Thanks
As you may or may not know, I have been back in the UK for the last couple of days. I have to come back a couple of times per year to remind me why I left. Family and friends notwithstanding, it seems like each visit takes me less time before I’m thinking, “What time is the earliest I can check in?”
I’m not a fan of cold weather, in fact I hate it with a passion normally reserved for people that use the word hate. It’s not just that climate that I dislike; it’s the current climate of negativity that I find just as exhausting. It seems worse than in the US.
Yesterday I trotted off to the local mall to buy a few presents. Most people in the UK have heard of Meadowhall at Sheffield. It was one of the first US-style out of town malls to open in the UK in the 80’s. I thought with such a biting, crippling, mother of recessions things would be quieter than usual. In reality it would have been difficult to be further from the truth if I’d been listening to an election debate whilst reading an Anne Coulter book. It was absolutely rammed.
We took almost 20 minutes to park and then all the store were teeming with people to the extent that I’d had enough after 20 minutes. I knew exactly what I wanted (mainly stuff I can’t get in the US) so I zeroed in on that and ignored everything else as much as possible.
I’d arranged to meet my sister at 3.00pm and I was done by 1.50pm. So I sat myself on a bench and watched the world and its carrier bags go by. Was this really November 28, 2008? Bear in mind for those of you not in the UK, there is no Black Friday here. Our equivalent day the mental shopfest that is Black Friday is the day after Christmas Day, Boxing Day.
I got to thinking about all the presents that were being bought. How many people were diving head first into an unnecessary mountain of debt in an attempt to say ‘thank you’ to a loved on? Quite frankly, it is necessary? Does anybody gauge the love of another by the size of the present? More to the point, if they do, are they really worth worrying about, even if they’re family? To my mind there are 1,001 ways to say thanks to somebody in words, gestures and actions that don’t involve incurring debt.
The last couple of posts, (especially this one that caught me completely by surprise) I’ve written have elicited some brilliant comments, better than the original post in fact. I know some people that subscribe via e-mail or RSS and don’t comment themselves get to miss these. That’s a shame because that is the area that the debate often opens up, and it’s where on occasions I have to admit to getting it wrong!
The point of this post is to say a heartfelt thanks to everybody that takes the time to comment here. Of course I am very grateful for those of you that just prefer to read and absorb too, but if that is you, I’d encourage you to click through from time to time to see what’s happening.
Link Love:
I left my link love file at home so here’s a self promoting link to a random post that I was used as a guest post at the quite brilliant and highly amusing Put Things Off.
If you haven’t read the very free “Don’t Laugh At The Life Coach” (5th book down) this imho is one my my more amusing posts. It’s about my experience going shopping the day after Thanksgiving last year.
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Comment by Justin on 29 November 2008:
I agree the best thanks are the genuine ones – not necessarily the ones that involve money. Thanks so much for the great posts and for helping all of us to reflect on what is really important – don’t go into debt!! Haha. Thanks again.
Comment by Laurie on 29 November 2008:
You are welcome Tim. And THANK YOU for giving me tons to think about since I started reading your blog. Thanks for the extra you have given to me personally. Your heart is huge. Big Hugs to you.
This year the fun gift I am giving is digital frames. I am giving one to my dad and one to my mother in law. With both frames I am pre-loading them with family photos from years gone by. They’ll be able to see us all grow up over again. That may be too much to bare but I thought it would be a fun gift to give.
Comment by Hilary on 29 November 2008:
Oh yes, climate of negativity. My most recent partner is english and as I used to say to him, ‘There is the right amount of whingeing, and then there’s too much.’ We all have a level and beyond that we start to feel uncomfortable, and his level was way beyond mine.
Anyway, you’re most welcome and thank YOU. It’s fun here.
Hilarys last blog post..Passion in the soul that has everything
Comment by Melissa on 30 November 2008:
I know that my loved ones don’t expect anything out of me, but it is a lot of fun for me to shop for and give gifts to them. It makes me feel much better than shopping for myself. I’m not real big on GETTING gifts though… It bothers me sometimes…
Anyway, Thank you for sharing with us wisdom that you could probably charge us for. We appreciate it!
Comment by shalu wasu on 30 November 2008:
what you say is so true!
there are times when you feel lousy after receiving an expensive gift because you know the person has put no thought…and at other times, just a gesture works so much better than a gift!
Comment by Writer Dad on 30 November 2008:
It really is so ridiculous. I suggested to my father this past weekend, that we do a ten dollar Christmas. We are all hurting a little and I refuse to do credit card Christmas. You would have thought I suggested a raw puppy eating Christmas. Enjoy your time in the UK Tim. We’ll see you soon.
Writer Dads last blog post..Happy Thanksgiving!
Comment by Diane on 30 November 2008:
Christmas time for me has always been a special time for family to get togethr and have fun. When my kids were little it was a time I gave them their wants something I didn’t do throughout the year. A special gift or two that they either wanted or needed for their life. Now they are older and one of the funnest things is to watch fthem hand out their gifts. That’s when the Christmas giving gets really interesting. Sometimes its what someone needs or a complete joke around my home. Or it is wrapped up so tightly or in so many boxes it could take 15 minutes to even get to. It’s fun and we are often laughing histericallly about what someone took the time up to do. If we all sat their in pondering this financial burden at the time I think we’d all be a bunch of downer’s. Even when someone doesn’t have “money” they come up with a unique idea on giving to brighten the day. To me Christmas often is about learning generousity for others and for many it’s a lesson needed!Personally everytime I hear that Christmas is so” commercialized” I shudder it has so much more than that. Sure there’s a 1001 ways to help or be kind all through out the year but how many keep their genorousity flowing through the year? Sometimes I think Christmas and its amazing good will should be carried on way more than it is….Some people don’t even speak to certain family or friends until Christmas or some other holiday. Or only see family at this time. I think it is a negative to ball Christmas into a “comercial” instead of what its special meaning is a celibration of lives, Jesus and all your family and extended ones who at this time of year you can show your attitude of appreciation for in a special way! I dare you to do all through the year as well.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 1 December 2008:
@ Justin – Thanks a lot for the feedback and about the only thing that will send me into debt at the moment is all this cold remedy medicine I’m taking! Such is life back in the UK.
@ Laurie – Sounds like a plan although with what you have said about the in-laws before, not so sure!
@ Hilary – Exactly although I am allowed to be miserable when I get a stinking cold, then it’s ok ;-)
@ Melissa – You’re welcome and you’re right it’s great to give presents. As long as they aren’t there to make up for a years neglect. I’m sure that isn’t the case with you, but equally sure it is for some people sadly.
@ Shalu – Exactly!
@ WD – LMAO, you mean to say you don’t have raw puppy in your house? Heathens!
@ Diane – well I agree with the vast majority of that. However, it sounds like me the commercialization aspect is being circumvented, so for you Christmas isn’t at all commercialized. I’m not convinced that is the case for everybody though. Thanks for the comment.
Comment by Cath Lawson on 1 December 2008:
Hi Tim – I read this at the weekend – but I’m lazy, so I decided to come back and comment.
How long are you in the UK for? It is bloody freezing here in the North.
I know the shopping centre you mean. As you say – a lot of those folk are getting into debt buying a heap of crap that folk don’t even want or need.
And I don’t seem to sound like a miserable bastard but I’ve hated Christmas for years – it just seems like one big meaningful waste. If I didn’t have kids, I don’t honestly think I would celebrate it.
This year, I’m thinking of making presents for everyone except the kids. It will certainly be interesting.
Comment by Cath Lawson on 1 December 2008:
sorry – I meant “meaningless waste”.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 3 December 2008:
@ Cath – I’m back home and not sorry too. The UK is suffocating in depression. It’s worse, much worse than here and that surprised me. I don’t hate Christmas at all, but I do think it’s ‘out of hand’
Why not give everybody you know a do it yourself manifestation kit? Hey I might write a post on that!
Comment by Cath Lawson on 4 December 2008:
Hi Tim – that is a brilliant idea. If you write a post on it, it would be great if you gave instructions on how to make them.
Comment by debt consolidation on 23 December 2008:
I agree that some people go overboard for xmas but its not a bad thing all across the board. I like getting presents, the social animal is interesting to view during the holidays, shops and malls are so crowded. i find it interesting to see how people react to the enhanced stress and hassle.