The previous post, “Do SMART Goals Suck?’ created some really cool conversation in the comments and some strong opinions and well thought out arguments.
Today I wanted to take some time today to dispel some of the myths, or at least what I think of as myths, of goal setting.
I think some people quite naturally got wrapped up in what worked for them and that only means one thing. It worked for them.
Everybody Should Set Written Goals
I know lots and lots of highly successful people that have never written a goal in their life. Goals have a tendency to be the preserve of more left-brained people in my experience.
That does not mean creative right-brained types don’t set goals, just that I believe they are less likely to and would probably benefit from using a looser structure.
Some people rebel at having strict boundaries and working in a highly structured format and guess what? This Life Coach is one of them!
Shocking though it may be, all my goals except the How To Be Rich and Happy project are one liners that don’t necessarily fit my own SMARTER method. Even the big one we are working on kind of fell into the framework, rather than planning it that way.
Writing stuff down definitely helps clarify the process and uses a different part of the brain. Therefore it does bring a more holistic view to the goal which can be very helpful for many people.
There seems to be plenty of anecdotal evidence to suggest writing goals down is very useful, but as a Life Coach I do not ram them down the throats of people that are highly resistant.
If you want to skin cats, but don’t want to set a goal to do so, that’s cool, because there’s more than one way to skin a cat.
Note: Before anybody dives in to tell me about the 3% of people that outperformed the 97% at Yale University in the 1950’s, that research is completely bogus.
There is no conclusive proof that I know of, that writing goals down makes them more likely to come to fruition, although the masses of anecdotal evidence certainly leads me to believe that to be the case.
Only Set One Big Goal At A Time
I have seen this a lot and it’s an opinion shared by a lot of high profile bloggers that have obviously never worked one-on-one with clients.
I think for the majority of people limiting themselves to one huge goal at once is probably a good idea. However, for other people they may like the flexibility if they hit a road block on one project, to flip to another.
What feels right for you?
Do you get stressed or overwhelmed by having more than one goal? If so that’s cool pick the most important and throw all your energy into that one. If you like to spin plates and seldom lose enthusiasm or get overwhelmed, feel free to set multiple goals.
Goals Should Be Fixed
Goals should neither be fixed nor flexible.
If it helps you to believe that it’s all or nothing, and presuming you wont feel suicidal if you miss, then go for it and nail the suckers to the wall.
Just be aware that you can get derailed, often through no fault of your own.
On the other hand, if missing a goal would cause you consternation, then realize you can adjust your aim at any time and take the pressure off yourself.
There aren’t any goal police waiting to give you a ticket and beat you with sticks if you do this the wrong way, because there is no wrong way.
The SMART Method Is The Best
Apart from being completely useless with dreams and visions that don’t fit its framework, the SMART method falls short in two major areas, which is why I came up with SMARTER. SMARTER is really a combination of SMART goals and NLP’s well-formed outcomes.
In addition to Specific, Measurable, Action-Oriented, Realist and Time-bound, SMARTER has the following components.
E is for ECOLOGY.
Goals should take into account not only your own ecology (i.e. is your goal in alignment with your own values?) but that of people around you. I recently had a client that loved to travel and wanted to backpack round Europe.
Not a problem you may think until you take into account he was married with a kid and another on the way. This doesn’t necessarily mean scrap the goal (or it may), but it may mean some compromise is necessary.
R is for REWARD.
This is the most crucial element of any goal in my opinion. By reward I mean what does hitting the goal really give you at the deepest level? Goals that meet our core values are much more likely to be hit in my experience. With a client I want to hear words like; significance, legacy, peace of mind, freedom and several others here.
Take my own huge goal. My reward will be leaving a legacy and making a difference. On Monday when I had hundreds of books to mail and had lots of others things to do it would have been easy to have concentrated on what a pain in the arse that was.
Instead though as I got each envelope ready I was thinking,
“This book could be the one that leads to a news article that is seen by Oprah’s researchers and helps us hit our target”
Then I would think about how great it will be to positively influence the lives of so many people.
Every now and then I’d also think about the two people that said I was being unrealistic and think how nice it will be to smile broadly at them and ask “Sorry, what were you saying about being unrealistic?”
It’s Best To Set Incremental Goals
Yes and no on this one because it depends massively on the individual. With the How To Be Rich and Happy million book giveaway we have no sub-goals even though I encourage clients to have them most of the time.
The reason we have no sub-goals is because both myself and John are inspired by huge goals. Not only that, but of we come up short whether it’s by 990,00 or 99 I won’t be devastated.
I don’t mean I wont be trying 100% and be a tad disappointed, but as long as I know we did our best I want allow it to bring me down. As the saying goes
“Have a high intention and low attachment”
In other words, intend to do your best and hit your goal, but if you don’t, let that sucker go!
If you do see missing a goal as failure I would advise you to set easy to hit sub-goals that are largely within your control. Remember though, even the smallest goal can be ripped out of your grasp by external forces.
I think you get the gist on this that we’re all different and to talk about goals being this or being that is not really helpful. As I never tire of saying (although you may tire of reading) there is no how it is, there’s only how it is for you.
Finally remember this.
“Goals hit or goals missed do not define you as a human being”
If you do your best, and maybe even if you don’t, you should never let any goal, project or task make you doubt your worth because you’re a lot, lot more than that.
Now stop being a tight arse and if you haven’t already done so, go and buy How To Be Rich and Happy and help me hit my goal of helping 1,000,000 people as well as getting a damn good read into the bargain, if I do say so myself ;-)
Tim Brownson is a Certified Life Coach and has been unsticking people and helping them reach their true potential since 2005. If you would like to know how he can help you
Some wiry Englishman sat me down and helped me realize what my highest values were. Right at the top of my list came peace of mind.
My highest value is fulfilled regardless of whether my goals are met if I gave it my all, and performed well in the pursuit of my goal. It is also fulfilled if I failed, yet I drew lessons from the failure to improve on for the next effort.
The use of the SMART(ER) method has helped me focus my efforts toward meeting my purpose. Purpose is my path, goals are some viewing spots along the path. SMARTER has helped me to improve the quality of my path by pointing out some great photo op spots along the way. If I miss them, I can loop back and try again, get to them a different way, or realize they weren’t crucial to the journey to begin with.
Writing the goals down, speaking of them to others, and even meditating on them, visualizing having achieved the goal, and the steps leading up to the achievement, strengthens my mental picture show surrounding my goal. It keeps me moving toward it, and helps me work around the obstacles in between.
I guess that helps me to be Rich and Happy. Hope Helen is recovering well Tim.
Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
I’ve been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!
Thumbs up, and keep it going!
Cheers
Christian, iwspo.net
@ Mike – Thanks a lot mate. That’s all sound advice and I don’t really know what to add!
I just had a perfect example myself of setting flexible goals.
I’m in the middle of my revision, so I set goals with regards to that.
Well, revising for my first exam, I planned to read through all the lecture notes (some 120 pages or so) on the first day, then work through example sheets on the next couple of days.
I massively underestimated how much thinking reading the notes requires. So on the first day, I read about 15 pages in several hours, saw the futility of it all, and went on and wasted the rest of the day online.
Now if I’d set inflexible goals, that would be an utter failure, and I would probably waste the next couple of days too, since what would be the point.
Instead, clearly the main goal was doing my best in the exam, so I re-defined the partial goal. Instead of reading through all the notes at once, I would just read enough each day to do the example sheets I scheduled for that day, which would let me finish the revision in 5 days and have a day extra for practice past exam papers.
So far I’m on day 3 and it’s going beautifully. Yay for flexible goals! :D
@ Christian – Thanks
@ Vlad – Would it have been an utter failure or a minor inconvenience? ;-)
Hi Tim – Smart advice as usual – I really hope you get on Oprah. I’ve been crossing my fingers for you and I reckon if anyone can do it you can.
I like the bit at the end where you say you shouldnt let any goal or project doubt your worth. That is so true. I did that for a long time and it stops you moving forward with something else.
“Have a high intention and low attachment” is huge when it comes to goal setting for me.
I find the goal setting/planning step is very important to identify the resources required and to outline the objective.
Letting go of the outcome is powerful: often leads to better opportunities or a bigger goal unexpected.
In those circumstances I have learned it’s important to develop wider awareness/open-mindedness: take off the blinkers of being attached to the original goal.
Ya I am supporting you that sometimes we have many goals to achieve and at that time for gaining those all goals at the same time we are not giving our best or say equal response to all goals and because of these we feel stressfulness. So it is good to accept one big goal at the same time and give your best in that and then start another after completing it.
\That does not mean creative right-brained types don’t set goals, just that I believe they are less likely to and would probably benefit from using a looser structure.\
Tim, i am strictly right brainer and really feel that SMART-ER method kind of unflexible.
What kind of goal-setting way do you think is good for right-brainers?
@ Cath – Thanks a lot!
@ Rob – I couldn’t agree more
@ Anthony – For most people I agree that’s sensible advice
@ Albert – Tough call not knowing you, but I’d suggest concentrating more on the Reward of SMARTER and finding out what you really want at a core level. Focus on that and make the goal fit you rather than vice versa.
One of the things I have discovered about personal development is that for every opinion, there is also an opposite opinion which may leave an individual wondering who is right.
The fact is, BOTH and NEITHER! They are each right for some people and neither is right for all people.
You really have to way the information, try it both ways and learn which works best for you. Or you can work with a great coach who can help you realize if something isn’t working because it isn’t right for you or if there is something else that may be holding you back from making it work.