What Are Your Favorite Books?

Below is a link to my latest video post. I was going to do another book review and then I said “Hang on a minute, it will take me at least a couple of hours to write and then edit (yeeees, I do edit them, it just seems like I don’t sometimes), so why not do a video review? Even better, why not review several books at once?” Then my wife came in and asked me who I was talking to? When I looked sheepish she rolled her eyes and said “You’re talking to yourself again, aren’t you?” I looked at my shoes and said “Might be, so what?” She just sighed and left me to it.

Once again it’s completely unscripted and once again strewn with ums, ah’s and pauses where I’ve forgotten what I’m talking about.

The real reason for me doing the review was to stimulate some discussion. I really want to know what YOUR favorite self development, personal growth type books are. You don’t have to list 5 or even 3, if you don’t want to, one will do as long as it had a substantial impact on YOU!

By the way, in my haste to keep moving I neglected to mention the title of John P Strelecky’s book. I’d say that’s pretty much a no-no for a book review so my apologies, it’s ‘The Big Five For Live’

Looking forward to hearing what you have to recommend and feedback on the ones I have mentioned if you’ve read them is more than welcome.

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12 Comments So Far.

Comment by Vered on 15 June 2008:

I don’t read self-development books. :)

But I liked your review. I’ve never heard of any of those books.

I don’t know that it will make me go and buy one of them, but it was nice not to hear the same names that everyone just endlessly chews on over and over again.
Comment by Evan on 15 June 2008:

Hi Tim,

Nice to hear an accent other than American in the blogosphere (I’m an Australian).

I have three favourites. All quite old now but all unsurpassed in my - not so - humble opinion.

First up a work of genius. Perls, Hefferline and Goodman’s Gestal Therapy. A theory of psychotherapy in 250 pages accompanied by exercises and comments on them by people who have done them and comments by the author - another 200 pages. It is not an easy read - you may have to go through it page by page or even paragraph by paragraph or sentence by sentence. It is probably the most rigorously argued self-improvement book ever written. Any time spent seriously working on it pays huge dividends. It is also still well ahead of the game in psychotherapy and was written more than fifty years ago. Read it, work with it, your efforts will transform your life. I’m a very harsh judge of books but this one is simply extraordinary.

Second, a book that is the standard for popular and accessible. James and Jongeward’s Born to Win. Each chapter has exercises so you can experience the theory. It is well written with lots of examples and in an accessible style. It is easily the simplest and most accessible of the self-help books. It feels a bit dated now - I advise skipping the first chapter. But to understand ourselves and relationships and to make changes in them, it is superb.

In the success literature Edward de Bono’s Tactics. In this book Edward de Bono analyses interviews done by others of successful people. One of the nice aspects is that success isn’t defined as making lots of money - he interviews athletes and inventors as well as business people. He is especially good on different kinds of risks and considers choosing the kind of field that you go into and how success in different fields may well require different approaches. It was written 30 years or so the people in it aren’t around any longer usually. But I don’t think it has been bettered.

These are all superb books that I have no hesitation recommeding to anyone. I think any time spent seriously engaging with them pays huge dividends.

Evan
Comment by Tim Brownson on 15 June 2008:

@ Vered - Of course I agree, there are hundreds of undiscovered gems out there and that’s what I’m hoping to hear about.

@ Evan - Great stuff mate! Of course NLP started when Bandler and Grinder modelled Erickson but also Virginia Satir and Fritz Perls and ‘Gestalt Therapy’ so maybe I should be looking at that. I have read a couple of EDB books including the excellent ‘6 Thinking Hats’ but not the one you mention. I may need to check it out. Thanks for the heads up.
Comment by Laurie on 15 June 2008:

Thanks for the book reviews. SO who was that Tim guy and the stupid question book? That one was quite the afer thought! he he he. You mad me laugh with your boyish sells pitch! Cute.

So here’s my list. I have read so many books, it is difficult to choose.

Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch PhD: This book discusses how to take your marriage to greater intimacy and differentiation. He uses the stories from his clients to teach through. It’s basically showing you how to be an individual while being a part of a couple.

Inside Out by Larry Crabb: This is a Christian book which allows you to stop pretending you have it all together and have the best relationships so you can make changes in your life by looking inside yourself and allowing God to liberate you into a person who experiences wholeness and freedom to be honest, courageous, and loving.

Addiction and Grace by Gerald May: This is also a Christian book. May talks about the biology of addiction down to the cellular level then discusses how to cope with addiction in a healthy way knowing that sometimes addiction is a life long struggle.

Hiding From Love by John Townsend: yet another Christian book about hiding to protect yourself. It discusses why we hide, the behaviors of hiding (what it looks like with different people), and what steps are recommended to resolve it.

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck : This is probably more known than the other books. While it tends to make the same point over and over, the point is a good one that being a fixed mindset holds you back and a growth mindset helps you move forward. Even entire business have a mindset which can help it be more innovative and healthy or hold itself back because the employees are into self protection mode.

Well there you have it. Books I have learned something from and enjoyed.
Comment by Jonathan Mead on 16 June 2008:

Here’s my favorite personal growth books, in no particular order:

The Voice of Knowledge
7 Habits of Highly Effective People
The Mastery of Love
Four Agreements
7 Spiritual Laws of Success
Comment by Ali on 16 June 2008:

Tim, you made me laugh too at the end!

I have to say, hand on heart, and totally unprompted, “Don’t Ask Stupid Questions - There Are No Stupid Questions” is one of the best self-development books I’ve read. I go back to it whenever I’m in a motivational slump. So, that’s my top pick!!

My other favourites are all by a “time coach”, Mark Forster (he blogs at http://www.markforster.net/blog):
- Get Everything Done (And Still Have Time to Play)
- How to Make Your Dreams Come True
- Do It Tomorrow

The first of these was the book that got me interested in the whole personal-development, time-management, self-improvement, productivity type thing. The three books are quite different from one another (”Dreams” in particular), but I’ve found the way Mark writes about things completely makes sense to me. His tips actually WORK!

Oh, just one more: C.S Lewis’s “The Screwtape Letters”. Brilliant, entertainingly-written insight into the human mind and all the little habits we have that we might rather pretend we don’t. It’s written as a series of letters from a senior devil to a junior one, and it is from a very Christian perspective (which suits me! but I realise might cause confusion or offence for some.)

PS - Tim, didn’t you promise nudity in your second video post? ;-)
Comment by Isabel Joely Black on 16 June 2008:

“Loving What Is” by Byron Katie (and also “I Need Your Love” by the same author).

It’s the simplest and most brilliant approach to dealing with thinking that I’ve ever come across. As you know I have a lot of issues with my thoughts, but finding The Work really made a massive difference. Instead of fighting them, find out if they’re true, then turn them around. What I love most about Byron Katie herself is that you can tell from her videos that she’s the real deal. She lives it all herself, and she makes it work for herself.
Comment by vini on 17 June 2008:

I find self development information in the most unlikely places. These are a few of the books I have read recently:

Excuse me, your life is waiting. Lyn Grabhorn
Forgive for Love. Dr. Fred Luskin
Gluten-Free Girl. Shauna James Ahern
Comment by Shann on 17 June 2008:

I love these books:

The Art of Happiness by The Dalai Lama
Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life by Dr. Wayne Dyer
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Succulent Wild Woman by SARK

Plus all of Jonathan’s picks.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 17 June 2008:

Thanks everybody. Sorry for the tardiness of my reply after you were all good enough to offer suggestions. I’ve had Internet problems for the last 3 days or so and I finally lost connection completely when my modem failed on me this morning after previously cutting in and out. I’ve bought another one and should be ok now.

Some really cool suggestions, a few of which I have never even heard of.

My favorite listed is probably Jonathans mention of ‘The Four Agreements’ Definitely in my top 5 of all time and book packed with wisdom.

@ vini - I read the Lyn Grabhorn book about 4 or 5 years ago and way before I’d even heard of the Law of Attraction. Interesting stuff and thanks for your reply.

@ Laurie - never been called cute before, I think I’ll print that off and frame it!

@ Joely - I keep meaning to pick up some Byron Katie stuff because I’ve only heard good things, I’ll post it to my Amazon wish list.

@ Ali - Wow, what can I say? Maybe get a check up but thanks very much that’s greatly appreciated.

@ Shann - I love the Dalai Lama one, ‘How to Practise’ is great too. I missed seeing him speak when I was back in the UK 2 weeks ago by 3 days. Bummer! Succulent Wild Women sounds like a Website and I’m definitely going to check that out.
Comment by Tom Volkar / Delightful Work on 17 June 2008:

The Deviant’s Advantage by Mathews & Wacker

Coaching Into Greatness by Kim George

Taking Responsibility by Nathaniel Branden

The Rennaisance Soul by Margaret Lobenstine
Comment by LMaxwell on 8 July 2008:

When I Loved Myself Enough by Kim McMillen.