Do You Know Your Own Values?

I was talking via e-mail to Ali from The Office Diet who was kind enough to edit my new e-book ‘Know Yourself – Change Yourself’ the other day. She’d read the book, which I thought was a fantastic idea for an editor, and took issue with a point I made.

I suggested that there are no right or wrong values, just values that are right or wrong for you. Surely, she argued, things like murder are always wrong. I want to make that noise that Bruce Willis makes in Die Hard when he’s talking to Hans on the walkie-talkie now, but I don’t know how to type it, so I’ll just have to settle for; Wrong!

Firstly, murder isn’t really a value anyway because the value would be what somebody would be looking to achieve through committing the act of murder. For example, if I axed up my mother-in-law it could be for any number of reasons. I might think it fun (value). I might want her money (not a value because then I need to know what I want the money for to understand what the value is). Or I might want her to shut up talking so I can be in peace (value). Of course for those of you in doubt, I love my mother-in-law to bits and would never take an axe to her, I wouldn’t dare.

Secondly, there really aren’t any wrong values. You can only judge values based upon your own, and who is the judge that decides whether yours are right and somebody else’s are wrong? You of course, so how reasonable is that? You would be acting like judge, juror and executioner. I agree that society may also judge, but society is just a collection of people evaluating stuff based on their own values and what they believe to be correct.

I’m in danger of disappearing up my own rear end here by sounding all pseudo-metaphysical and abstract, but here’s the deal I’d like you to buy into if you’d be so kind. There’s no such thing as right and wrong or good and evil. You have opinions on what you believe to be right or wrong and that’s fine, but understand they are based on your beliefs and values and not any Law of Physics, Law of Nature or even Murphy’s Law for that matter. They are purely subjective. So why do I want you to buy into this concept? Because the moment you do is the moment you can release yourself from the grip of having to judge others, and the moment you cease to judge others is the moment you find peace with yourself.

Is it easy? Are you nuts? Of course it’s not easy, it requires a lifetime of devotions and dedication, it’s a ridiculously hard thing to perfect, but then again so are one-armed push-ups (well they are to me, although I have arms like Monty Burns so that could explain why) but that doesn’t stop people trying.

I don’t think murder is right and I also don’t think lots of others things are right such as stealing, harming others or not Stumbling my Blog, but that’s only my opinion based on my values, it doesn’t necessarily make it so.

I’ve recently written an e-book on Beliefs and Values called ‘Know Yourself – Change Yourself’ that goes into more detail on this subject. It contains THE best stuff I do with clients around Beliefs and Values as well as all the forms that I use to help a client understand themselves and make lasting change.  If you’re too tight, or too hard up to spring for your own life coach you can now coach yourself using a bit of NLP and some common sense advice! It is retailing at $9.99 (see ad box to right) but seeing as I love you so much and I think you’re wonderful for popping by here and listen to me chatter away to myself, I’m offering it to you for free. It doesn’t get much cheaper than that. Simply e-mail me at tim@adaringadventure.com before midnight Thursday 3rd April, mention the book in the title and I’ll send it out to you. Oh, and no, this isn’t an April Fools joke but I am restricting the offer to the first 3 billion people that e-mail and not one more.

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