A Life Coach’s Guide To Being Super Successful With The Opposite Sex

About 50% of the enquiries I receive through my website end up in a folder I have labeled ‘Non-Genuine’. This isn’t to suggest that the people are not genuine in themselves but that they are not really looking for a coach or more often than not, not wanting to pay for a coach.

The most common thing I get asked for from the ‘Non-Genuine’s is a request for information on how to become a coach but I also get regular enquiries as to whether I am looking to take on staff, open another office or in the case of an e-mail yesterday, whether I am looking to open an office in India! Well maybe some day but not just yet thanks.

Last week however, I had a feedback form that made me smile and certainly perked my interest even if I never expected it to go anywhere. I am going to type this out as I received it without the name:

>>Im 21 going on 22, and wanted to ask if you have any coaches that are very good with women.  That is really the area I would like to most improve.<<

At first I laughed and shook my head, ‘maybe this guy was another one of the people that ask me how they can use NLP to manipulate people’ I thought. Then on reflection I thought, ‘no, why the heck shouldn’t he want to improve his ‘luck’ with the ladies’. I know how clueless I was at that age and quite frankly any help would have been greatly appreciated.

So I called him up and left a message. Unfortunately, we never managed to talk as I kept missing him and although I got an e-mail after, he never called me back so I gave up. It would have been fun to find out exactly what he wanted to achieve, although I think I can make a good guess ;-)

So what was the advice I was going to give him?

It is about as basic as it gets in terms of human interaction.

Learn to actively listen.

Ask questions about the other person rather than telling them about you and be genuinely interested in their answers. The most charismatic people on the planet are fantastic listeners in the true sense of the word. Yes, they know about the power of confidence, body language (either consciously or at an innate level) and about mirroring and matching, but fundamentally they listen intently and people love this. Have you ever been in a conversation where you have talked 95% of the time to a new acquaintance and then you walked away thinking what a great person they were? Well, the fact is you probably know nothing about them other than they were willing to take the time and trouble to listen with interest to you. The alternative scenario is when we get talked at for what seems like hours on end by somebody we barely know and walk away vowing to never get trapped by that person again.

So there you have it, it really is that simple. Learn to listen. Of course it may also help to look like Brad Pitt or Angeline Jolie but I can’t really help you with that.

By the way, I think I may have over done it with the title of this post so sorry if women or men are not beating a path to your door.

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