Imagine I called Donald Trump on his personal cell phone. After he answered there would be the initial chitchat as he enquired about my health and how the family were doing. That would probably lead into the usual round of him begging me to go and work for him and my inevitable embarrassment as he wept softly down the phone after I declined.
What if I then told him I’d phoned because I had some great news? Obviously he’d perk up immediately eager to hear what I had to tell him. Eager that is until I delivered this bombshell.
Donald you lucky mother, you’ve won $100,000 in the Nigerian State lottery!
Presuming it was true; do you think he’d be blown away? Do you think he’d be dancing a jig round his mahogany paneled office and gushing about what he was going to spend it on whilst high-fiving Donald Junior and telling Ivanka to cheer up because she could have the boob job after all?
It’s possible I guess, but unlikely. $100,000 to Donald Trump is not a big deal. I’m guessing he could lose more than that down the back of his sofa and not even notice. In short he is wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice.
On the other hand, if I were to offer that amount of money to somebody that was out of work and struggling to meet payments on their credit cards and home the response would be altogether different.
Taking that a stage further. What if I gave the money to somebody living in a country where $20 per week was a good wage? Suddenly he or she would be catapulted into the realms of the super rich and never have to work again should they choose not to.
Like success, there is no real definition to the word rich. No matter which tag you try and attach to it, it will always mean different things to different people. You may look at somebody with a $1m home, 3 cars on the driveway and a boat in the garage and think they’re rich. Donald Trump wouldn’t.
Similarly, happiness is completely subjective.
You may find bliss meditating in silence whereas to others it would be nothing short of torture. You may love to watch cars travel at high speed round and round a track, whereas others prefer to sit and watch a sunrise. You may like to walk on a secluded beach, or eat at a fine restaurant, or throw yourself out of an airplane. Or you may be perfectly happy helping others in whatever forms that may take.
It really doesn’t matter what makes you happy as long as it’s meets your core values and allows you to tap into your flow state.
I spent almost 20 years working in sales. I had good days and I had bad days. It took me a while off climbing the ladder to be close to where I thought I wanted to be. However, it was at that point I realized not only was it leaning against the wrong wall, it wasn’t even my ladder and I was barely clinging onto the bottom rung of success as I defined success.
That was a sobering thought. As I approached forty a time when some peoples thoughts switch to what to do during retirement, I was coming to the conclusion I wasn’t just in the wrong job, I was in the wrong profession too.
At the time I was earning good money. I wasn’t rich as the majority of people in the UK would have defined rich, but I was very comfortable. If I wanted filet mignon for dinner I had it, if I saw a nice Boss suit I liked, I bought it. And if I wanted a 2-week Caribbean cruise, I booked it.
There was something ultimately depressing about working flat out to earn enough money to afford a vacation to recover from working flat out.
In other words, although I wouldn’t say I was miserable I was a long way from being truly happy. I had a wife most guys would kill for, a nice house, new car and more disposable income than most people, yet something was missing.
The above is part of the intro to the up coming book that I am co-authoring with International best selling author John Strelecky called ‘How To Be Rich & Happy’
When John first told me he was writing ‘How To Be Rich & Happy’ I winced at the title because it sounded cheesy and trite to me. It wasn’t something I could ever imagine getting involved in even if I was asked, which incidentally I hadn’t been. I was however asked to read the outline and offer my opinions.
I was blown away and immediately wanted in.
I didn’t expect to like it and I thought it was going to be another get rich quick book that had no substance and no heart and soul. I should have known better. I should have known that John Strelecky doesn’t write stuff like that. In fact his book ‘The Big 5 For Life’ is one of my all time favorite business books. Note: That’s not an affiliate link so go and buy it!
I’ll get more into the book and what it’s all about nearer the publication date some time in the Summer.
In the meantime, I’d really like to know what would have to happen in your life for you to believe you were rich and happy, as those words relate to you.
I’m really keen to hear your opinions in the comment field. I’m hoping we can get a section in the book that includes other people’s descriptions. Although that isn’t a sure thing yet, please do not comment unless you would be happy for us to publish it along with your name and maybe even website URL if you have one. Or if you’d rather, you can e-mail me at tim at A Daring Adventure dot com.
Some of the material around beliefs and values in ‘Know Yourself – Change Yourself’ will be used in ‘How To be Rich and Happy’ Your beliefs and values will dictate what ‘Rich and Happy’ means to you. So if you don’t know them, how can you know what you want at a deeper level?
This is the last week you can buy ‘Know Yourself – Change Yourself’ before it is pulled off the market and locked away forever. You could wait a few months for ‘How To Be Rich and Happy’, or you could kick things off for the better now by getting a grip on your beliefs and values.
As previously for the ridiculous low cost of $9.99 I’m even throwing in a copy of ‘Stress is for Suckers’ a $10 value for free!
Don’t do what one guy who e-mailed me this week did though. He was kind enough to offer some feedback on a post and as a way of saying thanks I sent him an ebook. I got a reply thanking me with this postscript:
“BTW, it speaks volumes that I downloaded your attached ebook back in October, but didn’t read further than the first two pages – silly me”
We’ve all been there, at least I know I have, but let me be honest with you. Like a lot of self-development books, both ‘Know Yourself – Change Yourself and ‘How To Be Rich & Happy” will be worthless if you don’t read them and then put the advice into action. Shocking but true.
There has been a lot of talk in the comment section of the guest post on ‘The Secret’ about taking action. It seems we all know we should do it if we want to be successful, but that knowledge doesn’t ensure we actually do it.
Maybe that is one of the big dividers between those that get what they want in life, and those that don’t?
The willingness to act, rather than just talking or thinking about acting.
Apologies if I’ve been a bit too salesy the last week or two. Normal service will be resumed very soon.
Tim Brownson is a Certified Life Coach and has been unsticking people and helping them reach their true potential since 2005. If you would like to know how he can help you
I AM rich and happy.
I am rich because I am financially comfortable – for now (I do worry the recession might take it away).
I am happy because I have my priorities straight as far as work/life balance goes.
Ever since I started blogging last year I have read tons of self-development blogs. It’s interesting that reading all this self-help material made me realize how happy I really am.
Does it mean I should stop reading this blog? :)
Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..Stay At Home Mom? Protect Yourself Financially
Hmmm… interesting question. Like I’ve said before, being rich is all a matter of perspective:
http://www.marcandangel.com/2008/11/03/10-reasons-you-are-rich/
Being happy is a matter of being with people you love, and doing the things that you love.
I feel rich and happy. ;-)
Marc and Angel Hack Lifes last blog post..What is the Value of an Hour?
It means different things to different people in different times of their life.
In my 20s now, i believe i would be secured if i had around 12 months of savings, doing what i love, have my own place, traveling and enjoying outdoor activities.
Ha! Vered stole my answer! We’ve had a few setbacks this year, but I’ve not had to worry about how to feed, clothe and shelter my children. So, I guess I could have more money, but I’m rich enough. Thinking about it for a moment, I guess it’s a feeling that we are doing well enough that we aren’t forced to choose money. For example, we were able to choose for me to stay at home with the kids – money, or lack of it, didn’t force the choice. That feels rich to me, when you can choose something else over money.
And I’m fairly happy, too. I guess it’s because I’ve got a good family life and am doing things I enjoy. Sometimes I feel grouchy or insecure, but at the core of me is a happy person. I used to think it was hokey or cheesy to just be basically happy and content. You know, like one must not be thinking hard enough. What changed? I guess I more or less just grew up. In my heart, I believe I always had a very high happiness potential, so it’s pretty easy for me to be happy.
Heh, @Vered, I was thinking the same thing – why are the two of us happy ladies reading so many self-help blogs?! We should be at Karaoke!
Tracys last blog post..Shangri-La Diet Week 2.5
Some mornings I feel neither rich, nor happy. Those mornings are the ones I center my focus on things that others have done to me, or things that are beyond my control.
The times I feel rich and happy are those that I focus on what I have power over, and things that are truly worthwhile to me. You know, those things that will matter in a hundred years. The story of my family, the story of what I gave rather than what I have.
No feeling is constant for me, I have to steer myself to it sometimes, but it is always right here for me to find. Rich and happy will never be about money for me, though it doesn’t scare me to believe I would really enjoy living about 250 yards closer to the beach than I already do. (the difference is only about a million dollars in cost)
I hope you all find your happy and rich! That makes me feel a bit happier and richer to say and truly mean it!
@ Vered – Excellent, I’ll let you know when I get there, because to me, being rich doesn’t mean worrying that a recession will take it away ;-)
@ Marc – Yep, that exactly what I said in the post, it’s definitely subjective. Agreed that if you’re doing what you love with who you love then it’s tough to go wrong!
@ Tom – It’s exactly what it means to you bud, so if that’s what you want, that’s what it is. I also agree that things change as we grow older.
@ Tracy – You grouchy and insecure? I don’t believe it! Obviously as we get into this in the book I think it will become apparent that we’re looking for people to also be content and secure within themselves. If that means being grouchy from time to time, then that’s good enough for me, because I certainly am ;-)
@ Mike – No feeling is constant for anybody mate, that’s life. Rich and happy will never be about money for me either. I’d take $100k linked to inflation for the rest of my life in a heartbeat!
For me, riches comes in two ways:
- Constantly growing and improving
- Contributing to others (that’s why I started a blog)
By the way, I loved the personal development face-off :D
Vlad Dolezals last blog post..IR Goggles
Rich and happy to me is…
Doing something you love.
Wanting to do it even if you didn’t get paid for it.
Not having to worry (or become melancholy) and count pennies for the basics, or every time a small emergency comes up, or a great opportunity to travel arises, or whatever.
Having enough time to devote to all of your passions, including your family, so that you don’t catch yourself saying, “I never have time for that,” or “I’d love to, but I just can’t make it.”
Being surrounded by lots of friends and family, lots of laughs, and great photos of all of it.
I do not have all of this yet, but I plan to!
I am very rich and very happy. What makes me rich? I am loved by a wonderful spouse, two sons and a great God. I am confident and adventurous. I am healthy and mobile. I am happy because I am spending my time doing the things that matter with the people that matter making a difference for both them and me. Being rich and happy has more to do with the quality of life you build and who you build it with. The quality comes more from intangible things rather than purely from tangible things. Being happy comes from inner peace and love and sharing that with others.
@ Tracy: You do NOT want me doing karaoke. Trust me. :)
@ Tim: Sometimes in the midst of worrying I tell myself I’m lucky to have something I could lose. So I’m able to turn the worry into gratitude. SEE? I learned something from you after all.
Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..Stay At Home Mom? Protect Yourself Financially
I totally agree, it’s all relative. Maybe that’s why some people enjoy watching lots of drama shows, since it reminds them how lucky they are to live a relatively drama-free life.
I know I’ve been feeling good ever since I realized it was a choice. Why not choose joy over all the other options? ;)
Nathalie Lussiers last blog post..The Hidden Costs of Cloud Shoveling
To me rich means having enough money to be totally free to devote my time to whatever I feel would make me happy and allow me to spread happiness to others. To me happy means the growth process and journey of getting to that point.
Stephen – Rat Race Traps last blog post..17 Ways to Achieve Heroic Goals
Woohoo Tim! I figured out why I am happy. I dug out my printout of Know Yourself Change Yourself and did the values worksheet. BTW, it was a little complicated but I think I figured it out. So, I have the 8 top values on the sheet and it seems like all the things that I most value are either in my life in abundance, or in the case of “away from” values fairly easy to avoid or I’m learning to deal with them, so I feel mostly like I’ve got a decent handle on things. And even in the case of values that I’d like to have more of, the reasons I can’t (tired from kids, etc) are things I see as temporary and so it doesn’t feel doomish.
So, that’s pretty cool because it makes me feel quite confident that things will continue to get better and I just need a bit of tweaking.
I’ve yet to do the submodality exercise, it should be interesting. I am a little confused about it though – is it like when I remember some bad experiences, I tend to hone in on the eyes of the “villian” of the memory but when I have a happy memory, I see it more like it is in real life?
/end my plug of Know Yourself Change Yourself. You may quote me that it made me feel less doomish in any publicity materials.
Tracys last blog post..Shangri-La Diet Week 2.5
@ Vlad – I like those definitions, a lot!
@ Heather – The first person to say they don’t have it, good for you! At least you know what it is and that is definitely something to work toward.
@ Laurie – There you go. I’m not going to say your an inspiration again because it will only embarrass you ;-)
@ Vered – LOL me and 101 other bloggers. Brilliant that its sticking though. I sometimes think self-development is a process of osmosis. I’d have cd’s on in the car sometimes and realize my concentration had wavered onto the tiresome job of driving the car. But when I re-listened at a later date I would have remembered it all. Weird.
@ Nathalie – I certainly wasn’t choosing joy earlier on when the hound was going mental as I was talking to a client. Mainly though because I wasn’t aware enough to do s because I did have that choice. Well, either that or shoot the dog.
@ Stephen – Glad you said the journey rather than the destination, not that I would have expected otherwise ;-)
@ Tracy – Living in alignment with your values will ALWAYS lead to that feeling.
BTW, do NOT do the submodalities exercise….yet.
What was missing???? Hmmm…. a second puppy obviously. Just think how rich and happy your life is now!!
Being able to give time and money to all types of organizations that need it and then be able to see the positive results. And then do it again and continue to pass that happiness on.
@ Skippy – Yeh right, so maybe I can get 2 more and be doubly rich and happy. Or dead, one of the two!
@ Monica – Cool, I like that idea a lot. Thanks.
Rich is rich, but it, like everything else, will change depending on the circumstances. That’s why Dr. Evil’s plan to extort a million dollars was hilarious. Nevertheless, it is definable and measurable, so you can use it as a goal, and why not? I think it would make more sense to use Rich as a goal than it would to make Happy a goal. Happy is in your heart (which has its own reasons), and the goal is in your head.
The part that messes with some people is when they get an idea of a certain goal in their head and it gets stuck there, set in stone. Even though it might sound like a good goal, like “Lose Weight,” or “Be Happy,” if it’s fixed and stationary in your mind, then it’s like a gravestone, marking where something is dead and buried. The person clings to it like if they ever let go, they’d have nothing else to hold onto. Then again, fear and death are the most reliable of goals to shoot for — how can you lose? Unfortunately, the markers reveal exactly where their deepest memories and fears are buried, which makes them vulnerable. So it would make perfect sense not to take any action or extra risk, because loss is so close at hand to begin with.
But really, asking if a person wants to be Rich and Happy, is like asking a five-year old what they want to be when they grow up — not that teacher, mommy, and ballerina aren’t worthwhile professions, they’re just predictable ones, from the mouths of little kids whose survival depends on basic mimicry. Try asking them what they want to be for Halloween and work from there. “Rich and Happy” is just adult mimic-speak for “I want to fit in, but I’d prefer to fit in where there’s some room to move around.”
@ Carbine – You’ve lost me completely I’m sorry. I’m not sure if you are responding to me (the post) or just using the topic to throw out some thoughts. Not that I mind either, it’s just that I’m not sure how to respond.
I certainly never asked if anybody wanted to be rich and happy because I presume most people do. I agree happy is in your heart and as I get more into this, I’ll also explain why to a large extent imho, rich is too. That is why I wanted peoples own interpretation of what rich and happy means to them.
To a large extent we are exploiting the words, or to my mind and more accurately, we’re taking the words back. There have been so many get rich and even get happy quick books that we are looking to redress the balance with a measured life-long approach. An approach that actually allows people to understand their own needs rather than just setting off after lots of money that seldom makes people happier.
I hope that makes sense and thanks for commenting.
I think I have a problem with the word “rich”. I think it implies monetary wealth to me, which I think I have pretty much concluded at the age of 47, and having made and lost a couple of (modest) fortunes along the way, is not that important.
However, I do think the word “wealth” is much more important and pertinent. There are various types of wealth including monetary wealth, time wealth, environmental wealth and so on. I have found that for me time wealth and environmental wealth (the country and climate you live in) are much more important than monetary wealth.
I thought Felix Denis’s book “How to be Rich” summed it up very well in the closing chapters. (Despite the name it’s actually a pretty nice summary of the balancing act that you need to perform to be “happy”.) In one of the chapters Felix, who is worth around £500 million I think (although he doesn’t actually know how rich he is), relates that his greatest pleasures in life consist of wine, poetry and feeding a stray cat. None of these activities actually requires a great deal of money!
I think one of the great myths out there is that you need money (or to be rich) to be happy. You don’t. You do need to know what makes you happy though and align yourself with that. If you want to be rich, get busy making money. If you want to be happy, do things that make you happy. But don’t confuse the two.
I guess you could argue, what is “happy”? I think people know instinctively when they are happy or not. It’s not something you measure really, it’s a state of mind. Trying to define it can be a bit tricky. As with being “rich”, being “happy” is in some ways a relative state of being. You have to define certain life goals and align yourself with those. For me having the time to pursue activities I love, but which don’t necessarily make money, have been the things that have made my life feel worth living, and as a result, I feel pretty happy – at least there’s nothing much I’d want to change about my life at the moment.
I’ll be very interested to see how the book deals with this whole topic. Can’t wait to read it!
@ Tony – I know what you mean although I like rich sauces and I’ve yet to find cash in them. I had a similar approach before speaking with John and really getting into it. That’s when I realized it meant what I wanted it to mean.
You can equally have time rich, environmentally rich etc as wealthy imho.
I also agree fully about money not ensuring happiness,. That is why we’re going into so much trouble to help people understand what will make them FEEL rich and happy. Everything else is just fluff.
My apologies; I’ll try again:
I’ve learned not to dwell on riches, but to be grateful when my needs are met. It simplifies things in my mind. Whenever I’ve had a lot of money, it was the direct result of something horrible having happened. It causes unbearable guilt for me to imagine that I could have wished myself rich; in fact, I think I’ve gone backwards and wished myself poor! My idea of rich is having an abundance, more than I need. I usually think in terms of what would have the most value, rather than in what I want, and if I make the best of whatever I have, I increase its value.
So, my answer would be: I feel rich whenever I get more value out of something than the cost of acquiring it. And I’m happiest when I’ve added more value back into the world than I’ve taken out.
I am not rich but I am mostly happy. I’m able to pay my bills and take care of my daughter. I don’t have much for extras but I don’t really care about “things” anyway. I guess I would travel more but while I like visiting new places I don’t really like traveling.
I don’t know – this isn’t much of a comment I suppose but I wanted to say hey.
And good luck with the book project.
Kim Woodbridges last blog post..(Anti) Social-Lists 3/29/09
@ Carbine – Thanks for taking the time to explain yourself. Maybe your rich as well as happy when you’re adding value?
@ Kim – Then maybe you are rich, that’s the whole point. It’s not just about the money.
For me happiness is to enjoy my life in a peaceful manner & lead the life calmly. I’d to enjoy with my spouse & live with him lovingly. For me happiness is all these .