Finding Your Own Path

Today’s Friday guest post is written by the supremely gifted Joely Black, she of Amnar fame. I have known her for what seems like decades, but is probably no more than about a year or so. She is funny, chatty and very English indeed. She’s also an excellent writer and has written more books than Shakespeare and Dickens combined. That’s Frank Shakespeare and Billy Bob Dickens from Pensacola in case you were wondering.

If you want to write, but don’t think you can, she may very well be the person you want to speak with as she coaches aspiring writers. You can also follow her on Twitter where she goes under the name of The Charm Quark, and why not? And while your there following her, you may want to join me too?

If you want to write for The Discomfort Zone, let me know. It seems a lot of people like to let me know, but far fewer actually want to send me anything. I’m not taking this personally as I’m managing to stay a couple of weeks ahead, but I will actually need a post. I published an I.O.U. one time and it bombed horribly.

Well, it’s Friday at the end of an incredible week. I feel like I’ve been picked up by a whirlwind and I still haven’t worked out where I’m going to land. Last week, I was on the brink of destitution, this week I’m suddenly rising out of nothing. I have a speaking gig, I’m teaching new clients how to fall in love with their writing, and my own books are suddenly going places in the States. So much has gone on over the last week or so that I haven’t even had the chance to stop for a celebration of it all.

What Happened?

I had a business providing change management services to corporations. There was always some writing involved, but I hated it. I had to work at the clients’ offices, and although I was paid a great deal of money, I would have to take long breaks to get over each contract – that’s how much I hated it.

After my last contract, I decided I really needed to do something different. I started out doing what everybody tells you to do: lots of reading, lots of research, lots of exploring. I ended up in a miasma of confusion with a huge amount of information, but nothing felt right.

You see, I’m one of those intuitive types. I go for things because they ‘feel’ right. I’m also unconvinced by the idea that the only way to get anywhere in life is to do what other people think is best. Yet, for a while I became lost in a complete deluge of advice. I completely forgot to stop and think about what might be right for me.

Eventually, it got too much. I had to stop. It took a lot of courage, and a lot of self-trust. We’re often so completely swamped with information and advice that we forget one absolutely crucial fact: only we know what’s most appropriate for us.

I’ve been working for a while with clients who are struggling to write what they really want to write. They find themselves faced with the same slew of different ideas, most of them based around being extremely disciplined, writing every single day whether they want to or not, and sticking to some kind of complicated writing ‘process’.

The most important thing for them is actually to find the confidence to write according to their own rules, rather than fitting in to somebody else’s – mine or not. It’s often more difficult than you’d think. We go to school and maybe college and university and we’re constantly told that there’s a certain way to do everything.

Ever noticed how the most successful people find their own path, the one that suits them, rather than trying to fit in to what the experts or other successful people say?

I had to get back to myself. It took a few days when I didn’t read, didn’t try to get advice from anybody, before I came back to myself and I worked out the best direction from me. I had been helping people with their writing for a long time, so I began to do that professionally.

Amazing things began to happen. Before I’d even released my business model and coaching plans, I had clients asking to sign up. I started chatting to people online about it and without my asking, they put the word out. I ended up at a networking event yesterday where I encountered a woman who really inspired me. I approached her directly, and she’s started putting my name out, including to a major entrepreneurial event here in two weeks. I contacted them and they asked me to do a talk on my success.

All this has happened very fast. You’ll notice when I say it’s a good idea to let go, to follow your own path, I’m not talking about doing nothing at all but sitting on the couch. But without a plan I have to stick to like-it-or-not, I have the freedom to respond to what comes, and act according to my own strengths. I’ve found marketing and development strategies that fit around my talents and abilities, and I do this with clients – not tell them what to do, but to help them work out what works best for them, to do what they want in their own way.

If you’re looking to live life your own way, have the courage to find your own path. Reach out to others when you need help, but remember that you don’t simply have to do whatever they say, or that the only way to live your life is to adhere to some pre-ordained plan. Step out and see what happens when you follow your own heart.

BIO: Isabel Joely Black is an author, writer and artist living in the UK. She works with writers who are struggling to overcome their blocks and get back in touch with their muse. Her work is available through her website and her blog at

The final days of availability for the critcally acclaimed (by my good self ) book, ‘Know Yourself – Change Yourself‘ are  running out. I know it’s crazy, insane, loco, nuts and quite frankly ga-ga, but I’m sendind a FREE copy of ‘Stress Is For Suckers’ to everybody that splashes the cash and invests the necessary ten bucks. ‘Stress Is For Suckers’ offers real world advice and proven methods to help ANYBODY this side of a meth-addicted air traffic controller, counter stress. As of 31st March this offer will cease to be, the book will no longer be available as it stands now and you’ll probably be sobbing yourself to sleep if you haven’t taken advantage of my generosity/stupidity.