The Power To Influence – Part One

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What is it that separates the great influencers and communicators in our society from the rest?

Why is it that we can spot charisma in another person but find it so hard to define what we mean by that term or to develop it within ourselves?

Indeed, can anybody be taught how to be charismatic and a good influencer?

In answering questions one and two I will hopefully show you that the answer to three is a resounding yes. You have the ability to be seen as a charismatic person that has the ability to influence others in a positive manner should you so wish and presuming you are prepared to do the necessary work

I am going to add a caveat to the above by saying that this needs practice, practice and then some more practice. There are people out there that have elements that come naturally to them but more often than not the really proficient have honed their skills over months and years, as has anybody that is at the top of their game.

I also want to explain what I mean by influencing people or maybe more to the point what I do not mean. I do not mean manipulate (as most people tend to use this word), I do not mean brow beat and I do not mean deceive or mislead to get your own way. Influence in the way I am using the word means to help people appreciate, understand and ultimately concur with your point of view.

The first skill of influence is acquiring the ability to build rapport quickly and easily with all different types of people. It is unlikely that you will positively influence anybody that dislikes or does not trust you hence the reason why it is much more easy to persuade friends and family members to do what we wish than it is total strangers. I will go into this in more detail in Part 2.

The second skill is showing a genuine interest in the other person or people you are communicating with by use of questioning technique, body language and your responses. This overlaps with rapport building and as such I will cover them together in Part 2.

The third stage is the ability to actively listen. When I tell people that listening is a real skill they often don’t understand what I mean. After all everybody listens all the time right? Wrong. Again I will explain in more detail what I mean in a forthcoming Blog and explain why everybody loves a good listener and we all remember superb listeners long after they have left our company.

Next comes questioning ability. Again few people are really good at this, it is a skill that not many people bother to fine tune because hey, how hard can it be to ask a question? The answer to that is not very hard at all really, but asking the right question is another matter all together.

Finally, I will take a look at other things that can help the process of persuasion such as anchoring, advanced language patterns, representational systems and anything else that I can think of that is not covered above and that will help you achieve the win/win outcome you are looking for.

So join me tomorrow for a Life Coach’s guide to getting your own way.