If you sign up for my newsletter in the box at the bottom of this post, one of the four free full length ebooks you will be sent is an in-depth look at goal setting.
There’s a lot of really useful information in there when it comes to the technicalities of goal setting and there’s no up-sell to get the secret sauce that will push you over the top at the end.
If you are a highly motivated and driven person who just wants to understand the structure of setting goals, then grab it for free because it’s pretty much all you need.
Heresy Alert! – Goal Setting Is Easy
Irrespective of what some people in the self development (who amazingly enough often have books, workshops and/or coaching packages to sell you) want you to believe, goal setting, is as we say in the UK, a piece of piss.
So much so that I actually cringed at typing “the technicalities of goal setting” above, it sounds so pompous.
We’re not talking about complex problems such as where did all the anti-matter in the universe go?
What exactly is consciousness and why does it exist?
Or even, when Jesus was quite obviously at least Liberal or more likely a raving Socialist, why are so many right wing Christians appalled at the thought of both?
It’s just goal setting!
If you phoned me and said you wanted to hire me to help you set goals, I’d politely refuse.
As far as I’m concerned you shouldn’t be throwing several hundred dollars at me (or any Life Coach for that matter) to help you do something so basic and easy, just read the damn book and implement the knowledge.
Self Development’s Secret Sauce
On the other hand, if you wanted to hire me to help you hit goals you were struggling with, that’s an entirely different matter altogether and that is where you need the secret sauce.
Before I go on, let me say this.
What I’m about to say isn’t applicable to everybody and I accept that there are a great many reasons why people don’t hit their goals. Some legitimate justifications, some lame excuses.
Not winning a Olympic gold at the 100m because your tore your anterior cruciate ligament the week before is legitimate. Not winning it because you tore through 37 Big Macs the month before and neglected to train, not so much.
However, good reasons and lame excuses to one side, this is still the single biggest reason (or maybe two reasons) people fail with their goals.
You may be new here and as such have not heard me mention the fact that I’m crap at keeping promises to myself, but I am.
- Self-limiting belief? - In some respects
- Inappropriate use of language? – Yeh, you’ve got me on that one
- Poor Life Coaching skills? – Absolutely not
And the reason why it’s not poor Life Coaching skills is this. I have a workaround.
Too many people spend too much time trying to become adequate doing something they are poor at, rather than becoming excellent at something they are good at.
I don’t want to spend hours trying to be ok at keeping promises to myself when I can make myself accountable to other people, gain their support and thus get the results I want without any extra work.
It’s All About Accountability & Support
About 4 or 5 months ago I started the totally free A Daring Adventure Google+ community.
It’s purpose was (and still is) to gather a group of like minded individuals who want to make positive changes in their life without necessarily needing to hire a Life Coach.
I totally get that not everybody can afford to hire me and as such I thought this was a great alternative option.
Almost immediately we had 400 people sign up and many opted for individual 100 day challenges.
Some people committed to meditate for 100 days straight, some chose exercise, to quit caffeine, draw daily, crochet, reframe and a couple of people quit swearing for fucks sake!
The 100 days aspect is because people were looking to form habits rather than just make a change for a short period of time and then slide back to previous patterns of behavior.
The whole 30 days to form a habit that is still regularly trotted out by Life Coaches and self development writers alike is a self development urban myth, and whereas 100 days may not even be enough in certain cases, it certainly has a fighting chance.
My 100 Day Challenge
I opted for 100 days straight mediation and would have achieved it if I didn’t annoyingly forget one day around the half way mark.
That sucked being as I started the damn thing and I had to confess my sins to the group.
But the simple fact is I had developed a routine and I also learned a valuable lesson.
If I had either meditated at the same time every day and/or entered it into my calendar it’s highly unlikely I’d have forgotten.
So I never felt like I’d failed, just made a bit of a mistake that was a great learning experience. One I used when I set up and achieved my next challenge of 100 days without bread or pasta
Not only that, but neither I nor some other people who came up short were ritually humiliated or chastised, we were all supported.
The net result of that unconditional support was people were more inclined to start over again rather than skulk off with their tale between their legs.
You’re Not An Island
I’m never quite sure whether Australia is an island. Technically it ticks the boxes by being surrounded by water, but it’s also a continent and that confuses me.
However, one thing I’m not confused on is you’re not an island. You’re a human being and you are wired up to thrive and flourish with support and encouragement.
Yet so many people when trying to make behavioral changes or achieve goals, think they have to do it all alone. That there is some Universal Law that says if you do it alone it’s more worthy.
I’m not sure about more worthy, but it’s more difficult, more likely to fail and a damn site more stressful.
Trust me on this one. I have worked with clients in really strong relationships and when looking to make changes I have encouraged them to engage their partner to help them.
I do that because it makes success exponentially more likely and thus generates a happy client who thinks I’m a genius ;-)
Unfortunately, everybody isn’t so lucky and many people meet total apathy from those closest to them, or worse still are actively undermined and/or ridiculed for trying to change.
That makes change so much more difficult than it should be.
It’s Free, It Can Help And It’s There For You
The group is closed which means you can chat away to your hearts content without worrying about something you say popping up in a Google search for all the world to see.
I can only presume you are reading this post because you have an interest in improving your life.
Joining this community increases the chance of you succeeding with that wish. Presuming you actually commit and turn up after joining unlike most of the early members.
400 people joined, less than 20 are still posting and it’s the 20 left who are making the changes and who have impressed the crap out of me.
By the way, as I say the group is closed, so when you click on one of the links above just apply to join and I’ll manually add you.
And if you want to know what I’m committing to, then you really will have to join because I’m not posting about it here!