Decisions, Decisions

Every day when you wake up you have decisions and choices to make. That is a human condition because it doesn’t mater who you are, where you are or what you do, you still have to make decisions. It may be something as simple as whether to get out of bed or what to have for dinner or it maybe more important issues like whether to leave a job or get married.

So bearing in mind that like death and taxes (and change) decisions are an integral part of our lives and we make hundreds every day, why would we avoid them and why would so many people believe they are so bad at making them? The answer to those two questions is, we don’t and we aren’t.

I would say that about half the life coaching clients I see think they have problems making decisions. The reality of it is that none of us ever have trouble making decisions, what we have, is trouble making good decisions and then sticking to them.

Imagine that you have been offered a new job and you cannot make your mind up on whether to accept. Each time you think about the two options you decide not to make a decision which in and of itself is a decision.

Decisions are always based around two things. The desire for pleasure and the fear of pain. Think about every decision you make and you can put it somewhere on that linear path between the two extremes. You cook a meal to either gain pleasure from eating the food or avoid the pain of hunger (or more likely a bit of both). The same goes for booking a vacation. It is somewhere along the scale of looking for pleasure of a week away from work or avoiding the pain of another week at the office.

So how is this knowledge helpful?

The vast majority of people will lean more towards one end of the spectrum than the other (a few will be more or less in the middle). That is, you will either be somebody that tends to do things to gain pleasure or to avoid pain. The driven sales person could be working towards the pleasure of earning a big bonus or away from the pain of being fired, the drug abuser could be somebody that is seeking the high for pleasure or trying to numb the pain of his or her unhappy life. It isn’t always obvious which way somebody else is inclined but we can usually decide which way WE lean.

By knowing what our prime motivation for decision-making is we are more likely to make an informed choice. I don’t expect for one minute that this piece of self-awareness in isolation will change your world but it may well explain some of the occasions where you have felt unable to commit. What if you are a towards pleasure person and you know that job offer will mean 12 months of zero bonuses as you establish yourself and no time off. Wouldn’t that make it difficult to decide even if the long-term possibilities are exciting?

If you can incorporate this knowledge with awareness of what your core values are you will be able to see what the driving forces are behind your decision-making and when you know that you can make changes more easily. 

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