Fulfilling Your True Potential

I honestly believe that you will never fulfill your true potential without first understanding what your core values are. In almost 4 years of coaching I have never had a client come to me and know what really made them tick. I have never spoken to anybody EVER that could tell me what not only their core values were but their away from values were too.


How can a life coach help somebody and how can anybody help themselves without knowing what drives them at a fundamental level? I honestly don’t believe they can, it’s that big a deal to me.


Values get you out of bed in a morning, they dictate who your friends are, what you eat, how you interact with other people, who you vote for and even whether you think it’s ok or not Values aren’t the exclusive domain of individuals either. Business’s, Church’s, Sports Teams, Gangs and Governments have values, and act on them for better or worse.


There are no right or wrong values, only values that are right or wrong for YOU! Nobody’s are better nor worse than anybody else’s because the whole concept is completely subjective. Judging other people starts and ends with judging somebody based on your own values and a belief that yours are right and there’s are wrong.  How ridiculous is that? I know we all do it (well maybe not the Dalai Lama and one or two other monastic types) but the act of being aware makes it a lot less likely.


Many people also carry around internally and externally value conflicts with them. These often explain why we sometimes just feel stuck and don’t know why. Imagine having a number one core value of honesty, and then finding yourself having to lie for a friend. Do you think you are going to feel comfortable about that? What about being offered that once in a lifetime dream job for a company that you know uses sweat shops when your number one value is integrity? Have you ever met somebody in a bar, say a friend of a friend and taken an instant dislike or even a like to them? That’s probably a value conflict or a value alignment depending on your feelings.


Core values are things like freedom, peace, integrity, health, security and love. Away from values are things like conflict, arrogance, dishonesty, cynicism, hate and greed. Do any of those strike a chord with you? What do they mean to you? Would you walk over broken glass to achieve freedom? Would you refuse to countenance being friendly with somebody that was dishonest? You need to know these things so that when you are making changes or improvements in your life you can align with yourself!


I’ve just re-read that and it sounded a little bit like I was ranting, so for a moment of light relief: Drum roll maestro please! A kid runs to open the door and shouts “Daddy, daddy there’s man at the door with a bill” “Don’t be silly one”’ comes the reply “It must be a duck with a hat on”



I use some very basic forms that help me do a value elicitation with clients. I can honestly say about the least enthusiastic response I get is “That was interesting Tim, now I know why I am so attracted to quiz show hosts” but I often get comments similar to  “Jeez that’s amazing, I now realize why I hated my job for the last 39 years ended up murdering my boss and burying him under the patio”
I’ve posted this because I have been procrastinating on doing this for months and months now (value conflict methinks). So by telling you I’m going to give all this stuff away means I have to do it or I get exposed as the lazy, cheapskate, publicity whore that I am.
If you are interested in knowing more and you are absolutely desperate, e-mail me, although it may take a few days for me to write everything up. Alternatively, if your life isn’t in tatters and you can hang on a short while, I’ll post a free download from here soon with a bit more detail on values (and also what aren’t values!) and how to work out what yours are.


PS nobody ever told me they murdered their boss…..yet.

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