It can be something you want OR something you have. If you think you already have it, then that more than likely means you’re in alignment with it. If it’s something you want, then that just means you’re not in alignment.

If you want it, then chose it and it sounds like discipline is a value of yours.

HELP!
I’m having great difficulty identifying my values.

I’m reading your book and doing this exercise, but I keep getting stuck.

When you say choose the value that resonates most with you, means something that you want? Or you think you already have?

Like I lack discipline but it does make me want to choose it when i look at it.

And for anti-values, do i choose something that I have or hate to have?

I’m lazy and jealousy and all. I’ve been wanting to get out of those but couldn’t and I was hoping that finding out my values could help me align myself back to the right path because all the self-detest from all the negative aspects really sap my energy.

Thanks!

@ R4i – Cool stuff, glad you took something away.

@ Charley – Two excellent points, thanks bud!

BTW for me, many of what are referred to as anti-values are what people feel when their values – their higher level needs – are not being met.

Coach Charley

I especially like the concept of identifying our anti-values. It’s important to know what is working against us, too.

Alex

@ Ben To be honest I think it’s down to the individual. I personally do it about every 6 months or so, but I don’t see many changes. The odd fluctuation is all.

@ Sid – Agreed and I’m going to go into some detail in the next 2 posts about what you say. It’s tricky to explain via a post but I’ll give it my best shot!

“…if you slip into an analytical mindset you’ll end up with a list of values you think you should have, rather than what you do have.”

As much as I try to be analytical in my approach, I totally agree with you here. I try to be really “unemotional” in setting realistic milestones, making realistic sacrifices to make time for my goals etc – but core values (and anti-values – brilliant!) are just like you said: non-negotiable.

As a side note, I’ve found many of my biggest life changes have come from a shift in declared values. Internally I think we often know what our true values are, but externally I think our actions are sometimes affected by what we believe other people want our values to be. Erasing this disconnect, and acting the way that I know I want to act based on my *true* values brings me back to doing what I love – and makes my life so much richer =)