The Meaning Of Life Explained
In May I ran a post called A Buddhist Plain and Simple in which I interviewed Bodhipaksa the highly entertaining, Twittering, Blogging Buddhist from Scotland that now lives in the US. It created some great feedback and a number of people have asked me if I intended doing a follow up. The answer is a rather obvious yes, and here it is. If you have any questions of your own feel free to drop them in the comments field and hopefully I can tempt Bodhipaksa back to answer. On the other hand, if they’re as flippant as some of the ones I asked him, he may not bother.
A very quick update on How To Be Rich and Happy. The book is finished and off to the typesetters. There will be a very special offer to buy the book two weeks prior to the full launch and at a hugely discounted price. This will run for 48 hours from 22nd September. Stay tuned for more information because I will only be announcing this on my blog and to my subscriber list, I will not be using social media such as Twitter to promote this. Also, here is a sneak preview of the website. It’s a long way from being complete, but will give you an idea.
Anyway, enough of that, let’s get on with the interview.
Tim: You’ll be amazed to know I got into a bit of a spat recently with the Law of Attraction devotees after I said The Law of Attraction Is A Con. During the conversation on a message board somebody confidently announced that Buddhists believe in the Law of Attraction. Is that true? If not, what’s your personal take?
Bodhipaksa: I think there’s a grain of truth in the idea of the Law of Attraction. Our thoughts can affect what we notice or ignore in the world. Say you buy a blue Subaru. Suddenly you start noticing blue Subarus all over the place! It’s as if you’ve magically attracted them. You’ve made them manifest! It’s a miracle! Well, more likely they were there all the time and you just didn’t pay them any attention. Then when you bought a blue Subaru, blue Subarus became significant to you and so your mind started picking them out rather than ignoring them as just “cars.” I like saying “blue Subaru.” Don’t you? Tim: Very much so, who doesn’t?
Similarly, if you’ve set your mind on something you’re more likely to notice opportunities that you’d have ignored before.
So that’s what I think is the grain of truth.
Apart from that I think its largely self-fulfilling prophecy and hucksterism.
Tim: I have said many times that my biggest goal in life is to sell 1,000,000 copies of my forthcoming book ‘How To Be Rich and Happy’ The reality is, that’s a big fat lie, my biggest goal in life is to not fear death. Do you fear death and what does death mean to you?
Bodhipaksa: Death holds no fear for me. But the thought of actually dying makes me rather anxious. I actually almost died on my first day in the US. I was invited on a river-rafting trip with friends of the people I was staying with. The river was very high and our guide was over-confident. Not a good combination.
We went right over the middle of a waterfall, and then got sucked backwards under it. I found myself spinning around and around about six feet underwater. I was clutching my paddle because someone had said that if you fall in the water you should hold onto your paddle. I suspect now that this wasn’t a safety tip but was to avoid losing the deposit on the paddle. Swimming with a paddle is not easy.
A couple of times I popped up to the surface and got a quick gulp of air before being pulled under again. I realized I was going to die and was surprised how unexpectedly it was all happening. I always assumed I was going to get some warning. And I wasn’t afraid, but I was embarrassed.
Moving to the US seemed like a really cool thing to do up to the point where I was spinning around and around under a waterfall. Anyway, the last time but one that I popped up and grabbed a lungful of air, I saw one of the other people from the boat, and my first thought was to ask her how she was doing. I didn’t have time to hear the answer because I got sucked under again. Afterwards I was surprised that I’d had the presence of mind to have concern for someone else.
Anyway, it seems like a waste of a good brush with death, because it seemed like dying was going to be pretty easy and not at all scary, but of course I didn’t die. When the real thing comes I hope I can remember that experience and not scream like a teenage girl at a Jonas Brothers’ concert.
Tim: Did you ever used to watch Blackadder? If so, did you like it? (Note for my American friends, in my not so humble opinion, Blackadder is the greatest comedy series ever shown on TV, yes, even better than Fawlty Towers, although that runs a close second).
Bodhipaksa: I never saw the first series and I missed the last episode of Blackadder Goes Forth. Apart from that I saw them all, and I’d agree with your estimation. Fawlty Towers was also hilarious. I recently had a chance to watch selected episodes of both those shows on a flight to Dubai. It’s almost enough to make you take an Emirates flight just for the joy of watching classic BBC comedy. (Tim: The first season of Blackadder was definitely the worst one, but the last ever program (until they made a Christmas special that was) had me in tears. Very poignant and funny)
Tim: I spend quite a lot of time helping clients work with goals and asking them to dream big, Is daydreaming the antithesis of mindfulness, or is it possible to daydream mindfully?
Bodhipaksa: It’s possible to daydream mindfully. I do it all the time as a creative activity. It seems some people can’t do mindful daydreaming, and just daydream. The “mindful” component is that there’s some part of the mind evaluating the contents and direction of thought, and saying “Oooo, that’s a good idea, let’s file that for later.” Some people just can’t maintain that background awareness. There’s a great article on all this by Jonah Lehrer on the Boston Globe. It’s well worth a read (Tim: I love Lehrer’s book ‘ How We Decide‘ probably my favorite of the last year or so)
Tim: I was listening to Jack Kornfield on the Inner Art of Meditation talking about an experience meditating whilst a fly wondered around on his upper lip for over 10 minutes.
I’ve heard other Buddhist teachers say to ignore itches, pains, noises, small earthquakes etc whilst meditating. Or even to use those things to help you focus. However, I have very dodgy knees and back disc problems that means sometimes if I don’t move, I get a lot of pain.
Do they really mean for people to push through irrespective of the long or even short-term consequences?
Bodhipaksa: I think we need to learn to distinguish between pain or discomfort that’s not going to cause long-term damage and the kind of pain we get when our menisci are being slowly ripped off.
I’ve sat with itches so bad that it felt like a millipede was burrowing under my skin, and I’ve sat with bad muscular pain, but if I thought I was going to damage my body I’d move.
Most people are much more inclined to fidget at the slightest provocation, but for macho meditators I’d suggest being sensitive to doing something bad to the body by trying to sit with really bad pain.
Tim: Margaret Thatcher; evil witch from hell or evil witch from a place just a bit worse than hell that hasn’t been discovered yet? Ok, that may have been a somewhat loaded question, so Margaret Thatcher; evil witch from hell, or highly principled lady that raised the profile of the UK worldwide and kicked the Argies arses for stepping on our rock?
Bodhipaksa: Even at the time she was in power I never thought she was evil. I thought she was often utterly misguided and had a skewed sense of priorities, but I think she did some good as well.
I can even think of at least one good thing to say about George W. Bush! How spiritually advanced am I! (Tim: Hmm, I knew I should have held my ground and demanded the Dalai Lama)
Tim: Do you have a favorite Buddhist joke?
Bodhipaksa: Yes.
Here it is.
Q: How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb.
A: Not two.
Funny, huh? (Tim: Not really, no.)
Tim: I recently read the brilliant ‘When Things Fall Apart’ by Pema Chodron. Do all Buddhists talk about shitting on mountains, or just the female ones?
Bodhipaksa: I haven’t read that book, but by coincidence I’ve written a lot about defecation in the book I’m working on at the moment. It’s a book about the Six Element reflection, which is a way of appreciating the “flow” of the elements through our bodies as a way of realizing impermanence and as a way of realizing what we do (and don’t) identify with as “ourselves.”
One aspect of that flow is the way food flows into the body, flows around the body, and flows out of the body. The word flow here is being used metaphorically — I’m not advocating a liquid diet or diarrhea. Just in case you were wondering.
But, woah! I did not want to have inside my head the image of Pema Chodron defecating on a mountainside! Can I book a session of hypnotherapy to have that image removed? (Tim: Too late, it’s in there for ever, hypnotherapy won’t save you now bud)
Tim: Mac or PC?
Bodhipaksa: Mac, Mac, Mac! (I have three, not counting my iPhone). (see, Buddhists can be cool)
Tim: Do you have a set meditation schedule that you stick to come what may?
Bodhipaksa: I meditate most days at 11:00 AM, and I sit with a friend of mine in Washington, using Skype. He’s pretty isolated so it gives him some support for his practice. And it’s supportive for me too. But we don’t manage to sit together every day, and with two kids I don’t manage to meditate every day. I think that’s fine. I tell meditation students that any amount of meditation is better than none.
Sometimes people have the idea that if they can’t do it daily they’re failing, and if they’re failing they’re inclined to give up altogether. Tim: That is a great point and I wish some people would adopt that approach with things like weight loss, quitting smoking etc and not see the occasional indiscretion as a reason to give up up completely.
Tim: When I listen to guided meditations like your own, I’m often struck by how similar they are to hypnosis. Have you ever done any hypnosis training or considered the similarities between the two?
Bodhipaksa: I’ve never been taught how to do hypnosis but I found some of the principles in The Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson to be useful in teaching meditation. I’d love to learn more. I think of hypnosis as being, essentially, just effective communication.
Tim: Do you think the world is becoming more or less tolerant?
Bodhipaksa: Probably both. I don’t think there’s any clear way to evaluate such a question.
Tim: What do you think is the biggest popular misunderstanding with Buddhism?
Bodhipaksa: Probably that’s it’s something exotic and “not for me.” I think there are some basic principles in Buddhism that are to do with noticing what your mind does and exercising some wise choice so that you don’t end up doing things (especially thinking) that causes you suffering.
I think that’s the core of Buddhist practice and applicable to everyone. But people see robes and hear chanting and think about all these lists and think that it’s all more complicated than it actually is and that it’s not something they could get into. Or they’re already into something — some religion or philosophy — and think that they’re covered. I think that’s a shame, because Buddhist teaching and practice has a lot to offer, even to people committed to another spiritual tradition.
Tim: You recently brought out the excellent meditation CD ‘Still The Mind’, and I encourage anybody who hasn’t done so, to check it out. What plans have you got for the future in terms of products, retreats etc?
Bodhipaksa: Thanks for the kind comment.
I have a new double CD coming out next month from Sounds True. It’s called “The Wisdom of the Breath” and it’s ways of using an awareness of the breath to change how you see yourself and your relationship with the world. And I’m working on that Six Elements book that doesn’t have a title yet. That’s to be done by December and published next fall.
Beyond that I have plans for an audiobook on mantra chanting (just to reinforce the idea that Buddhist practice is strange and exotic!).
We just adopted a baby boy, and so my ability to lead or attend retreats is fairly circumscribed for a while. But I do want to do some more face-to-face teaching. I love teaching classes, but I had to put a lot of that on hold after adopting my first child, who’s now almost three. I plan to do some meditation courses at my local Dharma center (www.Aryaloka.org) for people who are relatively experienced in meditation. The focus would be on trying to provoke the arising of insight.
Tim: What’s the meaning of life?
Bodhipaksa: I think the meaning of life is to find out how the universe operates and to align yourself with that. For example, everything is impermanent. That’s how things are — it’s how the universe operates. But we don’t really want to accept that because it means accepting that we’re impermanent and the things we love are impermanent.
And our senses and minds aren’t really set up as they come out of the box, so to speak, to appreciate change. Just Google “change blindness” to see how hard a job we have even noticing that the person we’ve been talking to has been replaced in mid-conversation. So how much harder is to to notice that we have changed in mid-conversation? (Tim: BTW, if you doubt what Bodhipaksa says watch this)
We have to train ourselves to notice impermanence and to accept it rather than fight it. That’s what it means to “align ourselves with the way the universe operates”. The universe is telling us in every moment that how we think things are isn’t how they actually are, but we don’t want to listen. Until, though, we radically embrace the idea of our own impermanence, we’re struggling to find security by seeking permanence in the midst of a universal condition of change. It’s through embracing impermanence that we find true security. Real security comes from not holding on.
Alternatively: life [līf]
noun
1 the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death (Tim: Smart arsed Buddhist)
Check out more on Bodhipaksa by vsiting his site Bodhi Tree Swaying – Random Thoughts From a Western Buddhist
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Comment by Moonpie on 9 September 2009:
Thanks for this, Tim: I’m a Bodhip fan, thanks to the previous stuff you’ve shared. Good stuff…better stuff…the best stuff on earth just got better. You know, like that—only better. ~m
Comment by Jake | Revive Your Life on 9 September 2009:
Tim,
Very deep yet it was good to understand Bodhipaksa mode of thought with this. Thanks.
Jake
Comment by JJ Jalopy on 10 September 2009:
Q: Why don’t Buddhists vacuum the corners of the room?
A: Because they don’t have any attachments.
Ahem.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 10 September 2009:
@ Moonpie – I’m sure he’ll love to know he has groupies known as Bodhips!
@ Jake – You’re welcome
@ JJJ – I may have to beat you to a pulp for that.
Comment by Dena on 10 September 2009:
You know, Tim, I think the whole interview is brilliant. Great questions, great answers. The bit that I like best is: “I think the meaning of life is to find out how the universe operates and to align yourself with that. For example, everything is impermanent. That’s how things are — it’s how the universe operates. But we don’t really want to accept that because it means accepting that we’re impermanent and the things we love are impermanent.” Perhaps you felt the same, hence the title.
I read a book as a young girl called ‘A Separate Peace.’ There is a quote in there, “Nothing endures, not a tree, not love.” Even as a young girl it struck me intensely. I wrote it out on a sheet of paper and hung it up on my bedroom wall where it remained for years. I think that until we accept that notion, we can not experience true joy. We need to understand that we do not need anything – not trees, not love. We need to exist and to spread love, knowledge, peace. There is nothing else.
Thank you for sharing this, my friend.
-Dena
Evolution
Comment by Haider on 11 September 2009:
Tim, Bodhipaksa, a very entertaining interview. Thank you both.
A question for Tim: What’s your take on Bodhipaksa’s explanation of the meaning of life, given your belief in subjective reality?
I believe aligning our thoughts and feelings to the nature of reality to be the essence of personal growth, but from what I understood from you (and forgive me if I’ve misunderstood your views) is that you don’t believe there is such a thing as an objective reality. We create the rules and so, essentially, there is no difference between “how we think things are” and “how they actually are.”
Also, is it safe to admit that I didn’t get the Buddhist joke? :P
Comment by Patricia on 11 September 2009:
This is my favorite post I have read on your blog – thank you
I loved the Buddhist vacuum joke and missed the point on the interview joke.
My Mum was from the UK and she pronounce Buddhist as BUD hiss t. That was how I thought it was exotic and strange? and I was relieved when this fellow talked about pain – I did get a failing grade in Kindergarten for not sitting cross legged (Indian Style was what we said then) but I still can not do anything on my knees or bend my left leg – so I meditated in a straight backed chair with my feet on the floor. I have had to reassure so many that you can connect from that vantage point. I am 60 one would think I would have some authority from age alone?
I am now going to connect with your links and explore some more.
Looking forward to your book because I am a 60 year old woman who needs some funds and it is not happening…
Comment by Laurie on 11 September 2009:
Nice interview Tim!
Bodhipaksa- I purchased “Still the Mind” after Tim talked about it here on his blog. I have really enjoyed it. I am a newby at meditation and it was great at teaching me how to do it. Thanks!
Comment by Jade Craven on 11 September 2009:
:P Maybe he’s taking the piss out of the standard joke response, where it says ‘two. One to change it and one to not change it’
:-) I love my joke books.
Comment by Grace on 11 September 2009:
Great interview! thank you to both of you.
The joke: “not two” refers to nonduality.
I laughed. :)
Comment by Si on 11 September 2009:
“Not two”, or “nondual” means a sense of unity with all there is.
You’re welcome.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 11 September 2009:
@ Dena -= Thanks for reading
@ Haider – Oh man, I dunno, I’m all over the place on this one, which is why I brought the expert in!
@ Patricia – Glad you liked it, thanks for the feedback.
@ Laurie – Thanks!
@ Jade – A Buddhist taking the piss? Surely not ;-)
@ Grace – You smart arse, well done!
Comment by tomawesome on 11 September 2009:
I think the joke punchline “not two” is a play on words – “not to” as in don’t change the light bulb. The light bulb if fine as it is. Grace (above) may also be right…
Comment by Si on 11 September 2009:
As a followup. Someone one said that explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog.
When you’re finished, you may understand the frog better, but you no longer have a frog (just bits spread out on the table)
My apologies Bodhipaksa, for dissecting your frog.
Comment by Amit Sodha on 16 September 2009:
Hey Tim,
Fantastic interview and I’m all for having much more humour in blog posts! I only just found your blog recently and I’m loving it! :-)
Amit
Comment by Tim Brownson on 17 September 2009:
Thanks guys and Si, I wish you’d not told me that!
Comment by Vancouver Life Coach on 22 September 2009:
And I thought I knew a fair amount about Buddhism! You should re-title this article “Things you don’t know, a Buddhist speaks”
Thanks for sharing!
Cheers