I was sat outside Starbucks last week chatting with two friends, best selling author, John Strelecky and local marketing guy, Thom Scott.
I was telling them about the free coaching offer I recently ran and the brilliant response. I explained I’d had a much quieter January than expected, especially after being so busy in the run up to Thanksgiving and the holiday period. January is usually my busiest month of the year, but this year was very slow indeed. In fact I only took on two new clients and both of them came from referrals from previous clients.
It was weird the way the recent free coaching offer went. To start with I thought it was a cunning marketing plan that allowed me to create a win/win situation with me helping people so they could in turn help me. On reflection I’m not sure I was quite the Mother Theresa I liked to think I was. Yes of course I wanted to help people, but I was asking for something from them in return before I agreed to do so. That’s not really the true spirit of giving.
I reminded myself of those dreadful long letter squeeze pages that claim to be giving stuff away for free, but only if you sign up first. Well if it’s free Robin Hood, why do you require my e-mail address first? If you’re such a benevolent, lovely and no doubt cuddly human being, just let me download whatever it is your giving away first. Of course they seldom do that because your e-mail address has value to them. Thus you’re really paying up front for their half-assed free gift that more often than not is just a way to market a paid product anyway.
As I said before the flood of applicants after my post caught me completely off guard and soon my original plan of picking the blog most likely to help generate new traffic was looking forlorn. I was reading comments and e-mails from people that had a genuine need and surely these are the types of people I went into coaching to help.
How much credibility would I have if I turned them down because they had less to offer back? The answer is ‘very little’ by the way, so you can resist the urge to let me know.
So I widened the criteria and removed the obligation to blog about the experience. That allowed me to choose the 3 people that I thought would benefit the most from the limited information I had to hand.
Literally within two days of advising the 3 people I had decided to team up with I took on another 5 paying clients. That’s right, 5 clients in less than 48 hours after only taking on 2 in the entire month of January!
As I finished telling John and Thom about this I sat back in my chair and said, “Amazing eh, who’d have thought it?” Then in total synchronicity both the other guys responded with “I would” and started laughing. I was momentarily confused as I looked from one to the other and then Thom simply said “reciprocity” and John said, “That’s just how it works Tim”
Really? Is that how it all works? Is it simply a case of the more you give the more you get? I’m honestly not sure, but it sure is nice to think so.
One of my main life goals is to sell so many books and become so well known as the ‘go-to’ guy in life coaching that I can start charging people a fortune. I mean $500 or more per session and maybe even charge retainers to the super-wealthy.
That way I figure I can earn enough money working about 15 hours per week to be able to use the balance of my time to do pro-bono coaching for people that can’t afford it. Yes I want lots and lots of money, and please feel free to send me some if you have any going spare, but I don’t just want money for moneys sakes. It’s a means to and end and not the end itself.
After I’d left John and Thom I was pondering our conversation and thinking about what I really wanted to achieve from a career in Life Coaching. Suddenly I realized I hadn’t just got my head up my own ass, I was actually admiring the view.
I was waiting to receive before I was prepared to give. I’d developed the belief I needed financial stability (whatever that is) before I could do the things I wanted to do.
For the last 2 years I’ve had my number one goal on hold and that no longer acceptable to me. I know I’m not financially in a position to offer 75% pro bono coaching yet, but surely 10% or 20% is better than nothing? At least that’s moving in the right direction and conditioning myself to be doing what I want to do.
The whole reciprocity thing if it exists is just a huge bonus to me. I don’t believe we should give just hoping to receive, but I see nothing wrong with giving and then being open to receiving if. Surely that is the ultimate win/win?
I know lots of people that have been carrying their hopes and dreams with them for years, even decades, without doing anything to bring them to fruition. They genuinely have a belief they’ll get to them one day when everything falls into place, but more often than not, that day never arrives.
What big dreams do you have and what are you really doing to make them happen?
Tim Brownson is a Certified Life Coach and has been unsticking people and helping them reach their true potential since 2005. If you would like to know how he can help you
First things first, CONGRATS on the new clients! My workflow is usually pretty consistent, but I’ve currently got capacity for a couple more blog clients — and I’m starting to realise just how hard the client-hunting process is…
One of my big goals at the moment is to finish the novel I’m working on: I don’t have all the time I’d like to do it (I’d pretty much like to write fiction 75% of the time, just like you’d like to do pro-bono coaching 75% of the time…) BUT I’m spending time on it each day and I’m getting there. Over 35,000 words since Jan 1st, which I’m more than happy with.
My other big dream is to start shifting more of my income towards royalties/passive income instead of per-hour-worked income. One of the things I’m doing towards that is an ebook course. I’ve also sent off a book proposal to a publishing company.
The best time to start go after any goal is generally going to be RIGHT NOW — conditions will never be perfect.
Hi Tim
While I am working towards my ultimate goal creating a social network for young entrepreneurs at http://Under30CEO.com I am struggling picking up side work to keep my long term dream alive.
I’ve done a descent amount of social media consulting, telling people how they can create a solid following online; a group of people who will spread the word about you and really create community around your work. The problem is getting those new clients. The people who understand this stuff already don’t need much consulting because they think they are doing it right and the people who don’t use it, just don’t get it…
Glad to know you were able to get out of your struggle!
@MattWilsontvs last blog post..Developing blogger relationships
Tim,
I am thrilled for your successes in this effort. Fortunately, with the advent of medically approved plexi-glass, you can have a window to accent your view from the cranial rectal inversion in no time at all!!!
My goals are merely fish in my stream of purpose. I too am hoping that offering training to a few select 9th-10th graders and their parents, that I can make a big turn around in their lives.
I would love to introduce them to the educational program that I am working with(improve grades), teach them my self defense program(improve confidence), and get them involved with physical fitness(improve self image). Maybe introduce them to some professionals that can give them some visualization of what is out there if they believe in themselves.
I dont expect a nickel, just the chance to write about the change for these young people, and how it affects their life to have the skills. (from student and parent perspective).
From that goal will be my next business venture. Or maybe not! Im gathering sponsors for the effort, and looking for the possible participants to see if it will fly.
Hi Tim,
I love this post, and not just because I am one of the people you’re going to coach for free. (Thanks again!) I love it because it’s highly self-aware, and I think that’s the best way to help other people improve themselves.
I can relate to everything you wrote. I have to constantly remind myself to give without expectation. For example, my sister needs a lot of support, and I volunteer it all the time because I like being her hero. Then I feel frustrated that she doesn’t offer me the same when I’m struggling. But the reality is I am never alone. She generally doesn’t come to my rescue, but other people who love me do.
As for putting my goals on hold–yeah, I do that, too. I’m looking forward to tackling that one over the next few weeks.
~Lori
“Suddenly I realized I hadn’t just got my head up my own ass, I was actually admiring the view.”
This line is hilarious! I may be out of it but I’ve never heard it before. Of course I can relate to it who can’t!
My goal. To get people not only reading about my blog but caring about it. I don’t care about any income from it. I’ll reevaluate in one year.
I want to know people value what I write and want more before I try to sell anything to anyone. I do have coaching available however it’s not my main focus. I just want to have a well written well read blog.
Congratulations on the new clients! I know you’ll be a great help to them.
I’m still working on a clear vision of what my ultimate dream is. Perhaps this year’s goal is to decide on a goal? I know it’s something involving me writing and being able to work for myself, but what exactly I will write and for whom is still for me to decide.
My dream is a bit on hold right now, because my most important work right now is my children and they are rather time consuming. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, though, raising my children to be happy, productive adults is not only a worthy goal, but it makes me very happy.
Each year, the balance shifts a bit, so I am looking forward to finding a way to integrate all the pieces of my life. I want fulfilling work for myself that also allows me plenty of flexibility to be available for my family.
I do not think it’s coincidence that I find myself being drawn to things like your blog that are encouraging me to start laying a groundwork for my future dreams. I have begun to think about things more systematically and to focus on the intersection of my talents and passions to pinpoint the direction I should take. It’s very encouraging to realize I can “chunk it up” so that it’s doable on a limited time budget.
Big believer in the concept that in order to receive, you must give. Good example here, me thinks.
Goals are a funny thing. A lot of folks preach them, and I wouldn’t argue about their effectiveness, but I’ve never been goal oriented. I know I should be, but it just doesn’t seem to work for me.
I’ll continue to evaluate that and maybe some day I’ll come around.
Cheers
George
I also liked this post (and not because I am also part of free session crowd.) I do this often. I put off stuff until the timing is right. You made a point that sat well with me. It does not have to be your EXACT goal but even a piece at a time would make a difference. For example, I have 25 novels that I have started and then put away for one reason or another. I would love to finish one but I always think I have to focus on it 100% or do not bother. This reminded me that I can do it in pieces. Even if I wrote a page a week I would still have 52 pages by year end; does not sound like much, but it is 52 pages more than nothing! Thanks Tim.
Yay to new clients and to following through on your dreams.
Glad to know as well that the reciprocity model works because that’s what I’m going for too. ;)
As for my dreams and what am I doing? Well, I had a novel started and got blocked, so I’ve picked up a writing course and have been plugging away at that each day (at least thinking if not writing). It’s really helped and I think I’m going to get past the block quite soon.
Oh, and I’m learning patience, in everything. That really helps.
Some of my goals are on hold – learning the didj and congas.
At the moment I’m pursuing my quest to see if I can make a good income by doing what I love (blogging is part of this quest).
So I’m focussing on one goal and not others.
What wonderful experience indeed. That’s awesome. :) Henry Ford it in this manner “To do more for the world than the world does for you – that is success.” I agree.
We are here to make the planet better for everyone, there is no other purpose I see that makes any heartfelt sense. The better you do that, the more all the things you dream of will naturally come to you.
The system behind money is giving value and the most quickest, productive, and effortless way of giving value is through passion expressed. The universe is always expanding and through passion you help it expand.
You also help yourself expand in the process too. You teach others to reach points of empowerment through living your passion (whatever your passion might be), since you are connecting to your emotional output. Passion teaches both sides: the giver (of passion) and the receiver to expand, grow, evolve, etc. Passion is built on purpose and purpose always leads to progress through a series of events.
Here is a list of the steps in how passion teaches both sides (hence, giving/ receiving value in abundance):
1. The giver of passion is lead to a profound understanding about what they are passionate about.
2. The passion within the individual reaches a dedication to teach it. They are then inspired with empowerment to share this newly found insight.
3. Through repetition of sharing this universal knowledge of information, they subconsciously teach themselves to remember it. For example, professionals miss steps, leave details out, and consciously forget how to do their profession when teaching. Professionals do things out of habit and habits are done through the subconsciousness. The subconsciousness takes over and the consciousness is off thinking about other things. In order to teach, you have to gain conscious control and this is easy to do if your not a professional.
4. Through a series of events, eventually they subconsciously program themselves to live what they are teaching (rather than just teaching it).
5. Through living this empowered information, it leads them to another profound understanding, and the process repeats itself again. The infinite circle of progress is complete (the more you follow this pattern, the more abundance you will be giving, hence abundance received).
I hope that helps to clarify the model of reciprocity better. It has worked for me :)
I really enjoyed this post, Tim. Peter Senge (5th Discipline) talks about “creative tension”, which is what develops when there’s a gap between where we are and where we want to be. When we have a gap between where we are and where we want to be, our unconscious starts working to resolve that tension – and that’s how we get creative epiphanies. But creative tension can feel really crap, so we often avoid it.
I find that a really good way to avoid creative tension (which can be quite a nasty angst) is by putting my goals “out there”, in the future on my timeline!
I’m learning to appreciate and trust the power of this creative tension – enough to be willing to endure the angst. And I’m starting to remember more often to take the next SMALL step on my longer-term goals/ changes I’m making.
@ Ali – So you’re starting to realize that it’s a challenge, huh? Watch that language ;-) Best of luck with your book!
@ Matt – It sounds to me like your trying to create a need for people that don’t know they have one and that is always harder than to meet a known need. All I’ll say is it can be done although sometimes you may need to look at things a bit differently and step back from time to time.
@ Mike – Thanks for being the first person to ever mention “cranial rectal inversion” on my blog! That sounds like a great idea for a business. Just stay focused and committed and you can pull it off.
@ Lori – Glad to hear that we’re going to be taking the shackles off your goals starting!
@ Tess – That is pretty much my take on my blog. I think we’re lucky that we’re approaching it like that not from a position of having to make money. Have fun giving value and the money should follow.
@ Tracy – I think its brilliant what you do and I also think your attitude is spot on. There’s no need to force the issue, things will happen in good time. Just enjoy the time with your kids because in 25 years time you’d give a lot of money to have one day of kid induced chaos.
@ George – You have to do what is right for you bud. If you are getting where you want to be without written goals I don’t see anything wrong with that. OTOH, if you’re not, then maybe a new approach is called for?
@ Jay – 25!!! Wow! Imagine when your first book goes best seller and you tell your publisher you have another 24 ready to go! You can then take the next 20 years off ;-)
@ Alex – I’d like patience too, but I want it now. You make an important point about thinking. Too many people link it to time wasting yet it’s critically important imho.
@ Evan – I have a list of about 85 goals, but I’m not usually working on more than a couple at once. The overall dream though is something I’m always moving toward.
@ Nicholas – Imagine what the world would be like if we all did more than we expected in return! And yes it does explain it, thanks for taking the trouble.
@ Cath – I know exactly what you mean. That was the explanation given to me why goal statements set in the present tense because they create the sense of disconnect and the unconscious mind sets off to bridge the gap. Small steps will get you there every time.
Hi Tim!
Soooo….”Just enjoy the time with your kids because in 25 years time you’d give a lot of money to have one day of kid induced chaos.”
People will pay oodles of money for that? I think we might just have found a win-win-win business proposition!
You know, I think I have felt a lot more at peace since I came to a point where I realized yes, I can start working towards my goals now but that there is nothing at all wrong with taking the scenic route.
Good work, Tim!
I recently realized one of my big goals is also to do pro-bono or donation-based coaching. Perhaps I stole your idea! :) So I too went ahead and just did it, rather than waiting for the perfect moment (and having almost no clients in the mean time).
Horray for helping!
Tim,
You know me, always trying to enhance the experience….
@ Tracy – Absolutely there isn’t and I’d go a stage further and say maybe we’re supposed to take the scenic route. Isn’t that what life is all about?
@ Duff – The second part of that dream is to get a website offering free coaching where qualified coaches can give their time for free. Anything from one session to whatever they are comfortable with and then people apply to work with them. Maybe I’ll be back to you ;-)
@ Mike – Sure do ;-)
I’m commenting here just to prove I actually read blogs. See? Truth.
Hey, have you ever written a post on goals? You should write a post about goals.
Johnny Truants last blog post..Apparently my baby is having a stroke
Thanks TIM!!!!!!
@ Johnny – Have I ever written on goals? Yeh, once or twice bud ;-)
@ Diane – I don’t know exactly what I’ve done, but thanks for the thanks!