The key to successful Life Coaching is change. Are you prepared to do what you need to do?
James from Men With Pens asked me two great questions after my last post and I’m going to attempt to answer them today.
Firstly he asked me this rather direct question:
Okay, why the hell don’t you write shit like that all the time? Not necessarily in that way, but with impact. With straightforward talk? With no humor to distract?
The humor thing actually has a solid logical reason behind it and you can read an entire post explaining that by reading ‘Method To My Madness‘.
Too many people (in my opinion) take a serious head up their ass approach to self-development and life coaching. There are hundreds of self-development blogs offering the same ole, same ole and I want to be a tad different. I know some people will hate my humor and some will like it. Bring on the latter group and let the former find what works best for them.
There’s another reason I wasn’t quite so aware of until I wrote ‘Imagine This’. It was mentally draining for me writing like that. I’ve never done as much re-writing as I did with that post. I originally didn’t think it would fit with this site and wrote it with another blog in mind. When it was turned down I set to work rewriting and it took a lot out of me. Not sure I want to be a tortured artiste, but then again I may do the occasional serious post.
Then he asked me a really excellent question that Mike from Able Training also enquired about:
So I have a question. A thoughtful one. Why? How can I read this, feel it, want it and know that I’m not going to do anything about it? Not because I don’t want to, but almost as if it’s out of reach.
I hear this so often. People have an epiphany that lasts a few minutes, hours or even on rare occasions, days, but soon afterward normal service is resumed and life goes on as before. Even people that undergo near death experiences will often fail to maintain the initial burst of enthusiasm to seize the day. Not all by any means, but a good percentage.
Do You Want To Change?
The starting point is asking yourself the question “Do I want to change? Or do I want to want to change?” In other words, do you think you should change, or do you have a genuine desire to better yourself and do whatever is necessary for you?
I can help somebody that wants to change, whereas I have difficulty doing so with somebody that thinks they should change. The reason being, people who think they should change don’t usually want to put the necessary work in because it’s a chore and an effort.
Will You Do What’s Necessary?
And therein lies the key. Some people will do what needs to be done, whereas others talk about doing what needs to be done. They’re much more likely to go for a quick nap or decide to start implementing a change strategy the following week than do anything there and then.
Are you a fit person? If you are, then it’s almost certainly because you put the requisite work in to get fit. A small minority of lucky souls are naturally quite fit, especially when they’re younger. But even a 20something that never does any physical exercise won’t be as fit as a 40something that exercises regularly, even if externally they may look great.
No sane person goes on a weekend boot camp and then declares they’re fit for life as they settle back into their armchair with a 6 pack of Miller and an 18” pizza.
Yet some people attend one Tony Robbins seminar, read one self-development book or hire one life coach and believe they’re a changed person. It may happen like that, but it’s highly unlikely without any additional work.
And before anybody thinks I’m suggesting hiring a life coach is a waste of time, let me explain what I mean. It doesn’t matter how brilliant a life coach is, if the client is sat at home in his PJ’s talking the talk but refusing to walk the walk and do what need to be done.
It’s like taking piano lessons for an hour once every couple of weeks but not practicing what you’ve learned. Save your money because you’re going to end up disappointed with your ivory tinkling skills.
There are somewhere in the region of 1,500 copies of ‘Know Yourself – Change Yourself’ floating around the ether. The book contains some of the best stuff I do including the forms I use with clients to work out values. I have taken on about half a dozen clients that had previously acquired the book. How many do you think had done the exercises?
Zero.
This isn’t a knock on them because trust me, I’ve been there. Not only that, but the fact they picked the phone up to talk to me demonstrates they really do want to do what’s necessary.
I’d also be prepared to wager that few people that have the book will have followed the exercises. It’s the kind of (normal) behavior that explains why second-hand gym equipment is always so cheap and available. People buy the weights and exercise bikes with all the best intentions, but they don’t follow through for any length of time.
In other words;
They Don’t Do What Successful People Do.
In ‘Outliers’ Malcolm Gladwell talks about the need to practice something for 10,000 hours to really master it. It’s an arbitrary figure that can be debated, but the principal is spot on.
Bearing that in mind, how long do you think you have been practicing your bad habits?
It’s a sobering thought when you think of it like that, but the fact remains you’re absolutely brilliant at being you and doing what you do. If it were made an Olympic event you’d be nailed on for gold
There’s a good chance you’ve seen the quite remarkable TED talk given by Jill Bolte Taylor. If not click here. If you have seen it, how many times? I’ve seen it three times and there are a number of other TED talks I’ve seen more than once. I just finished ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ for the third time and I have listened to ‘The Maverick Mindset’ by John Eliot at least four times and Jack Canfields ‘Success Principles’ three times.
The reason I’ve repeatedly gone back to those books and audios is because they resonated with me. It’s like great comedy, each time I go back I either learn something new I missed the previous times or embed something I didn’t. In the case of the Jill Bolte Taylor talk, I always feel inspired after watching it.
Who can’t benefit from some daily inspiration?
With websites like YouTube and TED it’s not difficult to find inspiration and learning without spending a fortune or indeed anything. If you can be bothered that is. If you want to do what is necessary.
Repetition, Repetition, Repetition
There isn’t a day goes by where I don’t listen, read or watch something to do with personal growth. I have an added advantage because I enjoy it, but the main reason is because I NEED to. And I use the word ‘need’ advisedly. This is what I was referring to with my post ‘Stacking The Deck’
Do You Think You Can Change?
I’m sure you’ve heard people saying such things as “People don’t change” “ A leopard never changes its spots” or “The apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree” and you’ve probably nodded your head sagely and agreed.
The only reason there is truth to such statements is because people believe there is truth to them.
Many people like to think radical personal growth isn’t possible, because that allows them to abdicate any responsibility to implement it. Why would anybody attempt something that they genuinely thought was impossible? It’s the easy option.
Fortunately, though, it’s a big fat lie propagated by people who want to see the status quo retained. There is a natural human aversion to change and if people can resist it and fool themselves into believing it’s not possible, then so much the better.
If you haven’t done, I would strongly encourage you to read the post ‘Stretching Your Comfort Zone’, to know more about why we resist change. Beware though, humor is liberally sprinkled throughout!
Where Do I Start
I’m sorry to say it, but the starting point has to be understanding yourself and what motivates you. You can’t do that without doing some work round your values.
Am I saying it’s impossible to move forward successfully without knowing your values? Absolutely not. Just like I wouldn’t say it’s impossible to row a boat upstream, but why would you bother if you didn’t have to?
Your values (towards and away from) will give you an insight into what motivates you. If you look at what’s important and realize you’re not meeting any of your core needs, then you’re well on your way to knowing what needs to be done.
What Is Your Higher Purpose?
When I ask people what is their reason for living, purpose for existence or higher purpose I usually get strange looks. There is a tendency to believe this is something you only get to find out after either wandering round the Himalayas in a saffron robe for a decade or at the end of your life.
Another belief that isn’t true.
What’s truly important to you? What do you want people to say about you when you’re gone? If you could write your own obituary, what would it say? That’s probably your higher purpose, right there.
It doesn’t have to be profound and it doesn’t necessarily have to involve other people, although it often will. It just has to make you feel like your life will have been worth living.
Most people want to make a difference. They want to touch people’s lives and think they lived a life worth living.
Successful people not only do what unsuccessful people don’t or won’t do, they also know WHY they’re doing it!
To answer James question fully would probably require a post in the region of 50,000 words. I haven’t got time to do that today so I’ll finish by saying this.
Clichéd though it may sound, your life is a story and YOU write it.
Every day you get up and you have the chance to write another chapter. You can either make it a rip snorting, page turning, blockbusting, bestseller with you as the hero. Or you can copy and past the same crap over from yesterday. The choice is yours.
Link Love: Some of you have asked me to update when I post a new YouTube post. Here is one entitled ‘How To Feel Better About Yourself” If you’d like me to link to a post of yours, let me know!
Hey Tim! I like this post a lot. I will say that your sense of humor is what brought me to this blog and really helped make me more open minded to the idea of personal development. Previously, I thought it was all very earnest, rather boring people or snake oil salesmen.
I admit, I haven’t done my exercises yet either! I need to make it a priority, because I really do want to do them because I am curious. I just have this bad habit of wanting the time to be perfect before I start something.
What I am trying now is starting with adding one small habit a month, a la Zen Habits. It’s working well for me, it’s not too big and overwhelming and I think success will build upon success.
Thank you for writing this blog. It is a great motivator and inspiration to me!
Tracys last blog post..Shangri-La Diet: Week 2
An excellent post. Actually changing, putting it in practice, is the most critical part. And the hardest.
Joely Blacks last blog post..It’s always the thing that’s right under your nose, and you can’t see it
Wow — what an excellent, necessary post.
I get so skeeved by the deluge of personal development hype on the web… it’s like the make-money-on-the-internet schemes that so many people think will be *the one* — the easy one, of course… but it’s kinda skeevier because promising people insta-happiness is worse than promising insta-cash.
I think we need to hear this more often — that it can’t be easy if it’s real.
Zoes last blog post..Community Contemplation: Get Paid For Doing What You Love?
I think it all boils down to what we were talking about yesterday.
Leverage
When you have enough leverage you can make any change. The amount of leverage needed will vary for most people.
Hence the exercise machines. Most people don’t have enough leverage because all they can see/feel is the short term pain not the long term gain.
Same with smoking. In fact with smoking many people with biggest leverage (the threat of death) continue to smoke.
At this very moment I am trying to increase my leverage to finish something very important that I have started. The point of balance has changed slightly so I need rediscover the leverage point. (god that sounds like a load of bollocks).
Anyway I think I subconsciously nicked this whole post from Tony Robbins. So awaken your giant within!
guys last blog post..Is there anybody out there?
Spot on.
One of the best analogies I’ve ever read regarding making positive change was by a Japanese man named Koichi Tohei.
In his book, Ki in Daily Life, he likens the process to putting drops of water into a cup of tea. A few drops isn’t going to make any difference but continue to add drops and eventually what you end up with isn’t the same cup of tea.
Marc – Welshscribes last blog post..Open Discussion: Should We Under Promise and Over Deliver?
@ Watch the video I linked to and then change that language to “I want to” ;-)
@ Joely – Yeh but I honestly don’t know anybody more committed to change than you. Maybe some people are on the same level, but none better.
A Zoe – Insta-happiness eh? I like it, I feel a post coming on. One thing I’d add. I do think it can be easy for a few people, but sometimes they never bother trying and so don’t find out.
@ Guy – I agree 100@ and I nearly went down the whole leverage route but that’s another post for another day!
@ Marc – Great metaphor – thanks for sharing!
I agree completely with what you’ve said here.
AND I think there’s more. Perhaps that’s what you were referring to when you mentioned 50,000 words!
But I know plenty of people (including myself on occasion as well as some of my clients), who want to change very much, but who find themselves undermined and derailed by their fears, over and over again.
It seems to me that wanting isn’t always enough. Or perhaps it’s the degree of wanting, and whether it’s enough to overcome the level of fear involved.
For me, it’s a commitment, over and over and over again, to what’s true. What’s really true, capital-T True, not what I think or believe. Of course, recognizing that my thoughts and beliefs are all untrue is a big head start. ;-)
Graces last blog post..Make it insanely easy
“Or you can copy and past the same crap over from yesterday.”
That sounds a lot like those soap series. Who wants to be a soap? But then again, I also wonder who would waste their time watching that crap in the first place.
I totally agree with your post, it’s a great description of the process of change. Without intention and without work it’s simply not going to happen. No pain no gain. And that pain is what’s holding people back. Even thinking about how to implement change, or discovering what change they desire is often too much work=pain already. Let alone really doing it!
Without the willingness to work on change it’s not going to happen. But that in turn can also be a very unsatisfactory observation, seeing the potential and the possibilities in people, yet being unable to inspire them to unleash it. Makes you want to kick their ass! Tell them that even if they do more work, they will feel so much better than they do now.
_____________________
Hmm, how about that? Do more work and feel better…
-*-*-ZAP-*-*-
Hey! As The World Turns is on…
Lodewijks last blog post..On Blogging: A Living Memoir Of My Path
You know those movies where the bad guy was so predictible- he was nasty to the bone and then in the end, his heart came out and he saved the little girl from drowning- you were not expecting it and it was even cooler because of it. Well you are that bad guy usually. ok this did not come out as I meant it. LOL – I mean the direct serious message was so cool because it was unexpected- we expect value with a smile and we got value with a tear- long story short- we love you man!
Jays last blog post..How to Save the World
Hey Tim,
Thanks for answering my questions. I like that you mention some of the same thoughts that I have myself – that people resist change, that they aren’t serious about it, that they just say it and run on to something else, that they want it (maybe) but aren’t willing to do the work. They just don’t want it badly enough.
But that brings me to a commentator above who mentioned leverage, and how smokers don’t quit because they only see short-term pain, not long term gain.
I’m not sure how I feel about that.
I think urgency has a larger part to play than leverage. I think fear has a larger part to play than leverage. I think experience has a larger part to play than leverage.
In fact, I think long-term gain is way down on people’s lists of priorities unless they want something DEEPLY and REALLY BADLY.
It is incredibly difficult to work towards something that we don’t know. Okay, sure, the long term benefits of quitting smoking are there, the short-term pain of quitting is problematic, but NEITHER are my reasons for not quitting.
(Yes, I know, filthy disgusting deadly habit, piss off, it’s only four cigarettes a day.)
My reasons for not quitting is that I am not afraid enough of cancer. How can I be? I’ve never had it. I’m not afraid of emphysema. I’ve never seen anyone suffer from it. I’m not afraid of my kids losing me. I can’t even imagine this sort of situation where they watch me die.
I mean, on a logical level, I KNOW these things. I CAN imagine them, to some degree. But I think unless a person literally has an event or experience that jolts them into that deep, deep desire to change (like falling in a mine shaft, Tim?), it just doesn’t happen.
Or rather, it does, but it’s tougher.
Alright. Arguments? Tell me why I’m wrong :)
James Chartrand – - Men with Penss last blog post..The Single Freelancer Policy that Saves Your Soul
@James Go to your nearest heart and lung ward. Ask to see the fluid they drain from the lungs of patients. Bear in mind 2 things:
1) a healthy body naturally produces about a teaspoon of this fluid a day
2) it should be clear and have the consistency of honey.
Burn the image to your mind and then picture your lungs are on course to doing the same thing.
@ Marc – Now, see? THAT, I can get. I bet if I had an EXPERIENCE that would scare the crap out of me (urgency) to want to not be that lung patient (desire), then I’m on the right course for quitting.
But for someone to say, “Hey, quit smoking. It’s bad for you.”
Yeah, yeah. I know.
James Chartrand – - Men with Penss last blog post..The Single Freelancer Policy that Saves Your Soul
@ James So when is your appointment to your local lung ward?
Aww come on, it’s National No Smoking Day here in the UK. I’m allowed to be pushy.
@ Jay – Was that comment meant for this post or the last one?
@ Grace – You are right, wanting is not enough. Wanting is the starting point. Some people can also become addicted to wanting something and don’t like moving out of that state into the having.
@ Lodewijk – Ah the old ass kicking approach, I like it ;-) Strangely enough many people think that is what coaches do and it couldn’t be further from the truth. Sometimes I’d like to do it, bit it seldom works and wouldn’t get me many referrals. OTOH if the results were good, maybe it would.
@ James – All those things you mention ARE leverage. Leverage is whatever you want it to be. It’s the thing that pushes you, cajoles you or motivates you toward where you want it to be.
There are lost of NLP processes that can help you quit smoking, primarily the Swish pattern, 6 Step Reframe and Submodalities. But they are all useless if you are stuck in wanting to want to or have the belief that change is impossible. As Robert Anton Wilson says “What the thinker thinks, the prover proves”
Also human beings are totally crap at predicting future feelings, desire, emotions etc which is why you’re not swayed by people saying “You’re going to die a horrible death!”
Maybe thinking of setting an example to your kids and taking Marcs advice may be enough?
@ Marc – Thanks a lot for stepping in there! Good advice, if he takes it ;-)
Oh, yes, so true that wanting can become the identity instead of the motivation!
Then it becomes, I’m someone who wants … but for whatever reason never has …
Painful place, but very common.
Graces last blog post..Meditation
@Tim, you crack me up. I have been working on that, especially since I realized it’s my four year old’s biggest problem. He convinces himself he NEEDS to do or have something and if it doesn’t happen, oh boy. So, since reading about you talking to Jay about that on his blog, I’ve been working with him. You are now a parenting coach!
I finally got a chance to watch the Jill Bolte Taylor talk, that was amazing. Her passion is really inspiring. I should download all of the talks so I can watch them on the big tv.
Tracys last blog post..Shangri-La Diet: Week 2
No no no. Not should, I WANT to. Want!
Tracys last blog post..Shangri-La Diet: Week 2
@James and @Marc
I’m not sure the scare tactics will work. I recently read Buyology by Martin Lindstrom and in it he describes that smokers actually feel an elevated desire to smoke when they see the graphic health warning images they print on cigarette packs these days. They didn’t say so, but their brains did through funcional MRI and EEG.
The NLP processes can be very helpful in tricking your brain in another feeling towards smoking. Probably even better than the scare tactics.
And as far as predicting the future is concerned. I saw a great TED talk about that too. Can’t remember which one though…I guess I’ll have to head over there to find out.
Lodewijks last blog post..On Blogging: A Living Memoir Of My Path
Tim,
Value on so many levels. First, the quality of your previous post is exactly why I have always believed it is so important to tell a story to get your message across. I could feel the dirt in the mine, the sweat building under my collar. That is why blogs are killing the newspapers. Imagination + Purpose = Value.
Second, Jill Bolte Taylor’s talk was riveting. Thanks for sharing. I fail to remember oftentimes that there is that split second gap between stimulus and response that is a decision that we can make. While I constantly work this point for self defense instruction and emergency response I am occasionally buffaloed in my personal life by this.
Desire, want, will,believe, faith…. call it what you want, its a fight worth taking up to mine that gap, and stay out of the mineshaft. Thanks for a refreshing post.
Found it:
Dan Gilbert How we are deceived by our own miscalculations of the future
Lodewijks last blog post..On Blogging: A Living Memoir Of My Path
@ Lode – Miscalculations of the future? I don’t even know what DAY it is. Then there was that time change, and I can’t tell what freakin’ HOUR it is. Now I have to worry about my future? ;)
@ Tim – I see what you mean by leverage. I understood an earlier comment to mean that the leverage formula to desire change is “long-term gain outweighs short-term pain”, to which I disagreed. What you say makes sense.
@ Lode again – I can honestly tell you that when my friends and families (nonsmokers) mention how I should quit and get that disgusted look on their face or push me as if I don’t GET that it’s unhealthy, I want to light up 20 at once.
I still think Marc’s idea was good. I’m about three hours away from any hospital who would have that kind of service, so… any other ideas?
James Chartrand – - Men with Penss last blog post..The Single Freelancer Policy that Saves Your Soul
@James – Just step into your right hemisphere and the future doesn’t even exist anymore. Neither does worry by the way ;)
(you did watch Jill Bolte Taylor’s talk right?)
Lodewijks last blog post..On Blogging: A Living Memoir Of My Path
@Lodewijk That’s an interesting theory. How do they know it’s not association of the health warning with a cigarette box and hence a cigarette or some other form of association?
@James I once saw a video of a heart apparently removed from a smoker and they squeezed the gunk out of the arteries. I can still see the grayish-yellow slime now over ten years later.
I think the video went on to dissect a “healthy” lung and a smoker’s lung. They were scraping some sort of black goo from the inside of the smoker’s lung.
It’s no wonder I dropped out of Biology or why a cigarette has never passed my lips.
@Lodewijk – Scare tactics can work, it depends on the person and they definitely aren’t sure to work.
I’m also not sure about tricking the brain. What you’re doing most of the time is allowing it to think differently. Thought patterns usually occur organically and what we’re doing with NLP is trying to intervene and take control over them.
It’s only a minor thing, but there you go.
Love Daniel Gilbert btw, thanks a lot for the link.
You are kicking ass this week, Tim. Another great post. I really do believe people can change, but I don’t think it’s easy. And you’re right, because I believe that, it’s what I see and experience.
I also think it’s important to look at why we don’t make the changes we say we want to make. Often, fear that we will fail, or we can’t, or we’re not good enough can get in the way of us going for what we want in life. Other times though, I have struggled to understand why I haven’t followed through on a set goal. When I really want something I move heaven and earth to get it. So, what’s the problem?
I have a feeling the answer is because I just don’t care enough about it. I might like the idea that I want to make this change, but in truth I don’t want it enough to do the hard yards. Like with exercise and dietary changes. I hate to deprive myself and I hate rules. I also like to enjoy life and have fun with it, not take things too seriously. The end result of this is I have trouble saying “No” to the chocolate cake or the extra glass of wine, and all my exercise regimes end up petering out as soon as they come up against any reasonable opposition.
A few weeks ago I decided to try and combat this by being active everyday. Getting rid of the notion of ‘exercise time’, and just accepting that I need to move my butt every day of my life if I want to stay healthy. So far this seems to be working and I feel quite good. But then it’s only been 3.5 weeks, so I won’t be screaming SUCCESS yet.
Kelly@SHE-POWER
Tim, I’m pretty sure you don’t need this but just in case, I wanted to put my opposite-to-James’ view about humour. Of course I loved your mineshaft post, but I love the humour too. It makes the reading more rivetting, easier to absorb.
And love the obituary point. Never thought of that, it’s brilliant.
Hilarys last blog post..Personal peace 101
I use to think that life, real life, was for other people and my job was to watch and wish I was one of the chosen people who got to live like that. Then someone knocked me around a bit and I got it. I get to decide the life I want. (I know- duh?) Since that epiphany I have had so much more joy and adventure even in the small things in life. I have done more and taken more risk (good risk) which has given my life more meaning. I would never go back to the porch, watching others do what I wanted to do.
I actually enjoy your sense of humor. It’s not my style but I appreciate your uniqueness. I know that I’d never be able to find another blog like yours. Your authenticity comes through!
Evelyn Lims last blog post..My Personal Creed
Hi Tim,
I had read an article recently saying that why the gurus share their skills with others and why aren’t they scare of the amount of people entering their field and competing with them. It is said that most of the people who attended the guru’s seminar or bought their products, most will not follow up on the steps share by the gurus. That is why most of the people will actually not turn out to be a competitor after all.
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
Vincents last blog post..Are You Using The 80/20 Principle In Your Life?
Change is choice and until people are aware that they have a choice, they won’t make changes.
The challenge of course being that when we recognize that how we react to life is a choice, then we must take responsibility for our choices and our actions.
Much better to stay unaware and unwilling to choose and change. Especially in current culture where no one takes personal responsibility for anything (although I did hear that Obama took responsibility for not screening some of his nominees properly when they resigned right after being nominated. Maybe it’s a sign…)
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..Making suckiness good: Lab Rats Week 1
@ Kelly – Thanks for noticing I have got my ass kicking pen out this week. That’s very astute of you ;-) And of course you’re right with the rest of it. If people are happy with their lot, but think they could be marginally more happy, that isn’t much motivation to do a fat lot.
@ Hilary – Thanks for the kind words. If I’m going to be honest the obituary thing is an old life coaching trick that has been around a long time.
@ Laurie – That’s brilliant! Some people go through their entire life and never get to that realization.
@ Evelyn – LOL, thanks for that. What is your style?
@ Vincent – That’s an interesting point and not one I had ever considered.
@ Alex – My self imposed news blackout means I didn’t know that. Good for BO! What unfortunate initials though.
Tim, whenever I find it difficult to change I think about something I read many years ago by Richard Dawkins. It was an argument about evolution that basically went: No matter how big of a gap between starting point and ending point, you can always imagine a series of tiny steps that will get you there. The point being that since everyone allows for change (micro-evolution) that macro-evolution was just a bunch of micro-evolution strung together.
Anyway I have found this technique invaluable in managing my personal change, especially when the hill seems so high and insurmountable. I think back on those words and simply imagine a series of tiny steps that will get me there. It works.
Thanks, this was a quality article.
Stephen – Rat Race Traps last blog post..Achieve Success by Building Trust
Recovery in regards to drugs, alcohol, miscellaneous addictions, negative behaviors, etc. is really another word for change.
My thought on 12-step programs has always been ‘If everyone that needs to recover would attend meetings – we would fill stadiums. If everyone that wants to recover would attend meetings – we would fill auditoriums. But only the people that are willing to recover attend, and that is why we barely fill church basements.’
In my experience, the discomfort I bring upon myself can be my greatest motivation to become willing to change. When the discomfort of not changing surpasses the discomfort of changing, why not try something different? Oftentimes it’s ego that keeps us in self-inflicted misery.
Thanks for the post. I agree 100%.
@ Stephen – I like that, and of course it’s bang on by Dawkins. It’s similar to the how do you eat an elephant thing/joke? One bite at a time.
@ Nanewcomer – Interesting picture you painted there and that does indeed bring it home. OTOH, I wonder what would have if a collective realization were to take place? To paraphrase Roy Schneider in ‘Jaws’ “You’re gonna need bigger church basements”
Great post, Tim!
I really noticed over the last couple of weeks the principle you talk about here. No matter how many visualisations, affirmations, and other thingy-ations you do, you won’t really change, until you take ACTION. And we humans are incredibly lazy when it comes to taking new kinds of action :)
In fact, I’m developing a program for my blog’s readers where I will help them take ACTION for 7 days straight. Every day, I will share one aspect of the most profound stuff I know about personal growth… and then give them a small action to take relating to that day’s topic. I believe that helping them take action (no matter how small) for 7 days straight will be far more useful than any single great blog post could be.
I’ll see how that works :)
Vlad Dolezals last blog post..Co-operate, Don’t Compete
@ Vlad- Thanks for the feedback and let us know how you get on with your experiment.
i aggree with your reasoning for including humour. only works for certain styles of writing though but don’t think you should change what works. i guess there are preferences in reading just like there are different writing styles and trying to please everybody leaves everybody with mediocrity.
i’m inclined to say wanting to change is the reason no true change has happened – specially since i’ve been immersing myself in the sedona method lately, although that’s the paradox i guess.
i think the intention behind the change is what’s important. it’s okay to want to change as long as you’re okay with things if they don’t change. getting to a point of indifference because setting goals for change only to not realise them can make things worse.
the other commentators are all on point, specially in terms of leverage as far as enacting change goes.
think it’s great motivation all-round though.
respect
alex
Alexs last blog post..How to Focus: Get Things Done and Be Free
Six tips for prodding yourself to do something you don’t want to do…
How many times each day do you try to work yourself up to tackle some undesirable task? If you’re like me – several times.Here are some strategies that I’ve used:
1. Put yourself in jail. If you’re working on something that’s goi…