When I’m working with a life coaching client on values it’s crucial before I try and work out the hierarchy I understand what each values means to them
Even though every word has at least one literal translation in the English language, we also have a tendency, to put our own interpretation on what any particular word means to us.
Freedom is a great example of this. I could say to you “I think freedom is absolutely crucial” and you may nod your head sagely and agree with my undoubtedly wise words.
The only thing is, I may be talking about financial freedom and you may be thinking of freedom to bear arms, or freedom to travel, or freedom of the press, or freedom to worry sheep.
Depending on what’s important to you, you will spin the word to meet your expectations and we’ll only ‘appear’ to be in agreement.
Therefore, it’s crucial to me that I understand what the client means by the word and I don’t starting attaching my own meaning to it and potentially jumping to all sorts of erroneous conclusions.
By simply asking “What does ‘X’ mean to you?” I can get a better feel for what the person means and sometimes it really does catch me off guard and the response is nothing like I expected.
The other day I followed a tweet by Mummyblogger who she asked the question ‘Freedom – what does it mean to you? as an intro into a review of Jonathan Franzen’s latest book called, amazingly enough, Freedom.
As I was reading the post a load of definitions flicked through my mind including the ones above and I wrestled with which one I though really captured the essence of the word.
Then it hit me, none of them did. Every type of freedom is absolutely useless without one fundamental aspect, and it’s the one most of us take for granted and never question.
It’s freedom of thought.
Freedom of thought allowed Victor Frankl to remain free even when locked up in Auschwitz and 3 other Concentration Camps by the Nazi’s. It’s what kept Nelson Mandella free on Robben Island for 27 years and what allowed John McCain to play a round of golf even when he was being tortured by the Viet Cong.
You see the brilliant thing about true freedom, mental freedom, is that nobody can take it away from you.
Sadly though you can give it away, and many people do.
You may be thinking that’s nonsense because everybody thinks what they want to, but that’s not true at all.
You have the ability to think you’re a wonderful person that people like and admire – Do you think it?
You have the ability to think you can have the job of your dreams or start a successful business of your own – Do you think it?
You have the ability to think and believe you can be Rich and Happy and that you can have whatever you want whenever you want it – Do you think it?
People have lost their lives fighting for the freedom to vote, the freedom to be able to speak freely without fear of persecution and a free press. And many millions more have died fighting against tyranny for their personal freedom and that of their compatriots.
Yet all those things mean nothing if you don’t grant yourself the freedom on the inside to use them to your full potential.
Maybe there is no unequivocal answer to the question, what is freedom? But I rather modestly like to think my definition is closer than most. What do you think? Let me know in the comments.
Don’t Panic!
My book on fear, panicking and public speaking is ready to go to my newsletter subscribers next week. If you have a blog and would like an advanced copy, let me know. No expectations, although obviously a review or mention would be great!
Tim Brownson is a Certified Life Coach and has been unsticking people and helping them reach their true potential since 2005. If you would like to know how he can help you
You’re absolutely right! This is a fantastic definition of Freedom. I think this has to be the core of freedom, as you won’t get the freedom to travel, marry, have all financial needs taken care of, or any other definition of freedom someone might give, without this.
Liz recently posted..Joesph-Guest Post
Ahhh, I’m basking in the glow of being told I’m absolutely right. Lovely.
“My book on fear, panicking and public speaking is ready to go to my newsletter subscribers next week. If you have a blog and would like an advanced copy, let me know. No expectations, although obviously a review or mention would be great!”
I’d like a review copy for my new blog please :)
chris at curepanicattacksinfo.net recently posted..Cure Panic Attacks
Sent it Chris.
Cheers Tim,
The advice about brown bears is definitely worth remembering :)
Seriously there is some very useful advice in your book, especially the NLP stuff…
I highly recommend it to anyone suffering from panic attacks
chris at curepanicattacksinfo.net recently posted..Cure Panic Attacks
Amazing how trapped we can be in our head! Loved the reference to Madiba (Nelson Mandela) he is my role model on a lot of fronts.
Yep, you don’t get much bigger than NM!
I can remember the exact moment when I realized that I didn’t HAVE to think a certain way. I was driving home on the interstate, 75 MPH, 2 months-ish after my last relationship crumbled to dung…my mind was going down the same pity path AGAIN and I was about to start bawling…AGAIN..and it hit me. This is only going on in my head. Every person, in every car I passed, had their own little reality going on and they were clearly unaware and uninterested in mine. The only thing bringing me to this pit of wallowing e v e r y day is my thoughts. That was my freedom moment. I get to choose what goes on in my head. With that, I allow myself the occasional brief pity party. But my new favorite mental image is one of me….minus the top of my head (not in a gory way)…but one where my thoughts and ideas aren’t bound. It actually looks like the openning sequence of the Teletubbies with fields and a sun and bunnies and fluffy stuffs in the air – quite nice.
That’s a fantastic story, especially when you realize millions of people go through their entire lives without ever knowing that. Thanks for sharing.
So true, often I thought I’d feel a certain way by the time I achieved X, Y or Z, then I think it was a combination of you and some stuff I was reading at the time that said, “why can’t you feel like that now?” or “why can’t you act like the person you want to be today”
It’s not foolproof, I still get off days, but I’m a lot better at sincerely believing (rather than just empty affirmations) that I can feel confident, happy, successful just about whenever I want.
Powerful stuff.
Harrisonamy recently posted..The 3 step copywriting guide to rubbing it better…
We all ‘get days off’ trust me ;-)
Hi Tim,
I love the examples you provided and am actually in the middle of reading Viktor Frankl’s ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ book. Quite motivational and thought-provoking. I think you have to come to your own realizations about what freedom means to you, but will agree that having your thoughts be truly your own, is a fundamental freedom that everyone has.
Karen recently posted..Just For Today Challenge – 31 Days To A Better You eBook Launch
And to be fair Karen I’m pretty sure Frankly was blessed with some amazing genetics in the first place, but he still had to use them.
Tim, I think the essence of what you are describing is meaning. Well, actually, I know that’s what you are saying. Nothing has meaning until we assign meaning to it. Good things, bad things, that’s all a matter of interpretation and the meaning we assign.
As far as freedom, I see it as two things. The ability to choose, and power over your own life. It’s like this, let’s say you hate your boss, but you love your job. You hate him or her so much that you decide it’s time to quit. What you have just done is given your power away to that person, and narrowed your ability to choose.
You’ve chosen to give power to that person, and in doing so have reduced your possibilities to only one choice. It may not be complete as a definition, but it is how I see it.
Joshua Noerr recently posted..The Big Ass List of 101 Things You Should Not Do
I certainly like what you’re saying Josh and don’t disagree. Am I talking about ‘meaning”? Maybe, when you put it like that, I need to ponder some more.
I am really enjoying your blog. I signed up for it a couple of days ago, so I haven’t had much exposure, but the things that I’ve read are wonderful (following in the theme of the post, I’ll define what I mean by wonderful – clearly written, easy to read, appropriately humourous, relevant). Thanks for a great blog.
Thanks and good to have you here!
If you could now make it your lifes work to tell everybody else about it and insist they sign up and then their families and their friends so on and so forth in a MLM kinda way, that would be great.
No hurry, you can start tomorrow.
Ha! done it already. :) I’ve just started my blog – not nearly as cool as yours, mind you, but a girl has to start somewhere! check it out if you like. :)
Janet recently posted..Perfection
Hey Tim, I’d be happy to do a review of the New E-Book at my blog…
Far too many people around the world are denied freedom of thought, either through an associated denial of freedom of speech, or through religious repression. We should be doing everything we can to support systems that allow people the opportunity to develop freedom of thought and speech.
Mick Morris recently posted..A choice to support a candidate
We certainly should although there’s a lot of things we should do as a Society and don’t.
Tim, I like the big friendly letters in which “Don’t panic” is written. It makes me feel relax and somehow it suggests what’s the answer to the ultimate question of the universe. May have even greater effect if written in a 42px font.
I’ll bear that in mind for next time ;-)
Many years ago, when I was a young adult with her first mortgage, I walked around Tescos on my inaugural grocery shopping expedition to fill my brand new cupboards. I marveled at the range of produce, my ability to buy it and then eat it, in peace. I thought then, that people died to give me this experience, to think what I want to think and say what I have to say and I was going to damn well use and appreciate it.
And I do.
However today, I feel like crap and have this idea that everyone hates me. I usually feel just fine and believe everyone adores me – probably just as much a fantasy but a more pleasant one for sure. Such is my choice.
Alison Golden recently posted..I Feel Crap
We ALL have crap days, it’s just some people try and hide it from the outside world. OTOH, some others can’t wait to tell you how shit their day is!
Not only freedom of thought, also freedom of meaning.
We can all think whatever we want and shape the world to make it fit into whatever box we want.
Then you really start to get a blank canvas to write on.
I think those two are interwoven.