Broth

If you have stopped by today on the look out for nuggets of information to help you develop yourself into the beautiful person that you want to be, you may want to keep moving. I don’t think it’s unfair to say that today’s post is a tad self-indulgent, has precious little to do with Life Coaching and isn’t for the squeamish. You have been warned, so read on at your peril!

Yesterday I had to have some root work done at my dentist. Not so bad you may be thinking, not pleasant admittedly, but nothing out of the ordinary. A-ha, that’s what you think! I’m talking about the actual root here, the thing that holds the tooth where it’s supposed to be, not the root canal. Root canal extractions are for sissies, I had the entire root extracted. Apparently it’s a procedure about as rare as a Democratic nominee graciously accepting defeat and unfortunately, about as financially and physically painful.

I knew things weren’t looking too good when my dentist prescribed Vicodin as I was leaving. I thought that was normally reserved for people with limbs hanging off, sharp metal objects wedged in their head or famous movie stars that needed a mid-week pick me up. I’d only had some dental work carried out, but he insisted with a big smile that I take the prescription. Needless to say, a few hours later I was on bended knees at the alter of the God that is Vicodin and thanking any Deity that was prepared to listen to my chemically induced ramblings.

I’ve had a few medical issues lately that I’m not going to bore you with other than to say two weeks ago I was told I needed an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. I wasn’t particularly impressed at the thought of going through both ‘oscopy’s’ simultaneously, but then after a quick reframe I thought, “What the hell, it’s a great opportunity to get checked over in the only areas of my body that haven’t been invaded by doctors lately”.

That is due to happen tomorrow and I am relatively chilled about it, although I suspect the Vicodin is helping somewhat. What I’m not chilled about though is the fact that I can’t eat for 24 hours. I’d have rather they told me I had to wear sandpaper underwear and go horseback riding on a three legged horse for 6 hours than that.

Actually I’m not being completely honest; I can eat Broth and Jello. The word broth to me suggested something that is nourishing, and filling whilst at the same time comforting and homely. Obviously I’ve never actually drunk a bowl of broth before, because if I had, I wouldn’t have been thinking that load of old nonsense

I opened my tin of broth that looked amazingly unlike the picture in this post and was ready with my trusty sieve to catch any solid food that I had to avoid. I started to pour but couldn’t actually see anything being caught by the sieve. I didn’t have my glasses on though and felt sure that there must be lots of meaty goodness being trapped there and the really good stuff was probably still at the bottom of the can. I finished pouring and looked at the sieve. Then I looked in the can, and then at the sieve again. Not only was there nothing in the sieve but also nothing left in the can and definitely nothing in the bowl. Is this what the world of broth has come to?

I went to get to my glasses to read the label because I was starting to think I’d opened the wrong can. I was shocked to read I hadn’t, that this indeed was ‘Beef Broth and I was about to sample what the label described as “A piping hot beverage”

I started to think about that description from an NLP standpoint. You may have read some posts when I have spoken about artfully vague language. Just in case you haven’t, it’s the clever use of words designed to encourage the recipient to attach their own suitable meaning to what has been said because there is no real literal meaning. Apparently Campbell’s wrote the book on artfully vague language

Piping hot it may well have been if I’d have heated up for long enough and it certainly was a beverage, but everything above and beyond that came out of my own over-active and unrealistic imagination.

As I scanned the label further I noticed some block capitals under directions that said:

DO NOT DILUTE

“What the hell am I going to dilute it with?” I thought. If I added water it would only bulk it up. This entire can went through a sieve and never even got the mesh wet. The phrase watery is about to disappear from the English language and be replaced by brothy.

I then looked at the ingredients and immediately wished I hadn’t. Apart from a generous serving of MSG there were all sorts of other things I had never heard of and none of them sounded good. I consoled myself with the fact that at least the ingredients only appeared to make up 1% of what I was about to eat. I can only conclude that the other 99% is water. If you know different, please don’t tell me, I really would rather stay in blissful ignorance.

I have another 18 hours of broth heaven to look forward to. I may well experiment with a chicken broth later and even go nuts and try some vegetable broth for supper. Whatever I decide to eat though I know I’ll always come back my first love of Beef Broth whenever I need a Piping Hot Beverage.

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6 Comments So Far.

1. 

   Comment by RJ on 15 May 2008:

   Good luck with your “oscopy’s” and don’t forget to smile for the cameras:)
2. 

   Comment by Dr. Nicole Sundene on 15 May 2008:

   Hooray! You are reading labels now!!!

   *DING* another life saved… ;)

   Hope you feel better soon! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
3. 

   Comment by Benny Greenberg on 17 May 2008:

   I am wondering just how much “sodium” is in that broth as well.

   Drop me a not - I will teach you how to make your own broth - something you can drink and enjoy - without all the crap in it!

   Benny
4. 

   Comment by Vered - MomGrind on 17 May 2008:

   I agree with Benny - consider making your own. Or buy organic - still lots of sodium but no MSG.

   Good luck. Mom was right: health is the most important thing. Please let us know how it went.
5. 

   Comment by Tim Brownson on 17 May 2008:

   Thanks everybody for the advice and good wishes.

   To be honest I’ll never be drinking broth for as long as I live. I think I have anchored the word to everything evil in the world!

   My ‘procedure’ didn’t go quite according to plan which is why I’ve been out of action since, but it was clear and I’m on the way back.

   Thanks again!

   Cheers
   Tim
6. 

   Comment by RJ on 19 May 2008:

   “To be honest I’ll never be drinking broth for as long as I live. I think I have anchored the word to everything evil in the world!”

   LOL…I feel the same way about brussel sprouts:)

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