If you follow my two-stage plan to the letter I can have you up and running as a full fledged Life Coach by the time you finish reading this post.
Do not cut corners though. This is a tried and trusted method guaranteed to have you living the life of your dreams and bathing in client supplied cash in no time at all.
Not only that, but I can help you with absolutely no money down and none due on completion. How’s that for the deal of a lifetime? Certainly worth whipping yourself into a frenzy for, I think you’ll agree.
Well here’s the lowdown, and remember to tell all your friends because the world needs more websites with pictures of sunrises and star fish as well as crap vision statements and twee taglines about being ‘a better you’ on them. So here we go:
1. Call Yourself a Life Coach
When anybody asks you what you do for a living you reply, “I’m a life coach” This is very important. Under no circumstances should you say:
“I’m a magician, I’m a cosmologist or I’m the dictator of a small African nation”
Life Coach’s almost never say such things. Partly because they tend not to be true, but mainly because the chances of being hired by a potential client are massively reduced. David Blaine, Steven Hawking and Robert Mugabe have never been hired to life coach anybody to the best of my knowledge.
2. Think Of A Company Name
Think up a company name and register it with whoever you need to register company names with in your, County, State, Country, Constellation etc. Try to incorporate as many of the following words into your company name as possible; Authentic, awaken, vision, inspire, dream and of course Life Coach and/or Life Coaching.
I’ve just checked and unbelievably Awakenfromyourdreamsinspiredwithanewauthenticvisionlifecoaching.com is still available. Hurry and register it before somebody else snaps it up. You’d be a fool not to.
There are a couple of drawbacks to all this though.
Officially you are, as I say, a Life Coach, and nobody can take that away from you so don’t fret.
However, it doesn’t necessarily mean anybody will hire you even if you’re a coaching genius, which I suspect we both know you are.
I know, I know, life (coaching) just isn’t fair, but worry not because I’m not going to desert you now we’ve come this far together my dolphin-loving friend.
Firstly, we need to ascertain whether life Coaching is absolutely right for you.
I’m sure you are a perfect candidate, but let’s do due diligence anyway, just in case.
Run through the following checklist and make sure at least three of the reasons for becoming a coach apply to you. Three is a bare minimum and five or above would mean you and coaching is a marriage made in heaven.
12 Great Reasons To Become A Life Coach
- You once persuaded your friend Susan to kick her husband out after the pig put his socks in her underwear drawer.
- You feel a strong urge to convert people to your way of thinking
- You like a good gossip
- You like wearing sandals and eating tofu sandwiches
- It’s easy money and there aren’t many set-up costs
- You once attended a Tony Robbins seminar and have a certificate to prove it
- You like to shout at people
- You get strangely aroused discussing other people problems
- You have a copy of ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” Reading it isn’t absolutely necessary – you showed willing.
- You can work on your own anger management issues at the same time
- You own a whistle and like wearing baseballs caps back to front
- You’ve attended the ‘University of Life’
I’m presuming that as you’re still with me you’re been ticking away with gay abandon. So let’s move on and look at what you need to be super-successful in your chosen field.
Life Coach Training
In the USA and UK there is no legal requirement to undertake any training whatsoever to become a Life Coach. That’s the good news, but the bad news is occasionally pesky clients ask to see some form of proof that you’re qualified to dispense your undoubted worldly wisdom. The bastards!
Anyway, there are several options available to you at this stage because obviously nobody wants to waste time and money training with an ICF accredited training organization and becoming a ‘professional’. Whatever one of those is.
I wasted 7 months and thousands of dollars with initial training and then a load more with ongoing training in NLP, Hypnotherapy and some other airy-fairy stuff the names of which I forget now. As I look back with a heavy heart I realize what a fool I was.
With that money I could have bought an industrial color laser jet printer, set up my own training organization (probably called Tim’s Top Training) and made myself President for life with the honorary title of ‘Supreme Coach of The Universe’. And still had enough money left over to throw a wild drug-fueled orgy.
Alas, I didn’t have access to sound advice like this and listened to do-gooder types that suggested training was the correct route.
If you haven’t got the cash to splash on the mega-printer I would advise three options.
Firstly, if a client asks to see proof, feign temporary deafness. Say you have a weird painful ringing in your ears and then as he or she shows concern deftly switch the subject to terms of payment.
If that doesn’t work and they still insist, you can choose option two and tell them to *&^% off because you’ve had troublemakers like them before and they’re obviously uncoachable.
I understand some people don’t feel comfortable abusing their clients, but no problem because there’s a third option and it’s called The Law of Attraction.
Law of Attraction
Until that women who wrote The Secret invented the Law of Attraction people had to work for a living. Now things have changed though and as a life coach you can put this to good use to make sacks of cash.
If you’re a law of attraction coach you don’t need any qualifications other than a strategically placed copy of The Secret, a vague knowledge of some guy called Abraham that talks and looks very much like a women and an ability to put a big cheesy smile on your face at a moments notice.
The biggest upside of being a Law of Attraction coach is that if clients don’t get the results they want it’s their fault! It’s quite brilliant.
If they complain that they don’t see any improvement just tell them they’re doing it wrong and they must be dreaming negative thoughts. Then double your rates telling them that they manifested you into doing so.
I know I said that you could become a LoA coach and I suppose that is a bit of a niche, but be careful you don’t fall into anymore. If you start positioning yourself as one type of coach, people that don’t need you will see you as a very strange fish and won’t phone. That can be bad for business.
Therefore, do what I did and claim to be a life coach, business coach, executive coach, stress management coach and solution coach. If somebody points out that each discipline requires a different skill set and approach, laugh loudly, shake your head slowly and then ask them what medication they are currently taking.
Marketing Your Life Coaching Services
Every Life Coach needs clients. I know they can play havoc with your social schedule, but the reality is they pay the bills. No matter how much you like stroking your chin and pondering the meaning of life, you’re going to have to speak to some of them from time to time.
Where do they come from you may well be wondering?
Seeing as it’s illegal for people to refer clients to you in every country on the planet except Luxembourg, they’ll have to come from marketing yourself.
I know that sounds tiresome and you don’t want to be hanging around Chamber of Commerce meetings with lots of sad-faced realtors eating vol-au-vents, sipping alcohol free wine and bemoaning the economy, but there’s another way.
World Wide Web
It’s called the Internet, it’s free and you don’t even have to get dressed in the morning to use it. How brilliant is that? The starting point is to get yourself an account on Twitter.
Don’t worry this isn’t a place for anorak wearing bird watchers to hang out, but a social media website. Twitter is chock full of guru’s and potential clients.
All you do is spend 12 to 15 hours per day ‘following’ every person you can find and hassling anybody stupid enough to enter ‘Life Coach’ into a tweet.
In return they’ll all love you and want to help you with free advice or by hiring you.
Ok, we’re almost home and dry, just one more thing to do.
Get A Weblog
A weblog or as the young cool kids call them these days, ‘blogs’ are great for encouraging clients to beat a path to your door.
In a matter of minutes after setting up your blog you’ll be sick of answering phone calls from people needing your services. Clients, reporters, TV stations, executive bigwigs and stalkers will all be eager to talk to you. So make sure you have a team of VA’s standing by once you hit that publish button for the first time.
So there you have it. You now have all the information you’ll ever need to become a successful Life Coach. Welcome aboard the gravy train and I look forward to networking with you in the near future.