A Life Coaching Case Study

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I’ve never done a life coaching case study before, largely because it’d never crossed my mind until somebody recently suggested it.

Even then I was doubtful because there are obvious client confidentiality issues and I wasn’t even sure I could make one interesting to read.

The latter reason evaporated when talking to a client recently. She had me literally begging her to let me put her under the microscope and use her story as an example in demonstrating that we’re all greater than we often think we are.

The thing is I don’t think she even realizes how amazing her achievements are and how much courage she demonstrated. She was just getting on with her life in the only way she knew how.

Jean e-mailed me in early February. She had just read ‘Don’t Ask Stupid Questions’ (click the link to get your free copy) and was looking to hire a life coach and thought I might fit the bill.

We had a chat on the phone and she explained she was really looking for a face-to-face coach to help her with defining exactly what she wanted to do with her life and also get an action plan in place.

This immediately posed a of problem as she lived 100 miles away on the west coast of Florida and let’s face it, nobody drives 100 miles to see a Life Coach.

It was at this point that I started to get an insight into the single-mindedness of Jean when she said she was happy to drive over and see me. What? There must be 50 life coaches nearer to her home and yet she was prepared to drive 2 hours because it felt right.

Now that’s what I call commitment!

So we set up a double session in which we could blitz all the early stuff and spend a good amount of time looking at her values.

When we started she was working part time in something she insisted on calling her J.O.B. By that I mean she literally spelled it out each time and refused to say the word.

When I questioned her about this she explained it was because she knew it wasn’t her real job, just that it was paying the bills for the moment. She was disassociating herself from her job, because she knew her current position didn’t represent her or what she was capable of. It was merely a short-term means to an end.

It appeared her path was going down the Virtual Assistant (VA) route as she had lots of experience and skills that would make her services in high demand, presuming that is, she could market herself well enough.

You didn’t need to be a life coaching genius to realize that being a VA wasn’t really Jean’s calling in life, even if she didn’t fully know it herself. Her body language and voice tonality when talking about her chosen career weren’t congruent with somebody that was excited about what the future held for her.

She was saying the rights things with the words, but the body language and voice tone were screaming something else. As we talked more it soon became apparent the real reason she wanted to be a VA (other than because she knew she’d be good at it), and that was she genuinely loved to help people.

Whenever we talked about helping others and in particular what I did for a living, her entire demeanor changed. She became more animated, bubbly and really excited.

It was like night and day and would have been apparent to most people, but not Jean. When I pointed it out she seemed ‘almost’ reluctant to agree and there was obviously some doubt about her abilities to do something that seemed so ‘out there’ in terms of her current skill set.

After some in-depth discussions and a begrudging admission on her behalf that being a VA (even a great one) wasn’t really in her DNA, she signed up to do 4 taster sessions with a well known Life Coach training company.

Once she had committed to doing that the change was again remarkable, and I even thought my job was done after only 4 sessions.

Then came the bombshell after her first teleseminar. She was somewhat underwhelmed and frustrated by the process and thought that maybe she’d made a mistake in looking at becoming a life coach.

We revisited some of the old ground and I urged her to stick it out and see how she felt after the final phone call.

Things were definitely better by the end, but not great. She was a bit disappointed by the approach adopted by the training company. It just wasn’t quite gelling for her as she had hoped and presumed it would.

Note: The company in question adopt a very strict solution coaching model. Although I trained in this myself and it can be very powerful, it can also bore your arse off.

At this point she was having massive doubts about her own abilities to make a career in life coaching, especially as the taster sessions had been less than captivating. I pointed out that not all companies are alike and maybe she could try one that adopted a different coaching model.

I also reminded her of the fact that she is an incredibly determined person and committed to being successful in her life and making a positive difference in other peoples.

The fact is EVERYBODY has doubts from time to time and I do mean EVERYBODY.

Some people are great at hiding them, but trust me, they are there lurking under the surface.

If I have a client tell me they can’t do something or they have doubts, my default reaction is to look for contrary evidence no matter how seemingly trivial. I want to at the very least pour doubt on to that belief and start to undermine it.

So I started fishing for examples of where she’d previously overcome the odds and suddenly she asked me if I’d like to know about her earlier life?

Sure I said and then I shut up for about 20 minutes as she did my job for me. I can’t even remember everything because I was so enthralled I didn’t take a single note, but here is the gist:

• Age 5 – She was frequently laughed at for suffering from a speech defect. She thinks the defect was brought on by her mom trying to raise he speaking Chinese when they lived in Indonesian. Apparently they are very different languages and can be confusing to the brain at such an early age.
• Age 7 – Taught herself to be fluent in both languages as well as English.
• Age 10 – Refused to play with dolls or wear skirts and much preferred to wrestle with the bigger boys in her neighborhood.
• Age 13 Had an epiphany and decided; “I didn’t want to go to high school – graduate from HS – go to college – have a boyfriend – get a job – get married – give birth to children – raise children – then die in a small little alley in her hometown” So she joined a Pen-Pal organization in Switzerland determined to meet people from overseas. This was before the Internet and she had to raise the necessary cash and then mail it. She soon had pen-pals in Greece, France and USA and was nurturing her thirst for knowledge.
• Age 15 – Left home to go to school in Malaysia on her own leaving her family and friends behind. Supported herself through schooling by waiting tables & being a local tour guide.
• Age 17 – Left school and returned to Indonesia. Got accepted for the first job she applied for. Started to save money with the intention of seeing more of the world, although she wasn’t sure where she wanted to go at this stage.
• Age 20 – Now more sure than ever she wanted to leave Indonesia she began applying to US schools for scholarships. After multiple rejections received an acceptance.
• Age 21 – Once again left her family and friends behind and came to the US on her own without any support structure.

After she finished I started laughing and I’m sure you can understand why. This lady had demonstrated more determination, courage and self-belief in a few years than many people do in their entire lives. And she was worried about whether she could ever be a great Life Coach!

Needless to say we had words and I told her I didn’t want to hear about any more of her bullshit doubts, because she could do anything she put her mind to and had already proved that.

A week or so later she had signed up at Coachville and had taken one of their introductory courses. This time the response was different. This was the life coaching she was looking for, and talking to her about it afterward was amazing.

No more doubts about being a Life Coach no more doubts about following her heart and no more doubts that she can be a brilliant world-class Life Coach. Well ok, maybe one or two on the latter but I’ll keep beating those out of her just for old times sake.