NLP That!

We were about to take off from Tampa airport en route to Denver. As I settled into my seat and fished around for my Ipod I glanced over the aisle and noticed that the women in the center of the 3 people sat on the opposite side of the plane was not looking well, not well at all. In fact she looked a bit like Casper after he’d been for a swim in a whitewash factory and her eyes looked like a goldfish’s might if you rolled it up thinking it was a tube of almost empty toothpaste.

As the plane started to pick up speed the women closed her eyes and pushed herself back in her seat in a manner reminiscent of a 1950’s ‘B’ movie star who had just been told by his director he had to make the audience think he was going warp factor 10. The guy sat on her right was squeezing her hand for comfort but that was proving about as useful as a telling a firing squad victim to put a hat on because it’s a bit chilly out. As the plane left the tarmac and started to climb the women suddenly started to sob. This wasn’t the kind of sob you hear from somebody that had just found their dead goldfish rolled up in the bathroom, this was more of a wailing banshee impersonation of biblical proportions. We were literally on the back rows of the plane and the pilot could have been having a nap with his headphones on and he’d have still heard her.

She was still crying 30 minutes later so I decided I’d try and help out. I thought a pillow placed over her head for about 2 minutes would do the job, but as her boyfriend was about 6’ 4” and had the kind of body art you see on people waving goodbye to San Quentin, I thought I’d offer something a little more constructive. I never mention NLP at times like this because I then spend about an hour trying to explain what it is, so I told her boyfriend that I was a hypnotherapist and I may be able to help. She was willing to try anything probably even the pillow on the head, so she swapped seats with my wife and we began to chat.

Most people that have fears exacerbate them with the language that they use and the pictures they form in their heads. Ask anybody that has a fear of bridges to describe their problem and I can almost guarantee you they will say they hate driving over bridges. Well don’t drive over them then, drive on them, is my usual response. It’s only a subtle change, but it alters the entire perspective. Nobody has a fear of flying, they have a fear of crashing and when dealing with people like this, that’s absolutely critical to understand.

I started of by spending about 15 minutes doing some relaxation exercises, but that was just for me because I was convinced her boyfriend was going to kill me if I screwed up. Then I used a process called submodalities which is a brilliant technique for helping people with fears. All it essentially involves is getting an understanding of how somebody codes information. In other words, when they are thinking of a negative situation, what are they seeing, hearing and feeling on the inside and how does it differ from a positive experience. You then map across the submodalities from the good to the bad. If you want to know about them in a bit more detail I have an eBook out next week explaining everything. If you e-mail me before midnight on Sunday 23rd I’ll send you a free copy. It is going to retail at $9.99, but I love my blog readers so much I’m happy to give you one, but don’t go telling your mates, I do have to eat you know.

Some people pick up on submodality changes immediately and fortunately this lady was one of them because by the time we had returned to her seat she was beaming like a very happy Cheshire cat that had just been given a chunk of vintage cheese and a carton of high fat heavy cream.

For those of you that have never flown into Denver airport it has to be said it’s an interesting experience. As you drop over the Rockies you hit an updraft that creates turbulence the like of which I have never experienced before and quite frankly, don’t ever want to again. As we started our decent the plane was banging like an outhouse door in a hurricane. Nobody spoke other than maybe a few people mumbling prayers and promising to go to Church on Sunday. All of a sudden there was a huge bang and then silence. A single solitary voice shouted out very loudly, “f*** me’ No, it wasn’t my insane friend from over the aisle but my wife! I looked at her and she instinctively put her hand over her mouth and then took it away and said “Did that come out very loudly” I would have liked to have taken a look down the aisle for confirmation, but was afraid I’d see 200 heads peering back at me. Instead I leaned forward and lodged my head against the seat in front of me hoping for this to be over. Instinctively I looked to my left and saw the previously hysterical women grinning back at me and giving me 2 thumbs up. “Jeez, she’s loving this” I thought.

Ten minutes later we were safely on the ground and not a moment too soon. My new found friend thanked me for my help and shot off to catch her connecting flight to Hawaii. I never heard from her again and I have often wondered whether she still grins her way through near death experiences.

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