@ Mike – That’s it, it’s all about being aware and then practicing.

@ Jake – Agreed.

@ Jeanne – Hey cool idea! And feel free to judge. Did you say something about me looking like Brad Pitt?

@ Dave – Not sure I agree with the first part although not sure I totally disagree. I think ‘somebody’ has to judge in terms of a criminal trial. But enough innocent people have gone to jail to know that it’s not so cut and dry. And anyway, if we do judge, where do we draw the line?

Agree about bad-mouthing, it has little value. Having said that, I know I do it on occasions so I am now judging myself as a hypocrite!

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Then we have to know something about a person’s intent [Was it an accident or did he intend to push him? What was his motive? Did he have a motive?] So we have judge what was in his heart.

But believing that is ALL that is in that person’s heart – that we have summed up that person, that is a mistake.

But judging what is in someone’s heart because he has gray hair or is fat, that’s another matter.

And whether or not we judge in a prejudicial and unfounded way, and whether the act of judging messes us up, are separate questions from how we behave towards that person and how and whether we talk about that person.

I think that If we act out our prejudices we will mess ourselves up more – like night follows day.

Whereas if we look into ourselves and accept we have prejudices about some people or groups, but don’t let those prejudices swamp or interfere with the way we act – and if we act fairly, then we can rein in our prejudices and discover other people.

Which is not to say that one should ignore the 11th commandment (don’t be a fool) and jump in and treat everyone as brothers, because plainly there are a lot of people out there who do not behave with kindness and consideration.

But for those who do want to try to act with kindness and consideration, and the point of this comment, is that gossip and bad-mouthing are the most insidious and destructive acting out of prejudices.

They feed off themselves and create a culture of gossiping and bad-mouthing, one that is rife with ridicule and mockery, and they are the mirror of self-loathing.

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Bodhipaksa helps with the wishing others well meditation. Reading this does to.

I don’t want to transfer this to my boys. It is not becoming, healthy, or of high character. It’s a daily journey to be better at it. Funny thing is, now that I am conscious of it, I see more opportunities to practice being better at it.

@ Writer Dad – It is learned nature though, I don’t think we are born this way, do you?

@ Vincent – I don’t agree it’s like breathing, we don’t die if we don’t judge. In fact far from it. I get your gist though.

@ Mike – Is that judging other road users or just letting your thoughts drift to have a general judging session?

Judgment is a fine source of pain, no! I do it mostly in the car, but it creeps into other areas too. It would be so much more empowering to look at others for inspiration, or to practice empathy wouldn’t it.

I guess thats why it’s a journey! Thanks for the words. See you next week.