As you probably know I’m a tad obsessed with questions. I have even written two posts, 7 Killer Life Coach Questions and 20 Awesome Self Development Questions in the last year or two just to ram home my point.
As a Life Coach, questions are at the core of what I do and if I can’t ask questions that will shift a clients thinking then I’m not doing my job properly.
Simply put, the quality of the questions you ask yourself will dictate the quality of your life.
Recently as I was driving to Yoga I was passed by a woman doing about 60mph in a 40mph zone. She had two small kids in the back of her SUV and for the 2 or 3 seconds it took her to pass me, not once did she look at the road.
She was way too busy texting.
About half a mile later I pulled alongside her at some traffic lights and she was still wrapped up with something on her phone. Maybe she wasn’t texting, maybe she was actually developing an iPhone app or directing brain surgery to a medical colleague, I really have no idea.
I had a huge urge to roll my window down and shout “Do you hate your kids?”
I figured that would snap her state and maybe help her realize that she wasn’t just putting her own life and anybody unfortunate enough to be near her at risk, but her kids too.
I didn’t though, I just sat there and gawped at her in disbelief and for about the millionth time thought “When are they going to make this insanity illegal in Florida?”
As I continued on my drive I started thinking about questions again and the fact that most of us ask pretty crap questions of ourselves and as a result get pretty crap answers.
It reminded me of the joke that if Sarah Palin is the answer then it must have been a pretty dumb question in the first place.
So I thought why not drag dead Dobbin back out for another damn good flogging and regale you with 50 of the finest life changing questions this planet has ever known?
- Do the people I love know I love them, or do I just presume they do?
- What would my life be like if I was kinder to myself?
- If stress is fear, what am I fearful of?
- Will this matter in a few days/weeks/months time?
- What makes me think having more money will make me happier?
- Who can I help?
- Who can help me?
- Is that guy that just cut me up a knob or just attending an emergency?
- Am I loyal?
- Is my cell phone really necessary in the gym?
- What if I’m wrong?
- Can I let this grudge go?
- Is my life moving in the direction I want it to?
- Is that so?
- Is this Life Coach really trying to rip me off with his free ebook offer?
- Will I feel better tomorrow if I don’t eat that 9th slice of pizza?
- What am I grateful for?
- What am I looking to achieve here?
- If I could achieve one thing is my life, what would it be?
- After the event, will I be happier if I go to the gym or watch TV?
- What am I proud of?
- Do I like myself?
- If I don’t like myself, what can I do to help me realize I’m truly amazing?
- Do I truly understand that which I hate?
- Could I give more to those that really need it?
- What does my gut instinct say?
- Does the physical appearance of that person really tell me much about them?
- Will another self development book make the difference?
- Is TV news really improving the quality of my life?
- Can I go an entire day without one negative comment?
- Am I 100% responsible for my own life?
- Can I really multi-task or am I just fooling myself?
- Do I fully relax as often as I’d like?
- If not now, then when?
- If I don’t change now, will I regret it in 5 or 10 years time?
- if I stop comparing myself to others, how will I feel?
- Is it really ok for me to park in that handicap space?
- Am I jumping to conclusions?
- Where is the good in this?
- What is my body telling me?
- Am I setting a great example?
- What am I happiest doing?
- What if I just laughed?
- Will this expensive purchase make me happier in 6 months?
- Do I really need to clean every supermarket trolley handle to avoid premature death?
- Can I chose not to be offended?
- Do I spend enough time with the people that matter most to me?
- Am I honest with myself?
- Is this offer of a life time really the offer of a life time?
- Should I hire a Life Coach?
So what’s your favorite, or more to the point, have I missed out a real beauty.
Free Ebooks Coming Your Way!
My request for self development ebooks to giveaway to my newsletter readers exceeded my expectations.
As such I can say with confidence that I will be definitely rolling this out next week.
What that means for you, is that if you sign up for my newsletter, you not only get my books on the ‘50 Greatest Motivational Quotes’ and ‘How Do I Set Goals That Work?‘, but you also will recieve at least one other free ebook every month. Cool eh?
What have I gained from doing things this way?
What can I gain from trying to do something differently?
(Because if we do something even something we hate, there is a gain to it or we wouldn’t do it. Maybe we get to stay “the victim” , maybe the value behind it is more important to us than something else….)
I don’t know whether there’s always a gain, but I agree there is always a positive intent behind the action.
Yowza! #2 reached out and smacked me upside the head this morning! What would my life be like if I was kinder to myself? Sometimes I get so caught up in being there for everyone else I do forget that kindness would make as much of a difference for me as it does for them. Back later, must go ponder this pre-caffeine wake up call!
Damn right you should ponder it! You are the most important person to you.
I love # 40. What is my body telling me? It’s so easy to start living in my head and once I’m there, I get stuck intellectualizing and ‘figuring things out’ as opposed to tapping into my intuition. Good reminder.
Yeh I think we all do that to a greater or lesser extent, so it’s cool to stop and take notice from time to time.
awesome and just what I needed to read this morning…shared it all over the place…Thank you
Now off to hopefully get raspberries for my winter needs
Thanks a lot for sharing Patricia, I really appreciate it!
I wish I had the funds to work with you Tim…I have so much to learn and am beating myself up for having not lost the weight or have gotten my business to pay for itself…I think I am on my right path and working my purpose Finances and Weight loss to health are just blocked…
The least I can do is keep reading and sharing your good words and ideas with others…
I printed off your 50 questions…and put them on my refrigerator …I think they will assist me with Wiseears.com
too
Wow how to market
Well you know the first thing I’d say would be “I refuse to work with you until you give yourself the respect you deserve!” ;-)
No self abuse allowed round here P.
Hi Tim,
Mate great questions maketh the man or woman. Like your subtle “digs”. You are the King of Q’s, keep it up & thank you.
be good to yourself
David
Me, digging? I have no idea what you mean mate ;-)
#33 is a big one for me right now. The answer is absolutely no but I hadn’t really thought about it much until I read that question. This weekend I intend to actively improve on this part of my life.
Thanks for the prompt Tim.
Good for you Rachel. We do sometimes have to chill and take time out for ourselves.
I like #45…felt a bit like ordering at a Chinese restaurant… I will have #45 please! (don’t know why I am shouting…sorry, Tim.)
In my office building they have installed alcohol dispensers on every floor by the elevators. In my grocery store, they have big green bottles of the alcohol goop at the checkouts AND the wipes are available at the door for wiping down the carts.
When did we become so germaphobic? Was it like the boiling frog syndrome that it just crept up on us without us realizing it until we were surrounded by it? Starting with either Mad Cow or Birds Flu or something like that until eventually people started freaking out if the alcohol dispenser was out at the elevator or the little tissuey thing for our toilet seat wasn’t there? Could I even survive in India?
I really must admit that I actually have a tiny bottle of that stuff in my purse, which I find convenient for those times when I am trying to text but I just ate a cheeseburger from the drive-through and I got ketchup on the steering wheel.
Thanks for a great post.
I certainly hope that you text and eat and clean yourself all at the same time. Thank God for rain sensing windshield wipers, after all we have so much shit going on we don’t have time to check the meteorological conditions ;-)
BTW, I’d be tempted to just drink the alcohol.
Yeah, too busy for such mundane things as DRIVING. Who’s got time for that? I would never drink the alcohol while I am driving though…that would just be bad.
Apparently in Montana you can drive with an open container in the car. It must be really tricky texting, drinking and driving. OTOH, what are your knees for if not navigating busy highways as you tell your BFF you’re running 19 seconds late.
# 30 Can I go an entire day without one negative comment?
I would love to know how many people could honestly say yes to this one. If you’re answer is yes…. I’d love to get to know you :-)
Probably not mate, but you have to set big goals!
That one also got me. I’m going to try one hour, and work my way up to a whole day.
Let us know how you get on Ali!
I got #15 and #16 mixed up and now I’m sad you’re not offering free pizza. Good questions all the same :)
I am offering free pizza mate. You get a slice when you sign up for my newsletter.
Tim, I still think the one I posted on Twitter is up there, but I won’t stain your blog by repeating it here. I know the unwritten part of your response was “… why didn’t I think of that?”. :D
Exactly mate, your comedic genius always leaves me in awe ;-)
Have just turned the telly off after reading ‘What is your body telling you?’ Errrrrrrr, I’m knackered and need a good nights sleep more than I need to watch Torchwood!
Oh and to add my own ‘Who do I want to be?’ closely followed by ‘How can I make that happen’
Great thought provoking questions!
Night night :)
Well okkkk, as long as the who do I want to be? Comes back with, me!
# 45. Do I really need to clean every supermarket trolley handle to avoid premature death?
This made me laugh. People who do this cause me to roll my eyes in such a large circle I give myself a headache.
Oh, and the answer to # 37. Is it really ok for me to park in that handicap space? – unless you have a badge, no it effing is not.
That started out as a longer rant that said “Is it really ok for me to park in that handicap space just because I have a big fucking car and can afford the fine” but it spread on to 2 lines and ruined the flow ;-)
It was inspired by the fact that almost every time I got to collect an Indian takeaway there is a Ferrari parked either in the handicap spot or the 15 minute waiting spot. I think one of the restaurant owners owns it, either that or there’s a very rich handicapped person in Orlando that eats way too much take out food.
Do I really want to say this? Will it help anything?
Asked before tweeting or commenting. I delete a lot of tweets and comments.
Really? I almost never delete tweets unless I balls it up spelling wise.
What would happen if I did nothing? (Works well with adult children with chronic financial requests)
What if I counted to 10 before responding? How about 20? (Works pretty much with all situations, as long as it’s not a 911 event)
What if I gave someone the benefit of the doubt today?
LOL, yeh don’t start that count as blood is gushing from the mangled body of the guy you just ran over ;-)
Wow, your blog has come on a pace since last I checked (probably too long ago now)…
My all time favourite…
What is it that I feel or think about myself that makes me feel or think that way about them?
Where’ve you been Dan, I presumed you were dead mate?
Oooo, #3 … I think I give way to much power to things I fear. Need to work on this.
Maybe change that ‘need’ to ‘want’ Deb and take the pressure off a tad ;-)
Usually don’t make that “slip”. Thanks, Tim.
Superb list, Tim! Some of them really force you to stop and think. Like #24: “Do I truly understand that which I hate?” I’m willing to bet that for most of us the answer to that one is often no. That one also begs a follow-up question: “Do I *want* to understand what I hate?” We’re often so attached to our own beliefs that we’re afraid of opening ourselves to understanding, maybe fearing that understanding would actually mean tacit approval.
So many questions to ask, so much juicy insight to be had.
Thanks for the list.
Yep, brilliant follow up Curt and I think your right and that most people don’t want to understand.
Thanks for the comment.
Wow and wow! I’m born under the sign of Libra. Everything needs a weigh up before I decide which one I like the best. I got absolutely nowhere. I’ve now printed out your 50 questions and slapped them face front on my desk. When I’ve found the one I like most, I’ll let you know. Thank you for sharing. Invaluable!