According to Verbal in ‘The Usual Suspects’ the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn’t exist. Well I beg to differ because if he pulled off that trick successfully then nobody would be able to say it, because by definition they wouldn’t know to say it because they’d think Lucifer didn’t exist and there would be no conversation to begin with.
Send me my trophy because I’m confident that wraps up the award for most confusing start to a post in blogging history. I wrote it and even I don’t know what I’m talking about, so you’ve no chance.
I’m prepared to wager there’s no pointy tailed, trident waving, red head running around pulling satanic tricks as we speak. However, if I’m wrong though and there is, the best that he has come up with to date by some considerable margin is to implant the belief into the minds of hundreds of millions of people that pessimists are realists.
Yes, that’s right, you heard me. The biggest con known to mankind is that pessimists believe they are realists.
About 2 weeks ago I was working with a client that wanted to change careers and start her own business. We were talking about various options and she had an absolutely brilliant reason why each one would fail. I pointed out that I thought she was being a tad pessimistic and I got back the response that I have now heard 13,228 times……this month.
“I’m just trying to be realistic”
Well thank the Lord for realism, where would we be without it? Probably still living in caves with sloping foreheads and wearing furry underwear. I’m ok with the furry underwear bit, but I like the front of my head as it is and I have no wish to give up TiVo.
Every single major breakthrough and invention known to man was considered unrealistic at some stage or other. I can guarantee you that every top scientist, athlete, author, musician, politician, artist, inventor, designer and entrepreneur that ever walked the planet will have been told by somebody that he or she were being unrealistic. Fortunately, these people don’t listen to that kind of comment because they know even though its often well meaning, it’s seldom useful and anyway as I frequently say; realism is for accountants.
Were the people that told Walt Disney he was being unrealistic trying to build the world’s biggest theme park on a swamp, right? No of course not, they were pessimists that got it wrong. Were the people that told the Wright Brothers to get real when they decided to build a flying machine being realistic? Nope, they were wrong as well. What about the people that told Paula Abdul she’d never get a job as a reality show panelist. Unfortunately, they were wrong too, more is the pity.
The people that hide being the badge of realism are also the people that tend to worry the most. They say with one breath they are realists and then spend all day worrying that their kids are going to be abducted, if they don’t clean handles of supermarket trolleys the bubonic plague will get them, that their headache is a tumor and fretting over a flight to Europe in case there is a terrorist attack.
That’s not being realistic, it’s being pessimistic with a dash of neurosis thrown in for good measure.
There is a time and a place for being realistic. As I say to clients when I’m helping them set goals. If you want to win a gold medal at basketball for the Chinese women’s team and you are an American male, then you probably need to be a bit more realistic. If however, you have any other goal that you strongly believe in and your physical attributes will conform to, then go for it, and decide for yourself what is realistic.
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. – Mark Twain
Tim Brownson is a Certified Life Coach and has been unsticking people and helping them reach their true potential since 2005. If you would like to know how he can help you
The reason your argument fails is because you make it sound as though every idea which starts life as being unrealistic eventually takes off. But this isn’t true. The vast majority of unrealistic ideas do not lead to any success and only a small minority do. That is why it is important before any business venture to market test the concept thoroughly before proceeding with it.
@ Steve – You may have read it like that, but that’s a long way from what I meant Steve. I never said products shouldn’t be tested, I just said that every major break-through was considered, at some point in time, to be unrealistic. Fortunately those people didn’t listen to the naysayers.
My point is simply that realism is subjective.
Tim, I am laughing my fanny off. You are absolutely RIGHT!!! Oh it’s SO TRUUUUUE! The Art of Pessimism is to couch it in such a way that it appears to be well intended reality speaking. If anyone counters you, cite hundreds of cases where you think you are right (and situations ended badly). Fail to see the hundreds of cases where things ended well. Catastrophize. TIM YOU ARE HILARIOUS!!!!! Love, love, love, love, love your site, your stuff, your points. You are brilliant. Keep going. Keep speaking, writing, moving, and whatever you do, DO NOT listen to anyone who thinks you should shush. They are just temporarily napping and when they wake up, they will appreciate your sunny REALISTIC voice of reason. You are the silver lining in the cloud… :) Your newest fan, Liza :-) (Leeza)
@ Liza – Thanks a lot for the kind words and taking the trouble to comment, it’s much appreciated! Hope to see you round some more.
Hi Tim – I’m new to your site but it’s already had a positive impact on me during a difficult time.. Thank you.
Hmm… sounds like my dad. :P
-applauds- Good show, good show!
/<3
Hooray! found this (via the “New Here- Try This” link on your site) & it’s just what I want to read today. I’m feeling exhausted from a long talk with someone who has a very negative and despairing view of life – when I mentioned this, the reply was… you guessed it.. “I’m a realist”!
@ Bryan – Thanks a lot and sorry it took me so long to respond. I sometimes miss comments on older posts. Same goes for @ Karanime.
@ Francesca – Glad you found it helpful.
Hilarious! So true!
If you are congruent, you MAY fail. If you are incongruent, you WILL fail.
[...] along, I found a wonderful blog entry on how pessimists are NOT realists, over at A Daring Adventure Life Coaching.Personally, I’m of the opinion that there is no [...]
Ah, pessimists :)
I have long ago found out that there’s no point in arguing with them. In fact, I have actively started spending less time around pessimists and more time around optimistic excited people, to the point where I get surprised whenever I hear a pessimist, because I tend to forget they even exist :p
Vlad Dolezals last blog post..Are You Rationalizing Your Decisions? (guest post at PickTheBrain)
Perhaps when an idea is first formed, no matter how crazay, it somehow sets in motion a process which will see that idea become reality. This idea either develops consciously or subconsciously among the population. Many old sci-fi films have concepts, that at the time, were thought to be far ahead in the future. In StarWars there are the holographic communication systems, in about 10 years time holographic TVs will be mainstream.
I loved this post, I learned about you via twitter, someone twittered another of your posts and I’ve been reading around on your site. (It was the one about falling in a hole.) You’ve got great points here (and ones I also try to make with my own clients.
Henry Ford was doubtless told a billion times that the horseless carriage was unrealistic. We so often limit ourselves before we even really start by saying “gosh, that’s unrealistic.” It can be the cop-out of all cop-outs!
You’re spot-on. Thanks!
Deborahs last blog post..Thought for today
I believe optimists takes risks and pessimists play it safe, a good balance between the too will ensure that we don’t end up blowing ourselves up, but will let us make progress as a race.
That’s a very optimistic view James! But I seriously doubt there is a balance of the two. It is a difficult thing to predict, and I believe that one optimist can blow up 100 pessimists, this is why the world is a dangerous place. If everyone were pessimists, nothing would get done and we would still be in caves afraid to go outside. Risks lead to great discovery, but also destruction (ever heard that destruction breeds creation?).
An interesting point is that the successful entrepreneurs are never pessimists. A spot of pessimism can start a downward spiral both mentally and financially.
It is all down to your own perspective, and you should not listen to or be disheartened by the skepticism of others. If you pursue something that seems impossible, and you slowly begin to realize your goal, you will amaze yourself and your critics.
You should always have some kind of realistic idea as to not end up wasting your time when you could have been doing something more realistic. Call me a pessimist…
Whats considered to be realistic and unrealistic are relative. What you think to be realistic can be considered by others to be unrealistic, so your job is to make your “unrealistic” idea, realistic. Its alright to have your head in the clouds as long as your feet are firmly on the ground.
We should all have a positive outlook in life. It is through our determination that we can actually achieve what they say is impossible and prove them wrong. Thank you for this wonderful article Tim.
Karen