What Do You Want To Quit?

Posted on 16 December 2006

I was approached by somebody in a restaurant a few weeks ago that knew I was a qualified hypnotherapist. She asked me if I could make her quit smoking. Well I know there are a lot of misunderstandings about hypnosis and the powers of hypnotherapist but this was a strange question. I was not really sure how I could make this lady do anything never mind get her to give up something that she seemed less than committed to do by herself, but I pursued the issue nevertheless.  I asked her if she really wanted to quit and she smiled and said of course. So I then asked her if she really wanted to give up or just wanted to want to give up. She looked confused for a moment but then realized what I was getting at and admitted it was really the latter. I gave her the grave news that in that case she was probably doomed to failure and that she was to give me a call when she was 100% committed. Needless to say, I have yet to receive that call. 

It is an interesting how many people seek help when they think that they want to make some fundamental changes but the reality is that they just want to want to. Most smokers actually say they would like to quit, so what’s stopping them? Well it maybe the addiction or it may simply be that the reality is that they do not wish to quit so badly after all. They know they should give up, they know that it would benefit them both financially and from a health perspective, they also know that it would probably be more desirable to quit from a social standpoint but hey, they enjoy it, so it’s tough, right? 

This is all well and good but what is the point of what I am saying?  As a coach I sometimes get clients where change seems to be more difficult to implement than is usually the case. They arrive with all the best intentions and seem genuine in their desire to make changes in their life whatever they may be, but then nothing happens. I think a huge aspect of this is that the desire for change is not really there at a deep level, they have made no real decision other than to try and pass the buck to some guy that should be able to force them to change if they pay him enough money. Well sorry it doesn’t work like that. The decision and desire has to come from the individual and without that things become a lesson in futility. If you have tried to lose weight, or quit drinking, or get fitter and failed repeatedly ask yourself if it is because you want to want to rather than really wanting to. By that simple process and if you are totally honest with yourself you will immediately increase your understanding of what you need to do to succeed because when you know what the answer is, then you can start to change your way of thinking and that is a really cool thing to be able to do.   

 

 

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