It's My Party & I'll Laugh If I Want To

I had somebody tell me a couple of weeks ago that I didn’t take things seriously enough. It caused me to slowly stroke my chin, gaze at my naval for some time and then go and sat in a darkened room for 8 hours to conduct some serious soul searching, amongst other things.

After some deep reflection and a brief nap I came to a profoundly shocking realization. She was wrong and I was right! I had a strong urge to phone Eckert Tolle and tell him to come and help because my ego was running amok, but it wouldn’t let me, it insisted I tell the whole world that I was right. It had visions of me being caste in bronze and a 9’ statue being erected somewhere or other where they erect 9’ statues of great thinkers.

Then the diazepam kicked in and I calmed down a bit.

Last I heard everybody ends up dying whether they take what happens prior to that seriously or not. It’s a bummer of a script, but that’s just the way it is. I’m afraid we’re going to have to live and die with it because there aren’t too many options in between, unless being cryogenically frozen rocks your world that is.

From a coaching standpoint there is actually a good reason why I like to have fun other than it’s er…fun.

To change your behavior you have to change your state and there is no better state changer than laughter. I don’t care whether a client is laughing at my jokes, my accent or my attempt to look cool and trendy, as long as they’re enjoying the process, that’s good enough for me. That’s not to say you can’t change without laughing, of course you can. If I throw you out of a hot air balloon at 5,000 feet armed only with a large handkerchief, some string and a crate of fish you’re state would change quite quickly and it’s doubtful you’d be laughing at the rascal life coach.

There’s another bonus in a coaching context when it comes to laughing. Most people equate laughing to being happy and guess what that creates? Yes indeed, it’s a positive anchor. If you have no idea of what I’m talking about get to the back of the class this instant and stay there until you have read this post about creating anchors.

I have a choice then. I can be deep, dark and dismal or I can be cheerful, chatty and castrated. Well not really castrated, that doesn’t go at all I just wanted to keep the alliteration going and ran out of c’s. I always go for the latter, without the castration that is, because it works for me and it seems to work for my clients and that’s actually one of the things I do take seriously.

I’m giving an e-book away at the moment that looks at change in some depth. It’s written in the same style as this blog. Some people will find it amusing and some people will think I’m the winner of Village Idiot of the Year 2007 and favorite to repeat in ‘08. The fact is, it took me 2 weeks solid to put together and I didn’t do it for my benefit, I did it for yours. I was going to sell it, but I want to get it in front of as many people as possible and most people prefer not to pay cash if they don’t have to.

If you want to download it go here. If you’re shy, you can even enter a false name as long as your e-mail address is correct. I have had Walter Mitty, Dangermouse and Bob Bob Bobbin download to date so I doubt you can be any more ridiculous than that. If you’re name is Bob Bob Bobbin, I apologize unreservedly.

Now that I have your juices flowing for free stuff, do you fancy a free mountain bike too? My friend JEMi at the excellent In My Heels has such a beast to give away. All you have to do to be considered is go and leave her a reply to this post and in no time at all you can be flying down a mountain with the wind in your hair, the sun on your back and fear clawing at your throat. It seems like a no-brainer to me, but then again what do I know, I’m just the village idiot?

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12 Comments So Far.

Comment by Dr. Nicole Sundene on 7 May 2008:

I am proud of you my friend! It is tough to get negative feedback, but I have learned that you either:

1. Disagree with it and move on
2. Accept it to be true and choose to improve.

I like it when option one predominates, but occasionally option two helps us grow.

I had to laugh earlier because someone reviewed my site on stumble that “I am a snake oil salesman on the internet.”

First of all I am not selling anything, and second of all I have had two degrees and ten years of post-secondary education backing up my opinions, I am a licensed physician in the state of Washington with all the same priviliges that my MD colleagues enjoy here, so I had to just laugh at the negative commentare, because the person just didn’t get it.

Anyways, I do agree with you about the not taking life too seriously bit! I am guilty of that often and am trying to learn the difference between the things that are really important, and those that should just not be worried about.
Comment by Mags | Woo-Woo Wisdom on 7 May 2008:

How about cheerful, chatty and chipper (”marked by or being in sprightly good humor and health —Synonyms jaunty, peppy, pert.”)?!

Sonia Choquette (or more accurately, her mom, I think!) says “Life may be critical, but it is never serious!”

Tim, I love your sense of humour! And thank you for the book download!
Comment by Tom on 7 May 2008:

Tim, this is great stuff: as always, I enjoy reading your posts. Keep it up!
Comment by Tim Brownson on 7 May 2008:

@ Nicole - There are always some people with their own agenda. Smile and move on, you have no need to defend against crap like that, ever! You’re site is brilliant and I order everybody in the world to check it out.

@ Mags - I know what chipper is I”m a Brit although I’m not sure many of my readers would. I’m bigger in Germany and Netherlands than I am in the UK. Even my own family dont read me ;-)

@ Tom - Thanks a lot Tom and I love your rants and brilliant SEO work!
Comment by Anja on 7 May 2008:

That is dreadful! There are so few cheerful, funny, laughing, chipper individuals in this world. There are billions of miserable, winging, complaining people around.

Who would I want to be around I wonder!
Comment by Pentad on 7 May 2008:

This was…perfect. Don’t you hate it when you discover that you were right after the fact? Thanks for the laugh!
Comment by Karen Lynch-Live the Power on 7 May 2008:

I loved this post and I cannot agree with you more about the laughter thing….perhaps we should do something with you in bronze…statue…(okay, can’t go there!)

thanks for the laugh…now don’t go changing and start taking life too seriously, you hear!
Comment by Tim Brownson on 7 May 2008:

@Anja - I know it’s weird isn’t it, some people only seem to be happy when they’re miserable. Go figure.

@Pentad - secretly I love it, I am a meglomaniac in waiting ;-)

@Karen - I’ll not be changing, 30 years of being miserable was enough for one lifetime.
Comment by Robert Bob Bobbin on 8 May 2008:

Dangermouse had warned me about using a silly nick name like Bob Bob. After all the ridicule, I decided to switch to Robert… sounded more serious and important.
Comment by Erek Ostrowski on 8 May 2008:

Seriously! Life is far too serious for most people, most of the time! I think you’re on the right path with this one, Tim!

Thanks,
Erek
Comment by Tim Brownson on 8 May 2008:

@ Robert - LMAO, that’s funny! Glad to have you here.

@ Erek - Aint that the truth!
Comment by Kenneth King | Destiny Building on 10 May 2008:

Your style works well for you Tim, and I find you a breath of fresh air. Keep it up and keep us all laughing.