Talking To Myself

If you’re anything like me, and the rest of the human race come to think of it, you’re probably bombarding yourself with a constant stream of questions, all day, every day. You have between 50,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day and if you think about it, a great deal of those will be questions.

Hopefully you aren’t one of the many people that asks yourself things like “Why am I such a loser?” and “Why does my life suck?” Even though I said in my book that there are no stupid questions, they come pretty damn close. Anyway, I don’t care what crap you are going though or have gone through, you’re not a loser and your life doesn’t suck.

A lot of my thoughts tend to be the banal stuff like “What should I have for dinner” “Why does my own credit card company keep sending me flyers asking me to open an account with them” and “What do I add to this powdered water I bought?” and they loop round and round the empty corridors of my mind until I bother to intervene and ask something a bit more helpful.

Hot on the heels of my interview with Leo from Zen Habits that shocked the world (in my mind) I have decided to utilize my question asking ability by interviewing myself.

Yep you’ve read that right. The day has finally arrived where they come to take me away because I really am about to interview myself. Don’t ask me why because I’ve no idea other than it seems like a fun thing to do (in a self-indulgent kinda way) and also I can ask what the hell I want and not get offended.

If you think I’ve gone a bit too easy on myself and there’s anything whatsoever I haven’t asked that you’d like to know the answer to, feel free to ask away in the comment field. I’ll be having a quiet word with myself and insisting that I spill the beans.

So without further ado let’s get the proceedings under way.

Tim: What do you think is the biggest mistake people make when trying to improve the quality of their life?

Tim: Wow that’s a tough question Tim, I’m not sure I can answer that without writing an entire book on the subject, but let me take a stab at it.

I think that many people see self-development as a one-time deal. In other words, if I read this book and then attend the seminar I’ll be good to go. Self-development and personal growth are life styles. It’s not something you learn to do and then move on to the next thing like riding a bike. Nobody goes to a gym for 3 months and thinks that’s enough to keep them fit for the rest of their life. Self-development should be treated just like that. There’s always stuff you can be working on.

Tim: Is it normal for a 46-year-old man to still be listening to dance music and dancing around his office like a loon on a regular basis?

Tim: Well I suppose that depends on how you define ‘normal’. I guess it may be considered strange to some people, but then again I think it’s strange when people stop doing the things they enjoy just because society tells them they’re too old. I’ll decide when I’m too old.

Tim: Who are you real heroes of self-development?

Tim: Another brilliant question Tim; you’re really on the ball. I have a number of people I love to see on stage either teaching, talking or performing. Richard Bandler the co-developer of NLP is right up there with the best as is brilliant British hypnotist, NLPer and all around showman Derren Brown. I can usually watch somebody using NLP or trance work and know exactly what he or she is doing. I hardly ever know what Bandler is doing and I’m only slightly better off with Brown.

I also love Wayne Dyer, and Deepak Chopra and I have a lot of respect for Tony Robbins. It’s easy to knock Robbins because he is so full on and some people think he’s fake and a snake oil salesman. He certainly rode in on the shoulders of giants like Bandler and John Grinder, but he has repackaged NLP and delivered it to the masses in a manner that makes it more appealing and accessible for mass consumption.

Tim: What’s easier, to help a client lose weight or quit smoking.

Tim: That’s a ridiculous question you imbecile. Obviously it depends massively on the person.

Tim: There’s no need for that for an attitude like that Mr. Life Coach, I was just wondering.

Tim: Ok sorry Tim I’ve been a bit touchy today, I didn’t sleep well last night. It does depend heavily on the person and more importantly their levels of motivation. Notice I said motivation and not will power. I don’t care how much will power anybody has got, it’s motivation to change that matters.

I’m going to back track somewhat and say that smoking is possibly easier. The reason I say that is to lose weight and keep it off involves a lifelong commitment to changing diet and/or implementing an exercise regime. The majority of people that quit smoking for longer than a year don’t start again. Also, smoking is becoming socially unacceptable so visiting bars etc isn’t quite the problem for people trying to quit as maybe it once was. On the flip side, the temptation to eat the wrong kinds of food is never more than a strip mall drive-through away.

Tim: Have you any future plans that you’d care to share with your wonderful readers?

Tim: Wow, I’m just amazed you asked such an inspired question because as it happens, yes I have.

Starting on Monday 2nd February at 4.00pm EST (9.00pm UK) I will be doing a twice-monthly live interactive video feed. Anybody can log in and ask me questions on the subject of the day, which I’ll announce prior to starting. Coming up we’ll have discussions on the following:

Hypnosis
NLP
Meditation
Values
Goal setting
Managing stress

So anybody that has any interest in any of the above can go to this address and watch the shenanigans. They don’t have to take part if they don’t want to, but obviously I hope people will use this as an opportunity to learn more about the relative topics and put me through my paces.

Also, I am going to take ‘Stress is for Suckers’ and ‘Know Yourself – Change Yourself off the market never to be seen from again very soon.

Tim: But Tim they’re ground breaking, life changing, reasonably priced e-books and I know people will be weeping in the streets and there will be much wailing in anguish, gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands across the globe. What makes you do such a seemingly insane thing?

Tim: Actually I can’t say too much at this stage, but I am writing a book with an international best selling author that will cover a lot of the subject matter in those books. The new project will go into much more detail and show people a guaranteed way to be rich and more importantly, happy.

Tim: Oh I see, so you’ve slipped down the road of get rich quick schemes, squeeze pages and ripping your readers off, huh?

Tim: Yes.

Tim Really?

Tim: No not really, but you’re asking less than intelligent questions again, aren’t you? And I can’t say any more at this stage. I’m just a big tease.

Tim What’s your favorite movie of all time?

Tim: Ok that’s a bit better, but no way can I tie it down to just one. Lawrence of Arabia for its breathtaking scale, cinematography and acting. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels for its wit, originality, brilliant acting and clever script. Jaws for it’s suspense, sound track and for that one scene in the boat when they’re telling stories about old injuries as the shark is attacking. I also have to mention Python. Holy Grail and Life Of Brian are right up there with the best.

Tim: What is your definition of success?

Tim: I think success can only be gauged by the individual. What I consider success may leave you cold. Well not you obviously, but you get what I mean. If a person believes their life is a success then who am I or anybody else to question that? I think Leo when he said ‘happiness’ was close to the mark. I’d also throw peace into the equation. How can we be peaceful and not see that as success?

Tim: I think that will do for this time Tim. I’d like to take the time to thank you for answering my questions and hope that we can do it again sometime?

Tim: It’s been fun and thanks for some highly intelligent and thoughtful questions; you really have a knack for this. In fact I think you should have your own radio show. Have you ever thought of that?

Tim: No I haven’t but now you mention it, I think that’s a cool idea.

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24 Comments So Far.

Comment by Melissa on 27 January 2009:

Sorry for falling off the face of the earth for a while…

You’re only too old to dance around like a moron when you end up breaking a hip doing it. Imagine Tom Cruise’s cameo in Tropic Thunder. There was no hip breaking, but it was beyond amusing.

I’m a little skeptical about hypnosis.

I’m also glad that I’m not the only one who argues with myself.

Melissas last blog post..Best Football Game Ever.
Comment by Claire on 27 January 2009:

I am glad that my original opinion of you is indeed spot on :)

Claires last blog post..A year in review: March 2008
Comment by Vered – MomGrind on 27 January 2009:

Why do you think most people equate “successful” with “rich” and not with “happy” or “peaceful”?

Do you think they’re totally off base, or perhaps financial security does enable one to be free of everyday worries that make it harder to be happy?
Comment by Lori on 27 January 2009:

Such a great post that made me laugh and filled me with info. I like your comment about it being strange when people stop doing things because society says they’re too old. Society is a pesky bully sometimes. Often I’d like to tell it to shut off. :)

I, too, wonder why my credit card companies send me mailers to open an account with them. :)

Loris last blog post..Trying Some New Bars
Comment by Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching on 27 January 2009:

I liked the comment about personal growth being a constant, day-to-day process. I work with a life coach myself, but I think the biggest strides I’ve made have been in just watching myself as I go through life and noticing how weird and self-destructive the things I do sometimes are.

Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coachings last blog post..Podcast #4: Procrastination And Self-Acceptance
Comment by Ali Hale on 27 January 2009:

I’d like to congratulate Tim on the thought-provoking interview questions and Tim on the insightful answers … ;-)

Great interview!

Like Vered, I find it odd that success is measured so much in terms of money. It does seem ingrained in us by culture at times. The argument here in the UK for going to university or doing well at school tends to be “so you can earn more money”…

Looking forward to the live interactive video feed :-)

Ali
Comment by Tim Brownson on 27 January 2009:

@ Melissa – Glad you’re back! That scene at the end is just awesome. I defy anybody that didn’t know it was Tom Cruise to guess. An average movie imho, but that made up for it.

@ Claire – I’m guessing it’s the insane one, right?

@ Vered – If indeed that’s true and I honestly can’t be sure because I haven’t asked everybody in the world, but I sense it is. Then I think they’re not just off base, but outside the ballpark getting a last minute hot dog with extra salmonella.

I think people think it because they believe it and I think they believe it because they’re conditioned to believe it. I know wealthy people that worry themselves sick over money and I know poor people that never worry about money.

@ Lori – Feel free to say whatever you want about society here, I don’t moderate comments ;-)

@ Chris – Agreed with one caveat. We do indeed do self-destructive stuff, but we do it with the best intentions at the time and in accordance with what we know and believe. Nobody EVER self-destructs EVER. I await being told I’m wrong by somebody ;-)

@ Ali – Tim would like to thank you for our valued feedback. What a crap argument for attending university, huh? You’ll hate what you do, but don’t worry you’ll have plenty of money to count .
Comment by Claire on 27 January 2009:

I would never carelessly label someone insane….. I was thinking more along the lines of ‘Nutty McNuts’.

I liked the way Tim answered Tim about the dance music :)

Claires last blog post..A year in review: May 2008
Comment by Bamboo Forest – PunIntended on 27 January 2009:

Very nice interview. I’ve never thought of interviewing myself before — but it really isn’t such a bad idea. Who cares if people think you’re nuts!

And congratulations on the new book you’re working on.

Bamboo Forest – PunIntendeds last blog post..There’s Always Hope and Here’s Why
Comment by Doug on 27 January 2009:

Doug: What did you think of Tim’s questioning of Tim?

– I think it wasn’t meta enough. He needs at least one more step removed from himself. An alter ego asking the ego asking the id. Something like that.

Doug: Do you think he will ever learn that Jaws was a documentary, not a movie?

– No. I think the fact that actors appeared in the documentary probably threw him off. It made it harder to realize the shark was real.

Doug: Do you think Tim will ever find true happiness dancing alone in his room to the Smiths?

– No. But I do think it’s better than dancing alone in his room to Abba, which is where he was a few years ago.

Doug: Do you think it’s a good thing that Tim is becoming this media mogul, or module, or mobile?

– Well, it depends. If he starts sending checks to friends who reside north of him, then, yeah. But if he goes on Oprah and doesn’t remember all of the little people who helped him when he was down and out in Beverly Hills, or Hackensack, then some of us are going to be a bit peeved.

Dougs last blog post..All Things Vanish
Comment by Tim Brownson on 27 January 2009:

@ Claire – Nutty McNutts eh? I like that and yes your right Tims answer to that question was especially brilliant ;-)

@ BF – Hold on to the congrats until it hits the NY Times best seller list!

@ Doug – The Smiths??? I like The Smiths but it’s music to slash your wrists to in my experience, not dance to. Even Morissey couldn’t dance to it and he wrote it. BTW, I’ve faxed you some money to help tide you over.
Comment by Doug on 27 January 2009:

@Tim.

Whoops. I asked myself the wrong answer.

;>)

Perhaps I was thinking of the Smithereens. Or the Smithies. Or Patti Smyth.

Oh, never mind.

Dougs last blog post..All Things Vanish
Comment by Ruth on 27 January 2009:

I’m pretty sure I’ve danced to the Smiths. Not much of it, mind you, but my SIL is a huge Morrissey/Smiths fan and I’ve heard a lot of it. Seem to remember something being a little dance-worthy. But maybe I’m confusing it with something else too.

Tim, I really enjoyed your interview of Tim. I think that Tim runs a fascinating blog, it was nice to see him featured here….

Speaking of self-development as a one-time deal, I think that’s an advantage blogs have over seminars and books. They’re often less-focused and maybe less life-changing, but they keep you involved in the process instead of being over once they’re over. A really good blog is like working with a coach for howevermany months/years. You get daily/weekly/biweekly reminders and ideas for staying on course.

Hope we’ll see Tim around here again sometime. Oh, and Jaws is my favorite discovery of 2008. Took me a while to get into scary films.

Ruths last blog post..What Are You Valuing More Than Your Goal?
Comment by Ruth on 28 January 2009:

Tim,

I noticed you have another Ruth commenting here! That doesn’t happen very often–2 Ruths in one place!

I really enjoyed this post. Some especially pertinent points to me:

Self-development IS NOT a one-shot deal. Even when a person evolves beyond dealing with a certain issue, the challenge continues at a different level.

The definition of SUCCESS is PERSONAL, as you say. My definition of success has very little to do with money, and everything to do with personal development, which is a moment to moment endeavor.

I also appreciate Deepak Chopra.

By the way, I would like to extend an invitation to you and your readers to play “The Interview Game”, the details of which are posted on my blog (essentially, a 5 question interview that’s posted simultaneously on both blogs participating).

Thanks!

Ruths last blog post..Danielle LaPorte’s Interview of Me
Comment by Tim Brownson on 28 January 2009:

@ Ruth – Wow only just seen Jaws. Good for you and Tim would like me to tell you that you’re a intelligent, thoughtful and insightful human being ;-)

@ Ruth – I think you are the only two in the world. Wow, what are the odds of you meeting here? Thanks for the feedback and of course anybody that wants to take you up on the offer, the link is for all to see.
Comment by Ruth on 28 January 2009:

And Jurassic Park. It’s been a good year. :)

@Ruth, the real question is, are you under 80? ;) Bonus if you’re under 30….simply because I almost never meet a Ruth who isn’t someone’s grandmother. Or when people say “oh, I have an x named Ruth” it’s always a grandmother or a middle-aged person’s MIL. I suppose it’s the same for you.
Comment by Ruth on 28 January 2009:

R1 (I’ll be R2),

I am 36. So, not still under 30, but still always the “lone Ruth” in a sea of Jennifers and Michelles.

I’m not a grandma, and I’m not Jewish either! (Those are always the 2 questions I get.)

Ruths last blog post..Danielle LaPorte’s Interview of Me
Comment by Vered – MomGrind on 28 January 2009:

Haha @ “outside the ballpark getting a last minute hot dog with extra salmonella.”

You make me laugh. I like that.

Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..In Defense Of Plastic Surgery
Comment by Vlad Dolezal on 28 January 2009:

Ahh, that was great!

When I read the beginning of this post, I thought you were going to go over all the usual stuff about self-talk etc.. Then I get to the point where you announced that you were going to interview yourself:

“Yep you’ve read that right. The day has finally arrived where they come to take me away because I really am about to interview myself. ”

:D

That being said, I used to have dialogues with myself, taking the personalities of Simplicio and Salviati (if you don’t know who those are, think teleshopping. Simplicio is the skeptic.). In fact, I’m not sure why I stopped. Maybe I should start again :p

Vlad Dolezals last blog post..How to Conquer Fear
Comment by Laurie on 28 January 2009:

Wow Tim, you really need to get a better interviewer to question you. Although you did your best to hang in there and make him look as good as possible, the ordinary Joe would have fallen on his face with a weakling like that guy directing the conversation. (tease)

Your bi-monthly thingy sounds like fun. I will join you when ever I can! Good luck with soaking the money out of people!
Comment by Davina on 29 January 2009:

Hi Tim. I always thought you were “Ruth”less. I guess you’ve proved me wrong :-) An entertaining post, as always. Self-development is definitely not a one-time deal. Ain’t THAT the truth.

Davinas last blog post..Shopping for Effective Attitudes
Comment by Tim Brownson on 29 January 2009:

@ Vlad – Good to know I’m not totally predictable ;-)

@ Laurie – I agree I think Tim did a horrible job, but he was free and that’s good enough for me.

@ Davina – I need a groan smiley, and you’d have been the first to receive it in this thread!
Comment by Doreen on 30 January 2009:

Hi Tim, Loved the blog,as always, when will the book be available? Really looking forward to reading it.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 30 January 2009:

@ Doreen – Thanks for the feedback. Not sure about the book. Hopefully the e-book format should be out June time or maybe a bit sooner, but the hardback version is more likely to be the fall.

What I will say is that it’ll have lots of stuff like videos and podcasts tied up with it.

I don’t intend to leave anything on the table. All the best stuff that we both use will be in there. The guy I’m writing it with has some cool proprietary stuff of his own that I’m proud to be involved with.