It seems to me that fear has become the new black for self development bloggers.
It’s now de rigueur to be running a post listing ways to completely eradicate fear from your life.
Or better still, offering a course that you charge people for to help remove their fear, not forgetting to use fear as a marketing ploy of course.
Ironic huh, that people telling you they can help you remove fear, first want to make your fearful about missing out on their great offer?
Unfortunately, there’s one major drawback with most of the advice I’ve been reading lately.
It’s bullshit!
And I don’t care how many comments I read saying ‘great suggestions’ and ‘this really resonated with me’ or ‘wow that really does work I’m off to stick my dick in a Tigers mouth to prove I have no fear’
It’s still bullshit!
Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but fear is an integral part of your life.
Without any fear whatsoever you’d probably not be reading this post because you’d more than likely be a bit dead.
Fear is a hard wired response, and a very necessary one for your survival. Without it you’d be very poor at driving, crossing roads or being aware in any potentially dangerous situations.
That in and of itself is a good enough reason not to spend your entire life trying to remove fear, but there’s another reason.
Stress is Fear
Think of stress as being fear (because it is).
When you say you’re stressed by this or that, what you really mean is that you’re fearful of the potential consequences of this or that.
Being stressed about not getting a report in on time, means you’re fearful of what you think may happen if you don’t.
So what happens as the deadline approaches is your stress/fear increases until it gets to the point where putting off doing the work creates more stress than actually doing it.
That’s why almost everybody thinks they work better up to deadlines.
Because they do.
The FLOW state of optimal performance isn’t an absence of stress (fear), it’s having just the right amount to help you focus and perform to your highest ability.
However, it’s very easy to go too far over the FLOW bell curve and generate too much fear.
At that stage fear impedes cognitive ability as your heart and respiratory functions move up several notches and your amygdala, the part of your brain that spotted the fear and started the cycle to begin with, starts to take over your pre-frontal cortex.
That’s why when people are really scared they struggle to think clearly or logically and they can often exacerbate their situation.
Your Brain Has Been Hijacked By Your Brain!
They literally cannot gain access to the right part of their brain to make a logical decision as the amygdala and entire limbic system are in overdrive and not prepared to let go.
Advice like, expect good things to happen, change your thoughts, or realize you’re doing the best you can is about as useful as pushing a man out of an aircraft and yelling after him to aim for the mattress factory.
Have you ever seen somebody have a panic attack, or indeed had one yourself?
The person involved often feels like they’re having a heart attack. When I saw my sister have one about 20 years ago, I certainly thought that was the case and it was a very distressing sight.
There are a number of ways you can deal with an impending panic attack to reduce the intensity or even stop it occurring.
However, if you don’t know what they are and I tell you now, that information is next to useless if you’re hit by your first ever panic attack next week.
And the reason the information would be useless is because you wouldn’t be able to recall it.
And the reason you wouldn’t remember it, is because the information would be stored in your short-term memory which would be immediately hijacked by your pumped up amygdala.
Practice, Practice, Practice!
There’s a reason Governments put their military under intense pressure when they’re training them.
It’s so that when they come under attack in real time their responses are automatic and they don’t run around like headless chickens.
If you want to manage your fear better, then that’s cool, but you have to practice doing so.
You have to expose yourself to fearful situations again and again and again and not just read lame blog posts.
That in and of itself sounds scary and doesn’t make for a great blog post headline, but therein lies the dilemma.
You have to expose yourself to fear to control fear.
If that is all to much to bear then I can offer you an alternative method that can help massively.
Visualize Your Worst Fears
If you can visualize what scares you and replay seeing yourself deal with it successfully over and over again in your mind, then you’ll start to build new neural pathways. Then when the real thing does occur you’ll be much better able to handle it.
But that’s the best I can offer you because there are no mantras, affirmations or short cuts to dealing with fear and be suspicious of anybody that tells you otherwise.
By the way, I’ve written a book called Don’t Panic, which is aimed at helping people combat fear, especially social anxiety.
It normally sells for $9.99, but I’ll send a free copy to anybody that leaves a comment telling me they’d like it before the end of play on Tuesday 10th April. (This offer is CLOSED!)
Tim Brownson is a Certified Life Coach and has been unsticking people and helping them reach their true potential since 2005. If you would like to know how he can help you
Tim,
I would love a copy of your book. I need a no nonsense way to get back to living life.
You nearly blew the deal with that Giants logo, but as a Rams fan I’m sure you feel my pain, the book should be with you.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
I have suffered from social anxiety for many years but I’m managing it day by day. I would definately like to give it a read.
You and about 100 million other Americans Lee, it’s a tough thing to avoid. I’ve sent the book.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
The main part of my job is to not panic. I know I do a good job off faking calmness but I would sure like to be able to feel as calm as I seem outwardly. You have helped me quite a lot lately, especially your posts on meditation.
Patrice you may be surprised to learn how few people are as clam on the inside as they seem on the outside. I have been told how relaxed I look giving talks, but trust me I’m not ;-)
Not sure if you wanted the book, but sent it anyway.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Tim,
Thanks for the tip! Understand and will practice =)
I’d like to have a copy of your book – not because it’s free and wanna grab freebies. But I have some kind of “weird” fear.
I always fear talking (or negotiate) with people who are older than me (also someone who is not close enough) . I just don’t know why. Whenever I said I want to talk to these people, I will go to pick up the phone but I fear of pressing the numbers. Just got that kind of weird feeling…
Maybe you can advice me one or two things :) Thanks!
Cheers,
Dennis.
Use anchoring! I can’t even remember if I covered it in the book, but if it’s not there when you get it check out my YouTube channel for a demo.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Thanks bro! Will check it out soon =)
-Dennis.
I’m a long time subscriber to your blog, but admit to never having time to read it- until a few weeks ago when I became involuntarily liberated from my job of 8 years. Some people call what happened to me a “firing” but I stand by the choices I made leading up to it, knowing the consequences when I made them. It wasn’t the most skillful set of decisions I ever made, but I learned something very important from the experience- that fear was ruling my life (why I was still there 5 years after my first impulse to leave). And I decided from that moment on, I was no longer going to let fear be my guide, but love (love for myself, love for others, love for the Universe).
So far, everything is great, and I’m not letting panic seep in, even as I confront new illness without health insurance and next months bills. Still, Don’t Panic seems like it would be affirming reading material at this point in my life. Thanks! I even have a digital reader already.
No problem Rudy and I love your attitude!
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Hiya Tim,
Mate, the two words that always started my panic/anxiety attacks were:
“What if…?”
eg: “What if the car breaks down on this isolated highway?”
“What if I have a heart attack while swimming?”
“What if a crocodile bites the outboard off the back of my boat?”
“What if I don’t have this job finished on time?”
To avoid “What if?” situations, I nearly became a terrified of everything, housebound recluse.
The two words that saved me were:
“So What?!”
“So what if ‘x’ happens. I’ve survived stuff before, and I’ll deal with it when it happens. Prepare, but don’t worry. And if I don’t survive, then I’ve got no worries!”
“So bloody What!”
BUT, I do like your analogy with Army training, and how stress is a fear of some future consequences. Poor thinking habits could land you in the nuthouse quick smart. Or popping ‘Zombie’ pills to stay ‘in control’.
I’ve been panic free for over 15 years now, and occasionally I find the old fears creeping back, and that’s when I go and do something a little dangerous (don’t ask, but it doesn’t involve crocodiles! I’m not a complete idiot… most of the time.)
Cheers mate,
Gb
Is it as stupid as getting hammered on beer and then going with a groups of guys in a rickety old boat Gator hunting at 3.00am?
That’s what they do round here, although I know Crocs are a tad less understanding and more aggressive.
I find my old fears creeping back in at times too, it’s only life ;-)
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
First of all, I love the picture that goes along with this post. Made me chuckle.
I think I might have heard before the stress=fear equation but must have parked it in the deep recesses of my mind. That makes so much sense and when you feel stressed it makes you stop and think.
The army training part resonated with me as well as I have two sons in the army now.
I would also love a copy of the book if that’s okay.
Thanks.
susie recently posted..Enjoy Life’s Detours
I also start talks asking people in the room to raise their hand if they have been stressed in the last 2 weeks. Almost every hand goes up, I then ask how many have been scared and a fraction go up.
I do that, and did that here to help people change their relationship with stress. Being stressed is a badge of pride to some (mainly men), being scared not so much. Books on its way.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Tim,
I’d love a copy. Thanks!
Ok, done.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
I would really appreciate a copy of your ebook on combating panic/fear, and your permission to pass it along to my daughter. Both my grown daughter and I face some similar issues with anxiety and panic attacks and I’m appreciative of anything I can use to help. Your posts have helped me gain perspective on a number of issues, and I look forward to reading this book. Thank you for your thoughtful articles.
Karen
You’re welcome Karen, the book is on its way and of course you can give a copy to your daughter. I’ll send you a copy of How To Be Rich and Happy to give her too.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Hey, Tim
I enjoy reading your newsletters since they are both funny and enlightening. Having a book on social anxiety written by you would be very useful to me both personal and professional.
Thanks!
Simona
Thanks Simona. The books winging its way to you, are you a coach?
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Well first off, of course I’d love a copy of your book, THANKS!
Good point about fear not being easy to eradicate, or even something we’d want to get rid of entirely.
Unfortunately, some of us seem to be wired to be stressbuckets from birth, and have to do more work than others to calm our worrywart brains down. I have to remind myself ALL THE TIME that my worst fears are never realized so there’s no point in going there… and I finally seem to be getting the message. Also, your visualization suggestion is an excellent one! Turning a fearful scenario into a comic one tends to help me–if I picture other people responding in a ridiculously exaggerated way to my imagined fuckups, it helps me realize what a neurotic nutball I’m being in worrying so much about performance situations.
Jan Graham recently posted..Top Funny Websites? Filling The Doctor’s Rx for Laughter as Best Medicine
Ha! That’s very much like an NLP Process called The Fast Phobia Cure and it can indeed work.
I also think you’re right that a lot of it is genetics, although a good proportion is learned behavior. If you have a genetic tendency and then see your parents worrying all the time, that will cement that tendency unfortunately.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
As someone who is on the road to self recovery I would love a copy of your book. I find that my anxiety feeds my depression which feeds my anxiety and it becomes a vicious circle. Luckily I am finding more and more ways to cope and I am turning that circle into a pie and eating away at it bit by bit. I’m really grateful that I found your blog, it is both insightful and helpful.
And it’s on its way Mantha and thanks for the kind words!
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Great post, fear is chosen for sure!!
Would love the book.
LOL, well ok the book is on its way but not sure you grasped the point of the post Gareth, fear is often an automatic hard-wired reaction and not a choice.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Tim,
I love it, especially the no bullshit “no bullshit” approach. One of my Aikido teachers years ago said “don’t do what your fear tells you to do.” Some of the best advice I’ve ever heard, and is often what I tell myself when I notice my fear is mucking up my life (or keeping me from skiing off a cliff).
Samurai, before they went into battle, spent a day meditating on all of the ways they could die. In Tibetan Buddhism, meditations on death are a big deal. If it works for death (including the bloody and gory and painful varieties), I bet it would work for being a little late to a meeting.
I’d love to see the book.
Have a great and fearful day!
Barak
Barak Rosenbloom recently posted..Blog Post Sample
Not sure about spending an entire day meditating on gory ways to die! I wonder if they considered the dick in Tigers mouth approach?
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Lol! I don’t know if they have tigers in Japan.
I think it’s contextual. When I’m downhill trail running at high speed, I visualize missing a turn and slamming into a tree. I find that being unattached to whether I live or die (although I have a clear preference) lets me relax and, therefor, run much more smoothly and, er, safely.
Barak Rosenbloom recently posted..Blog Post Sample
Wow! I think you’re further along the path than I am mate, if I visualized my own death I think I’d be more likely to burst into tears, but I get where you’re going with it.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
lol – I see it’s now linking to my soon-to-be published website. I’m glad it’s rerouting to my “coming soon” page! Great commenting system, by the way.
This sounds a little too simple from the other side. I agree that fear is natural and even healthy (to push us and to protect us). However, there are times when some people become paralyzed by fear that prevents them from moving forward on their goals.
I’m not talking about the social anxiety disorders or the phobias that require a bit of therapeutic intervention. There’s also a set of fears that people experience that aren’t quite that intense but still prevent the individual from moving forward.
Helping them to see this fear for what it is can be incredibly valuable. Giving them tools that can change their mindset can provide a building block for overcoming those fears.
It’s not a perfect system, but we have to start somewhere.
Nicole Bandes recently posted..Who Moved My… Trashcan? – 7 Benefits of Change
It was really a response to the amount of self development writers promising that others can live a life free from all fear. We can’t, nor should we want to.
Of course helping people overcome irrational fears is part of our job if and when that crops up, but this post isn’t really about that.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Hi Man,
nice article! As many of your articles!
I think I suffer a bit from social anxiety but actually don’t know how much and if most of the (rich?) people don’t.
I’d really love to receive your book.
Keep on the good work!
Thx,
Met
I don’t think wealth has much to do with it Met. In any case you have the book so you can work on your own.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Tim,
I’m so glad you addressed this issue. I’m so tired of personal bloggers telling the rest of the world to “be bold” as if you could just do it after a lifetime of training your brain in the opposite direction.
I especially like the way you link stress and fear, and the way you explore this “subtle” aspect of fear.
You advice is well grounded for people who have mild or moderate problems with fear. My view is a bit different though about exposing yourself to fear in the case of post traumatic stress. When trauma is at the heart of your fear, exposure therapy has been shown to often exacerbate the problem. I would like to suggest that safety comes first, then building one’s resources for regulating the nervous system, and only then working with traumatic or frightening material in small doses.
Thanks for your courage to say it like it is.
And yes, I would love a copy of your book.
Sandra / Always Well Within recently posted..The Wisdom of Flowing with Change
Of course I agree and there are always exceptions Sandra and this posts isn’t really aimed at anybody suffering from serious psychiatric disorders
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Hi Man,
nice post! As most of your posts, I think.
I’d love to receive your book.
Keep on the good work!
Thx,
Met
Good rant, Tim. I wouldn’t group panic attacks with common everyday stress or fear. There is a survival mechanism at play, but it tends to run overboard with our modern world. Public speaking doesn’t pose the same threat as a saber tooth tiger even if your brain thinks it might. Visualization is one good way to handle fear. That’s part of the mechanism that makes hypnosis and nlp effective with fears. Meditation is another practice that will strengthen your ability to remain calm under fire.
Good read as always! And, I already have the book :)
I nearly brought up meditation, but thought I’d done it to death recently. And you’re right there are numerous other methods, some of which I talk about in the book.
Hypnosis, submodaltities, anchoring, labeling, fast phobia cure etc can all work to a greater or lesser extent.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Hi Tim,
I’d love a copy of your “Don’t Panic” book to help me quell the night time distress and I have enjoyed other writings of yours which I have read, so I’m sure this one will be good too! Many thanks,
best wishes
Pam.
Meditation will help the night time distress ;-)
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
I’m looking forward to the release of that one too then :0)!
all the best and thanks for the book,
Pam.
I would love a copy of “Don’t panic”
If it’s half as good as your other books, I can’t wait to read it.
Jamie
It probably is about half as good, but I’ll let you judge.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
I am interesting in your book.
Ok, I sent it and I *think* I’ve sent them all out now. If anybody asked for one and hasn’t received it, please let me know.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Tim, great post! I’d love a copy of your book, if you’ve still got them available. Thanks so much for your generous offer! I look forward to every new post of yours, thanks so much for sharing your insight and outlook with us.
Sarah Kolb recently posted..Friday Favorites: Big Picture Edition
You’re welcome Sarah and it’s on its way!
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Your idea of dealing with fear fits with my experience adventuring over the last 25 years. Im interested to know more on how you would practically apply these ideas in the real world.
Give me an example of where you mean Louis.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
I know how I repeadly delt with fear on this 2000km trip. This was just one day of many days where I was scared. Trick is to acknoledge it and then try and reframe. Preparation risk management plan and pre thikng differnt senarios helped with not locking up. Less the pre frontal cortex has to do the more you can deal and keep going. ttp://yakers.co.nz/2010/08/15/day-15/
Did you do any visualization first Louis? My guess is for what you did that would have been very powerful.
For anybody reading this who does know, Louis broke the world record and kite surfed solo for over 2,000km!
He missed the ‘h’ off the beginning of the link, here it is.
http://yakers.co.nz/2010/08/15/day-15/
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Hey Tim, I’m getting better at fear, but I could always use more smart practices. Note I didn’t say “advice” or “inspiration”. I don’t need those, I need something to do at 3am when the fear is smothering my sleep.
At 3.00am when fear hits observe it and be curious about it. Smile at it favorably and note where it is. What does it feel like both emotionally and physically, does it have a texture (woo-woo I know) or a weight? Get as much info as possible and also note that it never stays still because it can’t or is subsides.
Then you could say:
This is not me
This is not mine
I am not this
And allow it to pass on without forcing anything.
Or otoh you could just take a valium ;-)
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
One of my big issues with working at a job has been actually dealing with the people there – the boss, the boss’ boss. What do I call them? What if they get angry at me? How much is too much?
It’s tough. I would love to see if you had any advice in your book.
And as a segue, you linked back to a post (which I think linked back to another one) which was your ultimate goal setting post where you were talking about the SMARTER goal idea – the E being for Ecological which you defined as being how that goal would affect those around you.
And reading that, I realized that that was all tied into how much trouble I’ve been having trouble with goals lately (and I love goals) — I hate affecting other people. If a goal will affect people and I think it might be something that will piss people off… it’s easier to just NOT.
Just writing that, it’s kind of a testimony to how exhausting the whole notion of social anxiety is.
I enjoy your posts!
Not sure about the work thing Liz, it’s been a while since I wrote the book, but I don’t think that’s really covered off.
As for goals, ask yourself how you’ll feel if you don’t do them because of what others may think? The ecology or environment of a goal is not usually a reason not to do it )although it can be), more of a ‘beware!’ element to take into consideration.
It’s nearly always easier not to do something ;-)
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
I really dug your post on Facebook and would love to read your book. Fear holds me and everyone else back from being all we can be, and I am (I think) ready get past them to become more fully ME. Thank you for your generous gift.
No problem Jo and I do think there are people where fear doesn’t necessarily hold them back. Brave people by my definition are those that get scared but do it anyway.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
Is it just me or does fear seem to be at the root of every problem humans and humanity face… ? I would love to read this book Tim. Thanks for this awesome post!
You could well be right because there are so many fears.
Fear of lack
Fear of failure
Fear of being insignificant
Fear of death
Fear of change
Fear of success
And not forgetting fear of fear!
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
But you’re right – we’d be wiped out as a species if it wasn’t a part of our system. That’s the tricky part… the balance between healthy self-protection/preservation and … well, living… with integrity.
“Don’t Panic”… It sounds like a book I need to read. Whenever I get stressed out,I have a sciatica attack which lasts for a minimum of 3 days. If I could get stress and panic under control, I would be able to be more active and spend more quality time with my wife instead of sitting on my butt.
Yes please, I’ll definitely take a copy!
Yeh that sucks Tim. Stress has a brilliant way of attacking our weakest point. I usually get back ache, my wife gets laryngitis and the dogs…..er….well the dogs never seem to get stressed actually.
Weird eh? ;-)
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
I have many fears which wrack my nights with sleeeplessness and nightmares. I would love to read this book, thank you so much for sharing.
NO problem Paula and I think you may get something from my ebook on meditation that I’m hoping to get out in the next couple of weeks.
It’s a freebie that initially will be going to my newsletter subscribers.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
I would love a copy of your book Tim. Thank you
Done!
Tim Brownson recently posted..Fear Removed, Or Your Money Back
I would love a copy of the book please! I have not read any of your books before but I do follow you on twitter,
Steve I sent it, if I’m not following you back say hi and I will!
Tim Brownson recently posted..33 Reasons You’re A Bit Weird, And I Am Too
I’d appreciate a copy.
You’ve got it Mike!
Tim Brownson recently posted..33 Reasons You’re A Bit Weird, And I Am Too
Yes I do use visualisation but its more for learning new skills or prethinking things that can go wrong. On this trip without realising it I was reframing the events ie turning around a bad event by acknowledging it but then asking what can I learn from this and how can I make sure it doesn’t happen again. There is a tendancy in all of us to fear the things that are rare and we can’t control like sharks, but underate the things that are familiar and comfortable. The trick is determine what is real and what is imagined.
I think with reframing and visualization you have 2 of the most powerful tools Louis.
Tim Brownson recently posted..33 Reasons You’re A Bit Weird, And I Am Too
I could really use a copy of your book. Fear is an integral part of my life.
I just sent it John, hope it helps.
Tim Brownson recently posted..33 Reasons You’re A Bit Weird, And I Am Too
Hi Tim,
First timer to your blog and I am grateful that I came across your lessons! I am ready to start tackling my fears and think your book would be a great starting point for me…I would definitely appreciate a copy!
Kindest regards,
David
Glad to have you here David and the book should be already with you.
Tim Brownson recently posted..33 Reasons You’re A Bit Weird, And I Am Too
I’d love a copy of the book. I have a young son that suffers from paralyzing fear. We’ve tried all sorts of counseling to no avail.
Done
Tim Brownson recently posted..33 Reasons You’re A Bit Weird, And I Am Too
I really like the “stress = fear” idea, mate. Very useful and explains a lot. I’m not sure it’s strictly accurate though because stress for me often contains elements of annoyance, aka slight anger, in addition to fear.
Cheers.
A Non Why Mouse recently posted..Daily Fun
Drill down young man, drill down.
I bet you can drill under that anger and find fear.
Trust me I’m a doctor ;-)
Tim Brownson recently posted..33 Reasons You’re A Bit Weird, And I Am Too
My 4.30pm client just bailed on. So if you want that session free of charge, let me know. The rules are you have to be in the US, have something I can help with and be prepared to chat in 20 minutes and counting.
If you want it, go to my Facebook page
http://www.facebook.com/adaringadventure
Tim Brownson recently posted..33 Reasons You’re A Bit Weird, And I Am Too
Tim, you’re right. I am an Aspie so I had to
hammer my fear for even going to the shop. Try deal with all
this fear stuff when 80% of the time you’re clueless about
how people are reacting to you. Gives me incredible daring
as I don’t get it so I dash toward my goal. Yet, in the system, one cannot
just act like that. Some people get hurt feelings and I don’t
like it. So, here’s my fear of walking on egg shells.
I just followed previous post’s owner’s post. I thought
you were supposed to Find your core values, not decide
which ones would you like.
I already have the ebook, was just noticing how Tim answered each and everyone.
On behalf of everyone, Thanks, Tim!!! And add a badge on website for donate, make
it for a charity if you want. Someone who you put time into might wanna come back and pay a dime
WTF is the previous posts owners post?
Tim Brownson recently posted..33 Reasons You’re A Bit Weird, And I Am Too
The guy before me “previous post” posted on his blog
. For reasons only web designers understand the
denomination for “a guy that has a blog” is owner.
so the owner of that blog posted something which read.
he says: vaguely quote here- ” I am a serious person so
I chose fun as a core value to lighten up a bit. good thing my family
is funny. ”
thought i’ll point out to you. maybe i didn’t get it right. the core value
process.
Hi Muppet! I think you were referring to me and my blog post!
I think you’ve slightly misunderstood my post (“Daily Fun”).
I hired Tim as a life coach and he helped me to discover my core values. I found that my top value was Fun. However, recently I became aware that in my average day-to-day life, I can easily lose myself in seriousness. My blog post was really just a reminder that Fun is very important to me, so it’d be a good idea for me to try to build more of it into my daily life.
Really I was just saying that I’m trying to align my life more closely with my underlying values.
You do make a really good point though. I think it’s a bad idea to just pick the values that you think you *should* have in your life. You’ve got to be true to yourself and go with your *real* values. Otherwise you’ll spend your life feeling like a fraud.
Take care… and I’m glad someone does actually read my blog!
A Non Why Mouse recently posted..The Value of Saying Nothing
Hi Tim,
Would love a copy of the book. You never
know what piece of info can help overcome the paralysis
of fear when it strikes.
Thanks
No! I said end of play Tuesday and it’s now Thursday.
Oh go on then, but this really is the last one.
No more book requests, that boat has sailed.
I do give free stuff away though so keep popping back #bribery
Tim Brownson recently posted..33 Reasons You’re A Bit Weird, And I Am Too
It’s not so much letting go of all fear as letting go of unhelpful fear, excess fear that is coming from your past experiences and limiting patterns.
Yes fear is natural and helps us in certain situations, but letting go of the fear that isn’t serving us and isn’t natural is good. And the more we let go of that the better things will get.
-Ben
Ben recently posted..USING YOUR ‘TRIGGERS’ AND WHAT COMES UP IN EVERYDAY LIFE TO ACCELERATE YOUR HEALING AND FREEDOM.
I hear that a lot Ben and whereas I agree in principle, for most people it’s how do they let go of that fear?
Tim Brownson recently posted..Free Life Coaching Just By Asking
Hi Tim,
I’d love a copy of your book.
Thanks,
Mel
Sorry Mel, but you missed the boat by some way. I extended the deadline twice. Gotta be quicker!
Tim Brownson recently posted..Free Life Coaching Just By Asking
Hi Tim,
The way I do it is using Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) starting with the thoughts and emotions coming up around it, then usually you start getting related memories coming up which is where the limiting programming lies. And as you use EFT to let that go and change the memories to something positive the fear lessens.
I know this from experience from past traumas and alot of fear in my life and i’ve got rid of alot of it.
-Ben
Ben recently posted..USING YOUR ‘TRIGGERS’ AND WHAT COMES UP IN EVERYDAY LIFE TO ACCELERATE YOUR HEALING AND FREEDOM.
Gotcha. EFT interests me to the point I actually booked to train in it 3 or 4 years ago before the course got cancelled.
Tim Brownson recently posted..How Do I Change My Attitude?
Hi Tim
We have to move house at the end of April and haven’t found a house to move into yet. I am already panicking so please please please send a copy of the book Don’t Panic urgently! I have a self inflicted honorary PHD in fear and seriously could use the help.
I’m sorry Tania, it would be unfair of me to give you a free copy when I have turned down other people that asked after the deadline.
Millions of people are suffering from fear, that’s why I wrote it.
Tim Brownson recently posted..How Do I Change My Attitude?
I would like a copy of your book. I am in a stressful career and find myself procrastinating, causing panic attacks and poor performance. It’s to the point, I don’t know if I need a career change, therapist, or career counselor.
Sorry, my e-mail didn’t show a deadline, and I just read your above comment.
You mat want to check out my post “Why Me Being A Terrible Politician Is Good News For You”, as I am now giving them all away.
Tim Brownson recently posted..Jumping to New Conclusions