspire 2 Oscar winning movies? To meet every President in her life time, be awarded the highest civilian honor of Presidential Medal of Freedom and become a friend of Mark Twain?
That is some accomplishment for a somebody born 40 years before the right to vote was granted to women.
Now imagine how much tougher that would have been if you’d been deaf and blind since the age of 18 months?
Can you even comprehend how difficult it must be to learn to speak when you have no audio feedback? You can’t even see people smiling when you get a word right. What about learning braille in 4 different languages without any verbal feedback from your teacher?
That and a lot more is what Helen Keller achieved.
Helen Keller told herself great stories because she had great and empowering beliefs. She didn’t tell herself it was useless trying to learn to read and speak and she certainly didn’t tell herself she was a victim and that life was unfair.
Here are a few of the stories Helen Keller told herself and fortunately, the world too:
“Life is a daring adventure or nothing”
“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.”
“Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.”
“While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done.”
“Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all – the apathy of human beings.”
“It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.”
We are all telling stories all the time, it’s how we communicate with each other and with ourselves.
When somebody calls me to talk about Life Coaching I hear a story. When I call Virgin Atlantic to tell them they seem to have mislaid the ‘Service’ part of Customer Service and they suck, I’m telling a story. When you tell somebody all the reasons why you can’t start your own business, lose weight, quit smoking etc, you’re telling a story.
I’m not suggesting that these stories aren’t true, they may very well be so, but they’re still stories and they’re only true because we make them so.
Imagine Merlin The Magician sat you down in front of a computer and told you that he could give you the ability to write the story of your life as you would like it to be from now on. What would you write?
Would you compose a rip snorting, page turning, blockbuster of a story that takes your breath away? Or would you copy and paste the same old stuff over from yesterday because it’s easier?
The answer should depend on what you really WANT and not what think you deserve. You may very well be perfectly content and happy with your life and wish to continue on the same path. If that is the case, congratulations, and you have my permission to hit Command ‘C’!
Or you may be one of the millions of people that wants more out of life, but don’t think you can have it. You may be telling yourself a really crap story that says you’re not good enough, not experienced enough, not rich enough, not lucky enough or simply not worthy of being great.
Of course that is entirely your choice. As long as it is a conscious choice that is, and there aren’t just an infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters going berserk in your head trying desperately to knock something interesting out before bucket kicking time arrives.
Life Coaches help people write much better stories and I’m running a special offer for bloggers, solopreneurs and wannabe solopreneurs until the end of May. To know more, which blogging Super Stars I’ve already worked with, and why I’m prepared to put my money where my big mouth is, click here.
BTW, I did an interview with Steve Errey, The Confidence Guy a short while ago. If you want to know my take on confidence you can listen to it here.
Tim Brownson is a Certified Life Coach and has been unsticking people and helping them reach their true potential since 2005. If you would like to know how he can help you
This is a really inspiring post. It really made me think about what my story has been, is, and will be. Thanks for this post!
http://positivelypresent.typepad.com
Positively Presents last blog post..let’s go! 5 steps for getting on the road to your goal
Is there anyone more inspirational than Helen Keller. Maybe equal, but surely not more. Our lives are exactly what we make them, no more and no less. Certainly things will happen that are far beyond our control, but we can always control our responses. Knowing how best to navigate our feelings will help us to write our finest story.
Writer Dads last blog post..Rolling Through the Rough Draft
What’s also interesting is that these stories that we tell ourselves, we can never know if they are “absolutely true” or not. I love using Byron Katie’s “The Work” with clients (and myself) when the “but I know it is true/the way it is” story comes up.
Stories can either hinder us or empower us, we get to choose the story and the result.
Thunderous applause! Tim, Your selection of Helen Keller and your compelling, concise examples were “spot on”.
There is a saying, “adversity will either kill you or make you stronger and build character” and I know it to be true. How we handle life, our state of mind (stories, myths, accepting others’ beliefs without questioning or talking back to self-limiting beliefs)will make or break any one of us. Many like to dismiss this stuff as psycho-babble – it is a profound truth! This truth has helped me to thrive and become a “success” in the world’s eyes – but I think the lack of it destroyed my brother.
Helen Kellers’ ability to overcome adversity is amazing…but IF she had simply “parked” on her “Lot In Life™” would anyone have thought what a tragedy that she didn’t make it? It’s a tragedy when any human potential is wasted. Each and every one of us has a LOT more choice and control to “build” on our Lot in Life™ than we realize.
Ours is a very worthy pursuit!
Twitter @JeanneMale The JobLife Architect
@ PP – You’re welcome
@ Writer Dad – I’m certainly struggling to come up with anybody else. Dave Fowler maybe, but after that I’m scratching my head.
@ Paula – You know I keep meaning to listen to Byron Katie’s stuff because I don’t know anything about her work. I have $75 worth of Amazon vouchers, maybe that is the direction I should go?
@ Jeanne – Wow thunderous applause, thanks. I’m more used to a mild clap, but we’ll not go there. What’s with the trademark on Lot in Life?
Thank you for a powerful and inspiring post! I had the great good fortune of having an elementary school teacher who imparted her admiration of Helen Keller to her pupils. So I grew up knowing her story, and even visited her birthplace as a youngster.
Another hero of mine is Viktor Frankl, who refused to allow Nazi concentration camps steal his soul and self, even though they possessed his body. He didn’t speak in terms of stories, but in terms of the essential attitudes that one has, and the freedom that one has to choose those attitudes under any circumstances.
Again, thank you!
Mike Nicholss last blog post..Surviving the Recession, Part 4: 16 More Things You Can Do to Regain Control
Hi Tim!
I think this is such an important topic. (Incidentally, do you remember that seminar I told you not to attend? This is part of their philosophy–one of the parts I really appreciated.)
I used to tell myself all kinds of stories about my abilities, weaknesses, and options. I’d tell myself I wasn’t good enough or lazy (I still tell myself the latter sometimes, as I’m sure you remember.) Those stories shaped my actions, and as a result, I always confirmed my beliefs. I’d then have a perfect excuse. “See. I failed. Because I’m not good enough. I knew it!”
I don’t really like affirmations because they seem too manufactured to me. I will never look in a mirror and say, “You’re great!” I would probably laugh at myself. But I now work to catch my negative stories and replace them with positive ones.
A little plug for other readers: I am one of the testimonials for bloggers. Tim’s a smart guy–as I’m sure you know–and a great coach. If you don’t hire him you will probably lead a lonely, unfulfilling life and die a tragic death. OK, not really. But you WILL get a lot out of his coaching =)
Lori
Loris last blog post..Is Kindness a Weakness?
There are so many people in this world that have it a lot harder than most of us. We all get in our slumps though and feel bad for ourselves…especially after a hard day at the office. We just need to pick ourselves up and our fellow brothers and sisters of this world and keep moving forward. Tough times never last, but tough people do.
Thanks!
Jake | Revive Your Lifes last blog post..Amazing Waste and Recycling Facts – How Big is YOUR Footprint?
Tim, I’m sitting here this morning with a splitting headache, a very unhappy stomach and the desire to return to bed. I’m feeling very sorry for myself.
For some reason that made me remember how my wife, during each of her four pregnancies, would sometimes feel. She had no choice but to carry on as I went off to work.
I’m going to steal a bit of her story and make something of the day instead.
Nice writing there Tim.
Dave Fowlers last blog post..Dirty Little Secrets
Hi Tim,
Our story does indeed shape the life we lead.
But instead of trying to fashion a new story out of thin air, I think it’s important to see our existing struggles as “scenes” in our story. All successful people go through hardships. Their stories don’t end there. They move past them to achieve greater things.
Haiders last blog post..Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Great points, the only thing standing between you and your dreams are your stories as to why you can’t do it. Lose your stories and change your life.
Cody Dream-Life-Coachings last blog post..Attitude Of Gratitude
Hi Tim,
I love the quote, “Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.”
Self pity is really one of the worst thing we can do to ourselves. Self pitying means that we are transferring all our power to others and this make us powerless and unable to change for the better.
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
Vincents last blog post..50 Ways To Make Yourself Happy
@ Mike – Agreed Mike, ‘Mans Search For Meaning’ is one of the most powerful books I have ever read and a book I would advise everybody to read it.
@ Lori – LOL, that’s MY kind of testimonial, thanks! Maybe you should tell yourself a story that if you looked in the mirror and sad “You’re great!” you would respond with “Damn right I’m great and thanks for pointing it out” ;-)
@ Jake – I like that that. Tough times never last but tough people do. Cool, thanks.
@ Dave – You’ve let me down mate. That’s not very selfish at all is it? Couldn’t you have just gone back to bed?
@ Haider – That’s a good point too which is why I also talked about chapters. I think the crucial turning point for people can be when they realize that what went yesterday doesn’t necessarily dictate what’ll happen tomorrow. Unless of course they ate a Chicken Vindaloo, in which case they can predict fairly accurately.
@ Cody – Yup!
It’s ironic that our greatest limiting factor seems to be ourselves. Now how does that make sense?
I know a young lady with Down’s syndrome who signs for the deaf. She has signed in a arena filled with people, as professional singers preform next to her up on stage. Her name is Lisa Smith and she told her mom one day that she wanted to sign with Sandi Patty and her mom wouldn’t tell her she couldn’t. Lisa is the absolute best signer I have ever seen. She is full of expression and passion. You can google her if you’re interested.
I need the heart of Lisa who doesn’t think about limitations but dreams really big.
@ I like people that dream big.
Off on somewhat of a tangent. I was in a zoo one time and I noticed all the animals names were in braille next to the cages. All well and good catering for blind people, but why would a blind person go to the zoo I was wondering?
I love the quote, “Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.”
Self pity is really one of the worst thing we can do to ourselves. Self pitying means that we are transferring all our power to others and this make us powerless and unable to change for the better.