Are We Friends?

Posted on 3 September 2008

I have some links at the bottom of my page under the headline ‘Friends of the Discomfort Zone’ Originally this started off as purely links to self development blogs that I read, but over time it has morphed into a group of blogs of all denominations, some I read and a lot I didn’t.

This morning as I was having a shave and contemplating the glorious day ahead I decided it was an apposite time to trim my list and actually make it what it says it is ‘Friends of the Discomfort Zone’

I didn’t bother finishing what I was doing, but set off in all my boxer-shorted glory to attack my links. I hacked away all the dead blogs and blogs that seldom posted. There were a couple of links that were to people I like and write good stuff, but it’s too irregular and once blogging drops to less than once every 10 days or so then it becomes confusing for readers in my humble opinion, so they were cut too.

I had a very quick scroll back to look for people that often comment on my blog and have shown me some support so that I could reciprocate with some real cyber love (not in that way) back at them.

Let me say at this point, it was a quick scroll!! It wasn’t an exhaustive search because shaving foam was running down my chin and the puppy was trying to lick it off. Nice work if you can get it.

I know I’ll have missed some good people. I’m not going to apologize because the point of this post is for you to tell me I’ve missed you and I that should rectify it immediately. Presuming I agree, of course I will ;-)

I’m not looking for links back. If you want to, then that’s great, but if you have no facility or simply would rather not, then that’s great too.

While I’m somewhat off topic I want to mention a couple of other things.

I have been giving a great deal of thought to my blog recently (well at least 10 minutes last Friday) and what way to take it. I’d really like your feedback if you’re able and willing. I write it primarily for you so I want to know what stuff you like and what you hate! Seriously, I do.

Two of the ideas that I’ve been contemplating are:

A question and answer on coaching once per week where I answer a query or two about a specific problem either as a blog or video post.

A weekly video post explaining how something in NLP or coaching works.

I’d love any other suggestions you may have, especially in terms of frequency. I used to post almost every day, but I thought rightly or wrongly it was becoming too much, so I have dropped it to 2 or 3 times per week. Is that about right do you think?

Also, I recently did an interview that I forgot to mention with Gala at Icing, you can read it here if you’re that way inclined.

Finally, I got an e-mail from Melissa Adams that comments here from time to time. She told me the dreadful story about a friend of hers who is currently in a coma after an accident training for a triathlon. Here’s a link to a site about it and I’m sure the family would welcome comments, thoughts, prayers etc if you’re able. I know she posted this as a comment, but I just wanted to give it a bit of added exposure.

Next time we’ll be back to normal, whatever THAT is.

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32 Comments So Far.

Comment by Nadine on 3 September 2008:

I’d much rather see text than video. I can skim text to decide if it’s interesting to me, but I’m too impatient to sit through a video. I don’t mind how often you post, as I’ve got you on RSS. (I’m kind of new here - found you via Gala.)
Comment by deb on 3 September 2008:

Hi Tim,
I agree with Nadine. I’ve got you on RSS and i would read you every day if you wrote something! I like text better because you can read it at your own pace, although it is nice to see you talking occasionally on Youtube and see that you are a real person! to be honest it doesn’t always have to be deep and meaningful (one of my favourites was the guy at the gym reading “The power of now” but its just hearing your take on stuff that is great!
Keep up the good work I say :)
Deb
Comment by Writer Dad on 3 September 2008:

I love the way you use images. They always compliment your words, and often make me smile.
Comment by Wendi Kelly on 3 September 2008:

Hi, I have been reading for awhile now and just commented I think for the first time earlier today. I am interested in all aspects of life coaching as I am working becoming a life coach myself and am always interested in personal development and inspirational and motivating topics. How often you post won’t matter to me, nor how long the posts are, I have subscribed and once I have made the committment to be a regular and start commenting as part of the community ( as I have) then I read everything so as to be involved. I read for good content and interesting community involvement and I have seen that here over the past few weeks so keep up the good work!
Comment by Vered - MomGrind on 3 September 2008:

Yay! We’re friends!

It would have hurt my feelings (a little) if you didn’t include my link. Does that make me a loser? Anyway, I added you to my blogroll too (you already were in my blogroll but then I removed those that were not reciprocating, including you, because unlike you I am a COLD CALCULATED person).

I agree with Nadine and Deb: I prefer text over video.

2-3 times per week is perfect and is what I do on MomGrind too. I have a hard time keeping up with blogs that post every day. When I consider someone as a friend, I like to show fierce support through reading and commenting and stumbling their work, but when they post so much I just can’t pay this much attention to every post.

Off to check the interview.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 3 September 2008:

@ Nadine - Thanks a lot for taking the trouble to comment and letting me know your thoughts!

@ Deb - LOL, yeh the Power of Now guy is in my brain for an eternity! I like doing a mix, but it’s cool to hear other peoples take.

@ Writer Dad - Actually that’s not an image it’s a picture taken of me this morning. Should I be offended?

@ Wendi - Thanks a lot for that and I trust and hope your training is going well. If I can be of help anytime, let me know.

@ Vered - How could I forget you???? It’s caught me slightly by surprise with the text over video, but I love writing so I’ll never give that side of it up. It’s nice to have options.
Comment by Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome on 3 September 2008:

Yay! I’m a friend! (I’m still developing a blogroll, but you’ll be on it when I do put it out there)

I’m with most people here, preferring text to video. I absorb information better in print - my brain tends to wander when I’m watching video.

But there are people with other learning styles, so perhaps both? You’ll draw in new and different “readers” by adding video, likely.
Comment by Evelyn Lim on 3 September 2008:

Phewww!! I’m wiping off the beats of sweat down my face as I’m writing this. It’s a great relief to know that I’m included in your list of friends! For a while, I thought I may need to hire you as a coach to dealing with rejection.

A twice-a-week frequency is enough for me. I’m finding it hard to keep up with reading and voting so many blogs all at once.

I like the idea of a Q&A. I also like the idea that the content you provide is mostly related to NLP and life coaching. Give me text as it’s easier for me to absorb. A nice idea is to have an online form for submission of questions.
Comment by Leanne Magraith on 4 September 2008:

The problem with video of course is that is can be ruined by poor clothing choices. I spent too much time being mesmersied by stripes waving around instead of listening properly to what you are saying. Of course if a hypnotic state was your goal in the video then it worked a treat!

Having said that the occasional video maybe one or two a month tops is still a good option, but I prefer text, and 2-3 posts per week is fine by me.

What about a weekly Ask the Puppy segment? You’ll get heaps more mileage out of the cute puppy and when the puppy grows up you can get rid of it (the segment not the puppy)

Keep up the great work Tim.
Comment by Dr. Nicole Sundene on 4 September 2008:

Whew! Glad I made the cut! Yay I am a true friend :D

I think some videos on how to do an actual technique would be great, and stuff like that is big on Youtube so you could easily help a lot of people by showing off some of your favorite techniques for us.
Comment by Dave Fowler on 4 September 2008:

Damn right we’re friends. I have such a lot of fun here, plus I get life coaching free. If I stick around long enough, you’ll eventually spill everything you know and I won’t have paid you a single cent. I’m just hoping that I’ll have enough life left to enjoy what I’ve learnt… as I suspect you can talk the hind legs off a donkey, and spin a yarn out over several weeks.

I do feel very much included in your community, and it’s nice that people even have little conversations amongst themselves.

I come here because you’re real. What you see, is what you get.

I think your posting schedule is right. It gives me time to absorb what you’ve said, and sometimes the best responses are left a day or two after the post was published. If you move on too quickly, everyone else moves on too. The value of the material wouldn’t be fully explored.

I like the idea about a Q+A, like Dear Deirdre or something.

I’m flattered that you’ve put up a link to my site, as I’ve only been blogging for four days (and I’ve already had my first hate comment! Woohoo!).

Thanks Tim. Keep up the good work.
Comment by Evan on 4 September 2008:

Hi Tim,

Question and answer I think could be a good idea.

Video personally is a time waster - it takes longer and is difficult to skim. I’m very text oriented. Apart from my personal preference, not everyone has cable and video takes a lot of bandwidth.

What I like about you is your voice (humorous presentation of solid content). Practical and useful stuff that deals with the real world. Keep up the good content!
Comment by Corey - Simple Marriage Project on 4 September 2008:

Hey Tim- I realize I’m a bit new here as far as commenting goes, but here’s my 2 cents. 2-3 posts per week is great. Hard to keep up with daily posts. I like both the typed text and the videos but would prefer the text.

I also highly recommend the Q&A. Very interesting possibilities. Good luck.
Comment by Melissa on 4 September 2008:

I’d be bereft if you didn’t post at least twice a week. You’ve become a morning ritual for me. (Hrrmm, that could sound almost wrong…)

I really appreciate you going to Mason’s site and sending the Barker family a note. It means a lot to me, and to them. Yesterday they were doing some muscle working and he seemed to like it, so there is another step in the right direction!

Q&A sounds good to me!!
I was wondering… can you think of any good blog hosters that are free? I want to stray away from Myspace.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 4 September 2008:

@ Alex - That’s kind of been my take. Also, I can do things with video that I can’t do with text and graphics alone. Video though takes a lot longer than I ever anticipated, I thought it was going to be a short cut!

@ Evelyn - Thanks for that, and I am leaning towards a question and answer type scenario. We’ll see what the take up is like.

@ Leanne - ‘Ask the Puppy’ I like it! You’ll probably get more sense out of the puppy and she has never ever worn stripes to the best of my knowledge. Do you need to know the best way to tear dollar bills to shreds? Then she’s your pup.

@ Dave - Thanks. I’m not completely sure about calling it ‘Dear Deirdre’ but maybe ‘Dear Marj’ would be ok. I have some old horned rimmed glasses I can did out specially for answering

@ Corey - Yep, the Q & A is coming soon and the 2-3 consensus looks good to me. Thanks for offering your thoughts.

@ Melissa- You’re welcome. Maybe try Wordpress.com they offer free hosting. I use a hosted platform based on Wordpress so I pay, but there’s some great free stuff out there and also some cool relatively cheap themes for under 100 bucks. Check out wordprezzie.com or solostream.com
Comment by Tim Brownson on 4 September 2008:

@ Evan - Thanks for the feedback. I guess you’re right in so much as the video is difficult to skim, but I yean not to be skimmed ;-)

@ Doc Nicole - Get back posting, NOW! Thanks for the feedback though.
Comment by Hunter Nuttall on 4 September 2008:

My God, Tim - “Either you’re in my cool people list or you’re a total loser. NO PRESSURE!” I was afraid of having a flashback to the day someone actually called me to let me know he was having a birthday party, but wasn’t able to invite me because the guest list was limited to 250 people. But luckily I made your list, and life goes on.
Comment by Laurie on 5 September 2008:

I like it when you throw in an occasional video post. You’re such a hoot and I have a great time watching you. As far as what to post, the Q and A sounds great. Also post things that we can incorporate into our lives. I would personally like something on managing anxiety and tricks to meditating that doesn’t sound too liberal. ;o)
Comment by Cath Lawson on 5 September 2008:

Hi Tim - I know you said you’d let things slide before you started on this project to get healthy but I can’t believe you look quite as bad as that pic in your boxer shorts.

Thank you for including me. I had not even realised that you had a Friends of the Discomfort Zone section until now.

I don’t have a blogroll, as I’m terrified that I’d miss someone important off and offend them but I try to link out a lot instead.

The idea of your question and answer sessions on coaching sounds good. Last time you did a video post, I couldn’t watch it cos everyone was still in bed.
Comment by Effortless Abundance on 6 September 2008:

I greatly enjoy your writing and prefer 2 or 3 times per week. I have a job, a life, my own blog to write, etc. and I can’t read much more than that.

Article length is about right - I don’t like videos much either.

Basically, carry on as you are for me. Cheers.
Comment by Dave Fowler on 6 September 2008:

I like the videos but it looks like you’ve got a ‘where the sun don’t shine’ situation going on here.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 6 September 2008:

@ Hunter - ROTFLMAO - 250 eh? I’m sure you you were on the bubble though mate.

@ Cath - What do you mean? I think I look smooth, suave and sophisticated you northern hussy ;-)

@ EA - Thanks a lot for the feedback. Dang the HD video camera is going to be redundant.

@ Dave - You aint kidding. I’m starting to get paranoid, I didn’t even know that BO was noticeable over the Internet
Comment by Rita on 6 September 2008:

Tim,
As you (and Tom) have been telling me for some time, I’m touched. Truly.

I would love to see some sort of “advice column” blog weekly - or bi-weekly from you. As to the format, to me it makes no difference. I like to read your words AND watch your videos.

The other changes I’d like to see I will discuss with the inevitable email. :-)

Thanks, friend,

Rita
Comment by Tim Brownson on 6 September 2008:

@ Rita - yes indeed you are touched.

I’m definitely going to have an ask the coach section on every Friday I’m thinking. I ‘ll announce it when I get my head out of my ass long enough to write a post for my own site.

I just wanted to tell anybody reading this that your last post about getting published was awesome and everybody in the world should read it.

Here’s the link: http://bloggrrl.com/2008/09/05/my-novel-is-going-to-be-published/
Comment by Leanne Magraith | Forever Change on 7 September 2008:

Thank you for including me in your blog roll Tim much appreciated.
Comment by Jennifer Albright on 7 September 2008:

Hi,

I’m writing to you from Buenos Aires, Argentina. I’m from Texas, but I’ve been living here for about 2 years.

My vote is for text, not for video. I never have the time to look at them. (-:

I’m going to close with something they always put at the end of mails here.

Te mando besos de Argentina,
(I send you kisses from Argentina),
Jennifer
Comment by Tim Brownson on 8 September 2008:

@ Leanne - You’re welcome!

@ Jennifer - Thanks for the feedback Jennifer. I was shocked for as minute because I clicked through to your site and one of my sisters best friends has the same name as you and I was thinking “Wow Jenny looks well, er, and about 15 years younger than I remember - lol” Then I realized it wasn’t her. C’mon it’s Monday morning, what do you expect?

Thanks for dropping by and for that post script ;-)
Comment by Sal on 8 September 2008:

Tim,

It is good to trim the fat every once in a while. I just did this with my actual reader not too long ago. Unfortunately, I have found about twice as many good blogs as I got rid of and now my list is even larger than it was before.

I looked over your friends and feel good to say that most of them are in, and have stayed in my reader since the beginning. There are a few new ones that I will have to check out. Thanks for the post.
Comment by Kelly@SHE-POWER on 8 September 2008:

It’s so funny you should write this because just this morning I was replying to comments on my blog and I thought, “that bastard Tim doesn’t comment nearly enough!”

But seriously (hand on heart) I am most definitely a friend of yours and I thank you humbly for the link. I should actually update my blogroll too. I think there may be sites on there that I rarely read now, while others that I visit all the time are not mentioned. I’ve been thinking about a site redesign for ages and keep telling myself I’ll fix it all up then. But so far, still no redesign. I think I keep spending my money on shoes…

I like your ideas for some regular posts and I think 2-3 times a week is good. Personally, I can never keep up with a daily blog.

Kelly
Comment by Tim Brownson on 8 September 2008:

@ Sal - I’m fat trimming as we speak and glad you like some of the great bloggers that visit here.

@ Kelly - You have hit a raw nerve for me there. I know you were joking, but I do sometimes feel bad that there are people commenting here and I seldom comment on their site.

I wish I had the time to do it, but like everybody else here, I just don’t. Also, I rarely comment unless I can think of something to add to the debate and I really don’t want to type ‘Great post’ and move on. What’s the point of that?

So from now on in, if I don’t comment on any of your posts it’s because I’m thinking “Great post” and can’t think of anything else of value. Same goes for everybody else ;-)
Comment by Rita on 8 September 2008:

Tim,

Thanks so much for the link! My “day off” to celebrate yesterday was spent in a much nicer way than I thought - hearing people say “well done!” What a great feeling, eh?

Rita
Comment by Kelly@SHE-POWER on 8 September 2008:

Tim, don’t feel bad. I am the same as far as not wanting to write a comment unless I have something to say. I could never comment on all the blogs I read. I just try to drop in and contribute where I can.

Kelly :)