Stress Is A Myth 2 | The Discomfort Zone

Stress Is A Myth - Part 2

Posted on 30 May 2008

Being a life coach I probably hear the word stress more often than most people. Having said that, I’m sure even the most hearing impaired, half-wit troglodyte comes across it several times per day in either words or actions. People get stressed by work, stressed by the kids, stressed by their boss, stressed by their spouse and stressed by reading blogs about stress. It’s pandemic and shows absolutely no sign of abating any time soon.

If you really wanted to freak yourself out, and let’s face it, who doesn’t? You could replace the word stress with scared or fearful. I know, I know, YOU’RE not in a perpetual state of fear, but look at those other people, if you think carefully about it, they obviously are.

I’m stressed by work really could translate into I’m fearful of losing my job, and not being able to provide for myself and/or my family. I’m stressed about having to make a speech in all likelihood means I’m scared I’ll mess up and people will laugh at me. Even something as innocuous as I’m stressed by the next door neighbor playing loud music, probably means something like I’m petrified that I wont sleep well and then I’ll be irritable at work and go on an axe-wielding rampage again and butcher half the accounting department.

I’m not sure how useful it is to know this other than I suspect most people will be far less inclined to admit fear than they are to admit being stressed. Some people wear stress like a badge of pride, almost as though it’s some sign of social success and they feel the need to tell everybody and anybody how uptight they are about things. After all, if you are earning a 6 figure salary then you have to be stressed senseless, because that’s what they pay you for, right? Not in my world it isn’t.

Next time you’re ready to announce to the world you’re stressed senseless, try replacing the phrase with I’m scared s***less and see how it changes your experience. See if living in a permanent state of fear is as acceptable to you as feeling stressed all the time. If it isn’t, then maybe it’s about time to do something about it rather than buying into the myth that like piles, chronic stress is just something that we have to learn to live with.

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7 Comments So Far.

Comment by Barbara Swafford on 30 May 2008:

Hi Tim,

You’re onto something here. The word “stress” has become a “catch all” type of word. By saying “I’m stressed” we may be minimizing what we’re truly feeling, and hence not dealing with it. Hmmmm. That makes a lot of sense.

Great lesson in life. I’m going to start being more aware when I use the word “stressed”.
Comment by Chase March on 31 May 2008:

Great concept! I think most people believe that they need to live with stress. Like it’s the normal way of things these days. Thanks for showing us it shouldn’t be. I really like your anaology.
Comment by Dr. Nicole Sundene on 2 June 2008:

Honestly, I have found that I am so much more efficient and effective when I change out of stress mode and in to a state of zen about what I am doing. In the grand scheme of things not much that ANY of us do is worth worrying about.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 3 June 2008:

@ Barbara - If we can all just recognise when we’re using the word, that simple observation on it’s own will be a help.

@ Chase - Thanks for the comment

@ Doc NS - Absolutely! If you have any spare zen knocking about can you let me have some please?
Comment by Laurie on 3 June 2008:

OK, I am scared s***less!
Comment by Metroknow on 8 June 2008:

Count me in with Laurie’s crowd ;)

I am really going to think about this - because my badge has been polished and pinned to my forehead for a few months now. But when you put it in terms of fear, it certainly changes the “feel” of it. I love Dr. Nicole’s comment above - believe it or not, I *instantly* feel a bit of relief just thinking about that sentence. It is so true.

Thanks for the post - I found you through ZenHabits, and I’m really glad I did!
Comment by Tim Brownson on 8 June 2008:

@ Metroknow - LOL, take that badge down now! Yep I agree too without what Doc said too. Thanks for dropping by.