The Secret Of Evolution

A quick question for you: What is it that everybody does every day (you included), yet few people like doing and many when told they have to, will worry, whine and panic about it or sometimes even refuse?Think about it for a moment without sneaking a look down below.

I said, no peeping down below, get you eyes back up there right now!

In case you’re struggling and/or losing interest I’ll help you out. It’s not cleaning your teeth, it’s not taking a shower, it’s not using the bathroom, it’s not getting dressed and it’s not sleeping.

I believe that you’re a bit brighter and savvier than the average web user so I’m guessing you know by now that the answer is change.

I have posted about change several times before and I make no apologies for doing so now, so if you’re groaning and/or rolling your eyes stop it now and pay attention because this is really important stuff.

On a physical level our bodies are changing on a minute-by-minute basis. I once read that we regenerate a liver approximately every 6 months. I’m not sure what it does with all these new livers because I know I haven’t got a box with over 150 livers in, but you get my gist. By the way, that time span could be wrong so don’t think you can go drinking yourself into a stupor and then wait for a new liver to materialize 6 months down the road and make everything better again. I was just making a point about change and quite frankly one that I wished I’d not bothered with now. Next time remind me to use fingernails as an example.

Not only do we change physically but mentally we are also in a constant state of flux. Your values can and do change as do your beliefs and those two things dictate your identity, which in turn changes. Your emotions can change from moment to moment, as I am sure you know. Think of the best day of your life for 10 seconds and I guarantee that will cause an instant change in you. Outside of our bodies we change too. Friends come and go, loved ones die, we change jobs and even careers, move homes, buy new clothes, eat different food, travel to new countries and dabble in all sorts of things that we wished we’d never dabbled in.

So why oh why do we have so much trouble accepting change consciously when it’s going on all the time? For the answer to that question you have to look to evolution.

The number one priority for all of us at a base level is survival. It’s not reproducing, it’s not spiritual growth and it’s not being a movie star, its just survival.

With that in mind I’d like to congratulate you on making it this far. Evolutionary speaking you are a great success, so go on, give yourself a pat on the back because you’re not dead. Seriously that is a success. There are enough ways to die on this earth and you have avoided every single one of them. Therefore, your body knows that it did a great job in getting you here and it has awarded itself an A+ in it’s major getting to the end of the day still drawing breath.

Guess what it’s now thinking?

“Well I got us this far so what I’m doing must be working so let’s do the same thing again tomorrow.

So then when you try and buck the trend and do something different it’s a big evolutionary no-no! “Why change?” it whines, “We’re still breathing aren’t we? Let’s stick with the mullet haircut, I like it” Consequently you start to feel uneasy (maybe not about losing the mullet) and feel the urge to resist leaving that comfort zone that has been so lovely and cuddly to date.

That’s why when somebody says to you “Lets drink 10 beers and go bungee jumping off the local bridge with this piece of rope I found” it starts to act weird. Unless you’re as insane as your rope-swinging friend, you’re probably going to decline his or her generous offer. On the other hand, if you do accept because you don’t want to look like a wuss, you will kick into effect a whole series of events designed to make you change your mind pronto. Ever had those sweaty palms, dry throat, jelly legs and strong desire to visit the bathroom even though you went 20 minutes ago? Of course you have, everybody has, that’s the body’s way of saying “Actually I think I’ll stay at home, you go on without me, but be sure to let me know how it went” It’s the fight or flight response so loved by us all that we even manage to recreate it under benign conditions, but that’s for another blog on another day.

What happens though if you accept the jump of certain death and you actually survive? Firstly, you will probably feel great because you just cheated death. This may or may not be followed up by a swift heart attack as your body strikes back, but let’s presume it doesn’t. At this stage you have probably got enough adrenaline coursing through your blood stream to supply a large hospital with epinephrine for a month and another jump may seem like a no-brainer.

Let’s presume you do another few jumps unscathed and go home feeling like you’re King (or Queen) of the world, then what?

This is the really cool bit. Now you have taught your body a lesson that it wont forget, you have taught it that it’s safe to bungee jump with lunatic friends after drinking beer. So next time you get asked to do the same thing your apprehension levels will be much lower and be a lot more manageable. In fact you may only need 5 beers and a double vodka.

What’s happened is that you have stretched your comfort zone and bungee jumping is no longer outside its boundary (I’m sure there is some pun/joke in there somewhere but I can’t be bothered to look for it). It gets even better than that though, because the good news is that it stays that way and rarely returns to where it started. There can be exceptions to that of course. If you pick up the local paper the following day to see a picture of your friend impaled on a pointy rock in the river with a piece of frayed rope attached to his midriff then it’s doubtful you’ll be too keen to try again anytime soon.

On the whole though, stretching your comfort zone is a good thing because it can remove a lot of the restrictions that many people feel on a day-to-day basis. It’s no fun being fearful of asking for a deserved raise, speaking in public or applying for a new job, but if you push through nevertheless the next time it will be easier and the time after that easier still. It may never become something you look forward to, but that’s not the point as long as it doesn’t hold you back.

I want to stress at this point that I do realize that this is easier said than done for many people. If somebody came to me for Life Coaching and help with removing fears I don’t think they’d be too impressed if I said “Just go and do it and stop whining!” and then asked for $125.

There are a number of ways to facilitate change using NLP and/or hypnotherapy but that alas is for another day so in the meantime, just go and do it and stop whining because your true potential is that thing juuuuust outside your comfort zone and it’s waiting for you whenever you’re ready.

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22 Comments So Far.

Comment by Andrea Hess|Empowered Soul on 24 April 2008:

Love this article! Within each of us is an aspect that wants to keep everything exactly the same. A wonderful survival mechanism that is very important in order to not get eaten by, for example, bears. But once we’ve moved beyond the survival phase and are concerned with personal and spiritual evolution, that mechanism needs to be subverted by our will.

I’m a big fan of inching outside of our comfort zone - before we know it, our comfort zone is huge and expansive … and we are pretty fearless!

Blessings,
Andrea
Pingback by Personal Development Carnival: Issue 37 | The Next 45 Years on 27 April 2008:

[...] The Secret Of Evolution by Tim Brownson [...]
Comment by Tim Brownson on 27 April 2008:

Agree 100% Andrea. That CZ doesn’t really help us at all. Life’s not about survival, it’s about living!
Comment by Ali on 27 April 2008:

Something which has helped me (a bit!) when inching outside the Comfort Zone is to remember that EVERYTHING is scary the first time I do it.

The first time I got a taxi on my own was scary. (I’ve ridden in dozens of taxis since, and it’s easy now…)

The first time I had to answer the phone at work was scary. And it was still scary for the next week or two. (I’m completely blase about it now…)

The first time I lived away from home, at Uni, was scary. (I moved out of the family home to London a couple of years ago…)

The first time I did a presentation to client at work was scary. (It’s still pretty scary, but I’ve only been doing it for a few months. And it’s getting easier!)

Now, I am probably a bit of a ‘fraidy cat, but my point is that even little things can give you the racing heart and sweaty palms, just because they’re new. Once you learn that this is NORMAL, and that the scary thing will one day be something you do without a second thought, it’s easier to cope…

Ali
Comment by Tim Brownson on 27 April 2008:

I hope were scared about commenting here too, because I am notoriously tough on my visitors.

I know what you mean though. Even after 20 years in sales I still used to get nervous before meeting a big client for the first time. I don’t mean a tall one either although sometimes they were tall as well, which was even more frightening.
Comment by Cath Lawson on 1 May 2008:

Hi Tim - I feel thick, because I was thinking - Do people really hate emptying the bin as much as I do?

The comfort zone thing is so true though - the more you do the easier it is (don’t know about the bungee jumping though - not for me anyway).

And this may sound lazy - but it’s not always change you’ve instigated yourself you benefit from. Everytime I’ve had some horrendous disaster, it seems to make it so much easier to cope with the next one.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 2 May 2008:

True Cath which is why insist on having at least one major catastrophe per week, two if I can manage it.
Comment by Doug on 3 May 2008:

Excellent advice, Tim. I stretch my comfort zone everyday I leave my house. It’s sooooo scary out there!!

:>)

Of course, life IS an adventure. And I think our biology equips us to experience that in so many ways. We’re extremely blessed with acute senses which we can refine and hone and integrate. Life comes at us from all directions, and we’re set up to handle that, for the most part.

I also think that evolution was designed to evolve. Which is not as repetitiously redundant a comment as it may seem at first glance. The more time that passes for us as we move up the ladder, the more distance we put between us and our ancestors who spent every waking hour in fear and trembling. With exceptions, we should never, ever live that way in this modern world of ours. We already know the end result. We die. Between birth and death, we have a ton of choices to go waaaay beyond simply “surviving.”

Thanks for making me think about this again today. I mean, thanks a lot!!

:>)
Comment by Bobby Kendall on 5 May 2008:

Hi Tim,

You have a dog?

Oh sorry, this is supposed to be a comment on change. Let’s see… Did I read correctly that you have another dog on the way?

Okay seriously, change… getting out of your comfort zone is… why have I never seen or heard your doberman? I’m not saying I want to, I’m just saying… I had a bad experience with a dog when I was younger.

So what did you ask me? Right, comfort and change. I’m comfortable with change, it’s just the changing that makes me uncomfortable.

Unless I have an emotional catalyst, it is nearly impossible for me to change, either for the better or the worse.

For example, when I was stood up for my prom, I dedicated myself to becoming physically stunning. So I worked out religiously… or atheistically… whichever is more stubborn, and I had a very strict diet. Afterwards I visited her a couple years later and needless to say she was impressed… my grating cheese on my abs had something to do with that as well. That pain I felt 8 minutes before the prom really shocked me into action.

But my point is… with me, my changes have always been precipitated by some emotional event.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 5 May 2008:

@ Doug - TI Think you’re right that we are equipped for the MOST part. It’s how we deal with the bits that we’re not equipped with that matters most ;-)

@ Bobby - Yeh I have a doberman. We call her a stealth dobe because she is usually seen and not heard. That is until she spots and intruder! Doesn’t all change follow some form of emotional event? I’ve never really stopped to think about it before but emotions are what drive us, but what drives our emotions? Thoughts do, thoughts drive everything. Control your thoughts and everything else is a walk in the park!
Comment by Dr. Nicole Sundene on 12 May 2008:

Great post! Change is so vital because every time we shake up our routine we increase our dopamine levels, the neurotransmitter that makes us feel happy.
Comment by Carol Ann Wiley on 20 May 2008:

The name of your site is what first grabbed me. For a long time my email signature has included a favorite quote of mine from Helen Keller: “Live is a daring adventure..or nothing!”

Then what grabbed me next was the great content on this site, especially this post. How can something that seems so bad at the time actually be so good later. My husband and I left a life of working for city and state government in a city in Nebraska, taking early retirement and moving from Nebraska where we were lived most of our lives — to California and seeking to create a business of our own that generated sufficient income to support our retirement lifestyle (to which we had grown accustomed).

It has been quite an adventure and a whole lot of change.
The learning curve into the world of becoming an Internet Marketing Entreprenuer from being a Public Servant has been steep.

But I can say it is beginning to even out. But some days it can still seem mighty steep and therefore finding a site like yours helps in the drive. (Still not too happy in the discomfort zone, but I shall keep reading your posts). Thanks.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 21 May 2008:

@ Doc - and we can’t avoid it, that’s the real thing. We can fight it, but why would we bother.

@ Carol Ann - Thanks for a lot for that and I wish you luck with the venture. Two very different places it would be harder to imagine whilst remaining in the same country. Thanks for telling me a bit about you.
Comment by JEMi | Tips for Life, Love, You on 28 May 2008:

Tim,
I *almost* feel guilty for greedily lapping up all your bits of wisdom for free. Almost. The college student in me begs to differ.

This was a delight to read.. very entertaining, very wise and as I read I couldn’t help but feel that this is something I really needed to see this very early morning. (It is an ungodly hour as I write this. NOOO not 9 AM!)

The comfort zone is just so .. comfy. But I am currently dealing with personal challenges that require I be coaxed(shoved) outside of the borderline of my comfort zone. Thank you for your perspective and making self improvement fun :)

I think I’m going back to sleep now, just a little bit wiser. :)
Comment by Laurie on 8 June 2008:

This past couple of years I have done a lot of changing. I changed jobs, which didn’t work out so I am starting my own business (way outside my CZ), I have also made a lot of changes in me. All I knew was that I wanted “more” out of life. It was frustrating for the hub as I couldn’t really define it. But I started breaking out of my shell and coming out of hiding and it has been so worth it. I have a much more intimate and stronger relationship with the hub, and I am getting so much more out of life. I am stretching my boundaries spiritually as well and that is great. Change has been an awesome thing for me. I can’t wait to see what else is out there for me. To change is to invite adventure into your life. How great is that? :O)
Comment by chris on 13 June 2008:

Change happens all the time. The weather, the economy, political climate, etc…all of these things change. However, when it comes to human behavior in a personal level, change doesn’t come so easily, if it comes at all.

Unfortunately, a stubborn person will always be stubborn, a liar will always be a liar, a cheat will always be a cheat, and so on and so forth.
Comment by Dave on 14 June 2008:

Hi Tim,

From my late teens to my early thirties I used to take the approach of deliberately doing the things that scared me. Since then I haven’t really challenged myself too much, and I’m soon to say goodbye to my 39th year.

In fact, keeping a tight grip on my comfort zone is what keeps me in bed at 4am every morning…. when I should be getting up and giving it a bit of a stretch. But now, it’s getting hard

to change what has become the habit of a lifetime.

There! I admitted it! Now you all know what kind of guy I am. ;-)

Great article Tim. I’m going to reread it now to try and find that pun.

Cheers,
Dave
Comment by Tim Brownson on 14 June 2008:

@ Chris - Thanks for stopping by Chris. I have to say that I have seen many people make significant beneficial changes to their life to know that it can be done. I’d qualify that by saying the desire to change has to be there otherwise it’s probably not going to happen, but there is no doubt in my mind it can be achieved.

Mind you, if I didn’t believe that, I’d be out of a job!
Comment by Doug on 29 June 2008:

Is there a contradiction between national evolution and personal evolution? Can constant worrying about the former hurt the latter?

I wonder about that. I worry about that, too. Worry that worrying too much causes my own stagnant reserves to fight their way to the surface and take over.

It would be great to evolve as a person, while simultaneously helping the nation, or the world evolve as well.

Of course, that sounds a bit pretentious. But, of, what the hey!!

Reading a really good book now, by Humphrey Carpenter: Geniuses Together: American Writers in Paris in the 1920s. Good history of the period. In one section, the author talks about a study done in 1921 by a group of social scientists. Harold Stearns was the editor. A tough critique about America putting most of its energy and focus on building wealth, and not enough on building hearts and minds via the arts, etc. An entire generation must have felt something similar, because it took off for Europe to find heart and soul. Gertrude Stein remarked a few years later than American was the oldest nation on earth, and was downright geriatric in its ways, because it had basically gotten there first. First to urbanize and industrialize to the degree it did.

Anyway, to make a long story short: I’d like to make at least a small contribution toward an artistic evolution, even revolution . . . on a personal as well as national scale. Cart before the horse, perhaps. Then, again, the cart sure has evolved.
Comment by Doug on 29 June 2008:

Another quick thought about evolving. I think humans tend to want to find rest in some things. Living is difficult, and we need to take a break now and then. Rest. Refresh and so on.

All of us pick certain stopping points, certain signs, symbols, names, places, things, ideas. Certain gateways we feel comfortable stopping in front of . . . We don’t go through them. We won’t.

To evolve, we probably need to reduce the number of those gateways, go through more of them, more often. Have fewer sacred cows and comfort zones. Question more stuff. Seek rest in different ways. Perhaps between gateways, on our way through the next one and the next one.

There’s a great parable within Kafka’s novel The Trial, called Before the Law. Really encapsulates the above. Though the petitioner can never really rest. His anxiety levels are probably off the charts. Sometimes going through the gateway is actually restful, indirectly, at least. Ironic.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 1 July 2008:

@ Doug - Profound stuff my friend, but I’d expect nothing less ;-) I do know all about the worrying about worrying cycle and I do believe it can be harmful and certainly restrict growth, but for gods sake don’t worry about THAT. Resolve to break the habit bit by bit. I have read The Trial many years ago although I have to confess to not being able to remember that much. Now I’m worrying my memory is going!
Comment by Doug on 2 July 2008:

Tim,

The Trial is worth a reread. And, if you read it years ago, better translations have appeared since then. A brilliant work of art, all the moreso when we remember Kafka didn’t even finish it. Probably would have tightened it up a bit, expanded on a few things here and there. He was obsessed about writing the perfect work. A curse and a gift. It kept him on the move, searching, reinventing, rewriting, refining . . . but made it difficult for him to actually finish things. I’m sure he worried a lot about that, too.

I’ve hit a bit of a writer’s block today. I can write about trivial things. Could add something quick and breezy to my blog if I chose to. But I don’t want to. I want it to be deathless prose!!

:>)

Want to do a little bit on Henri Michaux, one of my favorite poets. He was a great painter and aphorist as well. A true genius. Want my writing to live up to the subject at hand, which may be the biggest problem of all for me now. When the subject deserves great care, time, patience, thoughtfulness . . . the obstacles increase.

Oh, well. Must push through that gateway of sorts. Perhaps after a good night sleep, a new sunrise, and a bagel?

Take care, Tim . . .