Click Here For Your Problem To Be Ignored

I had big plans for this blog, in fact I think it’s fair to say it was going to be my wittiest, profound and damn right enlightening post ever written. Then Microsoft struck. My lack of posts this week has been because I’m back in the UK until tomorrow trying to sell my book ‘Don’t Ask Stupid Questions - There Are No Stupid Questions’. Well I say sell it, that may sound a bit grand, I don’t mean I am bartering with several large publishers all vying for the sole rights. More attempting to get my friends and famiy to hand over some cash for something they foolishly thought they’d get for free. If truth be known, I’ve really nipped back to see my mom before Christmas but I thought if I could pretend otherwise then this post would be a great chance to mention my book that by the way, just happens to make a great Christmas present, so that it can get picked up by search engines. I’m just a Google whore! 

 

Back to reality. I had this grandiose blog planned talking about what I miss about England (not that much actually), what life coaching would be like in the UK (difficult) and why Superstring theory is almost there but needs a little bit of tweaking.

 

Normaly when I do a Blog I write it first in Word. The reason for this is that I have all my little personal words in Word, so that when I do a spell check I don’t have to change all those little ‘Englishism’s’ such as Englishism for example because they are stored safe and sound and Word knows that my knowledge of the English language is purely coincidental at best.  When I usually start typing anything on my pc a little box pops up and says ‘Gibberish today Tim, or do you want to use real grammar?’ I usually check the gibberish box.

 

So it was with all these grandiose ideas in my head that I set off to shock the world with a post of Shakespearean proportions. Then Microsoft Word basically told me to swivel. It wouldn’t allow me to type anything into it and kept hanging around like the drunk at a Christmas party. I was reluctant not to use it because the spell checker in this Blog is so slow and as I said has none of my little peculiarities, but time after time it kept locking up. I must have clicked on the button that says “Would you like to report this problem to Microsoft so that they can do absolutely nothing about it?” button 5 or 6 times before I realised that I may as well be writing a personal letter to Bill Gates, tying it to the leg of a blind, one-winged rescue pigeon and wishing the little fella bon voyage as he stumbles from my 3rd floor hotel room window ledge onto the tarmac 25 feet below.

 

So there you have it. Instead of reading a post you’d look forward to telling your grandchildren about you’ve had to put yourself through this load of nonsense. On the other hand, think of the time you’ve saved.

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