Life Coach Gets It Horribly Wrong

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I know there’s an expression in the film and television industry that says never work with children and animals. Well I intend starting one for the life coaching industry that says ‘never, ever, ever work with family….ever’ Apart from the fact that they’ll not be family members for too much longer because you’ll probably end up killing each other, there is an ethical issue as to whether it is acceptable to work with close family members. It’s always going to be difficult for the coach to work to the clients agenda as he or she will probably start with an idea of what needs ‘fixing’ rather than following due diligence and listening to the client.

My wife had an important presentation to give today and like 99% of the population, me included, she gets anxious about such things. It’s perfectly normal to develop nerves about public speaking; in fact it’s useful. That flight or fight response we develop increases adrenaline and reduces the blood flow to the extremities so that it can be transferred to the brain and vital organs. This in fact heightens our senses and can help with clarity of thought. Obviously, that doesn’t mean that we have to like it, but it’s cool to understand that it’s not all bad.

Anyway, I offered to help and my offer was quite rightly declined. I pushed a bit further because I could see she was stressed and she agreed to let me use a process that I have done many times in the past. I can remove or at the very least alleviate specific fears in 95% of people that come to me and so this wasn’t going to be any different, in my mind.

My first mistake was not stopping to think that my wife is an NLP practitioner and so knows a lot of the stuff that I do. She doesn’t use it in her work like I do, but nevertheless she knows enough to second guess me and remind me of things along the way! We started off with a heavy dose of cynicism on her part and (mind read by me here) a determination to prove to me that I am not some super life coach that only has to wave his magic wand to ‘cure’ his clients. For my part I settled into my chair with a smug ‘aren’t I great’ attitude. What a recipe for success, eh!! I mean c’mon, how could it fail?

I’m not sure if it was a total failure, although I don’t ever remember telling a client to stop being ridiculous and pull themselves together before and I’ve certainly never had a client tell me that I’m talking out my rear end that I could cook my own bloody dinner either, so I’m guessing it could have gone better.

There are lessons to be learned in all of this. Firstly, protocols are set up in any professional field for good reasons and not just because a group of chin strokers wont to feel important and stop people having fun. Secondly, the moment you relax and think you have got something cracked is probably the moment it’s going to bite you in the ass. And finally, my wife was right then and will be right next time she tells me she doesn’t need my help. Mea Culpa ;-)