When I first started Life Coaching full time I used to spend a long time prepping my calls.
I’d read my client intake forms, check previous notes if applicable and then spend ages, often getting anxious, trying to come up with cunning Life Coaching questions.
I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say there were times when I probably spent longer prepping than the actual call itself took.
After a year or two of this approach it started to dawn on me from a Life Coaching standpoint it wasn’t at all effective.
I’d find myself guiding the call in the direction I wanted, rather than simply letting it flow in the direction it was meant to go.
Then one day I thought, “Fuck it, this is a waste of time and energy, you know what you’re doing, so just do it”
So I stepped outside my self imposed box and decided that other than reading notes from previous sessions to jog my memory and getting myself in the right mental state, I wasn’t going to prepare for calls.
The net result was I became an exponentially better Life Coach.
All of a sudden I was in the call not just on the call.
I started to trust that the ‘right’ question would come at the right time because I knew what I was doing.
And guess what? They usually did and still do.
Not always of course, but a high percentage of the time and way more than was previously the case.
I’m not saying that preparing is never necessary, of course it is. In fact it’s critical in some circumstances if we want to perform optimally and I did a lot of prep work for a workshop I gave last week.
However, it’s equally if not not more important, to allow your unconscious to take over when you’re underway without thinking it will screw things up unless it’s on a tight leash.
Especially with a profession like Life Coaching that’s inherently more reactive than proactive.
Sometimes I’ve no idea where my client questions come from and I’ll often start sessions clueless to which direction we’re going to head in.
But the difference is I now trust myself and it’s alright that I can’t predict or control the future because that’s not my job.
Even if your job requires that you prepare thoroughly, the important thing is that once you’re underway you start to trust yourself because that is when your best work will come.
You cannot get into the flow state if you’re second guessing yourself.
So the question is, are you trusting yourself enough?