Who Cares What Tim Does?
The Offer: Before I get into todays post I have a quick offer to throw out there for anybody that has been toying with hiring a life coach called Tim.
I have been working with a face-to-face client recently that booked 6 sessions. To cut a long story short we were done after 4. He has very kindly said he doesn’t want me to refund the money.
Therefore, I have a crazy mad dog offer that I want to throw out there. He paid $697 for 6 sessions, so that means there is $232 worth of credit. I’m happy to round that up to $250 and knock that off my normal 6 phone session fee of $597 to make it $347.
This place had now been filled. I did have 3 people contact me about it and as such I am opening up this offer until end of play on this Thursday 29th.
I actually got sent the following post almost 2 weeks ago, but it came just as I got sucked into the whole book review thing. It struck me as a incredibly brave and honest post and also reminded me of how I would probably have reacted 10 years ago. If you find yourself wrapped up in cost versus worth or you’re constantly searching for vindication for your beliefs (which most of us are to a greater or lesser extent), I think it will resonate with you.
Who Cares What Tim Does?
I imagine on some level people are tired of hearing about Tim’s new book How to be Rich and Happy—no offense Tim. (Tims note: None taken, I’m sure you’re right!). Allow me to rephrase: there’s been a lot of conversation about the book, and anything gets old after repeated discussion.
The bad news: I’m still talking about it. The good news: it’s not a promotional post.
I was one of the bloggers who received an advanced copy of Tim’s ebook. Tim gave me free life coaching when I lost my job earlier this year. Rewind a bit—I found his blog when I was working a job I didn’t love. He was doing something I wanted to do by inspiring people with his honesty and insight. I was instantly jealous.
I know all those things, too! I thought. I could so easily do what he does.
Except I wasn’t doing it. And now that I am, I know it isn’t easy.
When Tim advertised for free life coaching I jumped at the opportunity. Maybe I could steal his mojo over the phone. I didn’t get his mojo—and I did horribly with NLP because I couldn’t slow down my thoughts—but I did learn a lot about my internal resistance. I also learned a lot about running a blog.
Fast forward to a month ago. Tim emailed asking me to read and review the book. This was it—my chance to pay him back for the five hours he spent helping me. Five frustrating hours, I imagine, thanks to the 150 personal development books in my library that convinced me I now know everything.
I was tripped up at the title. Rich and happy—really? Isn’t that a tad cliché? I tripped even harder at the price—nearly $100? Why don’t I just send you my unemployment check, I thought. Then I can get a copy for three friends, as well.
But I like Tim. I like him a lot. And I respect him. I believe he’s a good guy who has a lot to offer. So I swallowed my acerbic knee-jerk reaction and wrote to him, explaining my resistance.
I have the utmost respect for you, I explained, and I want to show my appreciation for your generosity and kindness, but I think the book is overpriced. Tim wrote back with some examples of other ebooks that cost the same or more; but ended by saying he supported my decision to not review the book if I didn’t feel comfortable.
That wasn’t good enough for me. I started googling overpriced ebooks to see if other people were talking about this crazy pricing epidemic. I asked everyone I know if they’d spend $100 on a book—physical or PDF. I asked my Twitter followers Would you spend $100 on a 200-page book?
When I saw Tim’s post about being questioned on Twitter, I immediately looked at his stream to find the conversation. The accuser had valid points, I thought; but he backed down after speaking with Tim on the phone, and tweeted about changing his mind.
What is wrong with everyone? I thought. Am I the only one who finds this outrageous?
So I emailed the guy. I told him I’m a fan of Tim’s, but I agreed with his argument against the pricing structure. What in the world went on in that phone conversation to contradict his earlier logic?
His answer isn’t entirely important. Chalk it up to Tim’s charisma and earnest desire to help people. What’s important is that I was on a mission. I was so convinced the pricing was wrong that it was all I could think about. It was an injustice. I needed to know if other people agreed with me. I even wanted to convince people they were wrong if they didn’t.
Keep in mind, I really like Tim. And I got the book for free. What exactly was I doing? If other people spend $97, and it’s not, in fact, worth the money, does it really hurt me that much?
This is not my attempt to say stop caring about things external. This is me questioning why, exactly, we attach to causes that aren’t really causes at all—and then seek out people to agree with us. Why do we let minor issues become much larger within our own heads?
This particular instance is just my soapbox issue of the moment; we all have our own. Not sure if you’ve had one in the recent past? Perhaps some more examples from my personal brand of crazy will jog your memory a bit:
The 24-pack of water was on sale for $3.50. They added on an extra $1.50 for recycling fees—money you get back when you recycle the bottles. Injustice! I asked to speak to the manager. When he refused to honor the advertised price, I called my mother to see if she agreed it was false advertising. (Yet I willingly spend $25 on a pedicure).
Netgear customer service jerked me around for a day, putting me on hold, disconnecting me several times. I immediately wanted to write a strongly worded letter, and CC every Netgear customer in California. I called my sister, brother, and best friend to rant about how horrible Netgear is.
This guy cut me off on the highway, nearly causing an accident. I was stunned and enraged—I could have been seriously hurt. So I sped up, driving even more aggressively, all to catch him, make eye contact, and subtly communicate: “You’re a bastard. I know it. The other drivers know it. Take that!”
Stuff happens—that’s life. You don’t agree with it—noted. Why do we let things that bother us bother us for longer than necessary? Why do we let upsets too petty to warrant mental real estate fill entire brain blocks with their drama?
I don’t have answers here. This isn’t an “I know it all” post. As you may have ascertained from above, I don’t know nearly as much as I think I do.
I do, know, however, asking and listening is one of the wisest things you can do.
Lori Deschene runs a blog about realistic positive thinking at SeeingGood.com. You can follow her on twitter @lori_deschene or @GoodMoodBlogger.
You can also read Lori’s review of How To Be Rich and Happy here and join our Facebook Fan Page thingymabob here.
And finally my good friends Charlie Gilkey and Johnny B Truant have started up a Jam Session thingy designed to help you succeed with your business. I’m going to be their first guest and you can check it out here.
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Comment by Dan Waldron on 26 October 2009:
I’ve been reading along for a while now. I just wanted to drop you a comment to say keep up the good work.
Comment by Oscar – freestyle mind on 26 October 2009:
It’s good to read this post here. Also good luck for those who will take the life coaching.
Comment by Lori on 26 October 2009:
Hi there,
Thanks for running my post, Tim. And thank you Dan and Oscar for reading. Good luck to all in nabbing those free life coaching sessions!
Lori
Comment by Ali Hale on 26 October 2009:
Thanks for the post, Lori! I had some similar thoughts to you (though perhaps not quite so strongly) about the price, and when I reviewed the book I made my mixed feelings on this clear. I was really glad to see Tim & John make the decision to lower the price.
Whoever snaps up Tim’s coaching offer (if someone hasn’t done so already!) — have a fab time!
Comment by Lori on 26 October 2009:
Hi Ali~
I definitely had a strong reaction; and I’ve told Tim it has little to do with him and more to do with me. While I do believe $97 is a lot for an e-book, the experience taught me that I have a tendency to attach to “issues” and then obsess over them. It’s something I’m working on.
I imagine other people do this with other things. But perhaps it is just me!
Lori
Trackback by uberVU – social comments on 26 October 2009:
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by fabeku: RT @TimBrownson: Very honest guest post by @lori_deschene and a crazy life coaching offer for one person only http://snipurl.com/sscur...
Pingback by Life Coach – My Life Coached? What’s the Point? by Ed McDonough on 26 October 2009:
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Comment by Tracy on 27 October 2009:
Hi Lori, I definitely don’t think you’re the only one. You know what’s helped me get over it a bit? There’s a person on my twitter/facebook stream that makes a huge issue out of every.single.thing. Her big mac doesn’t have enough special sauce and next thing you know there are five tweets in ten minutes with #mcdonaldsarestingybastids. I like her, but damn do I not want to be her!
All the same, I think it’s a natural inclination. One of the easiest ways to initially bond with people is over some shared outrage. I bet if I told you one of the 3 or 4 tales of woe is Tracy that I’ve got going on right now, you could relate to at least one and we’d have a jolly time talking about all the insidious ways this thing is oh so wrong.
Comment by Tim Brownson on 27 October 2009:
Thanks a lot Lori for a wonderful, honest and courageous post.
And NO! it’s not just you because I can be like that with things too. So there’s at least 2 of us.
Comment by Lori on 27 October 2009:
Tracy~ I think you bring up a great point. Complaining about things does seem like a bonding experience–probably even more for women than men.
Sometimes it feels like second-nature to make a list of things I think are right and wrong, good and bad, positive and negative, and the fight for the former in those groups. In some small way it makes me feel in control. Like I know how things should be, and I’m helping make them that way.
Thanks for offering your feedback =)
Tim~ Thank you for posting it! It’s always a little scary to acknowledge doing something that seems less than admirable. I’d like to think honesty helps people get honest with themselves, even if they have different issues. That’s the hope, anyways!
Comment by Derek – LoveBlug on 30 October 2009:
Why do I get so consumed by the things that press my proverbial buttons?
Perhaps it is because of the unconscious inner-gnawing I experience on a daily basis.
Perhaps I see them as threats to my entire vision of the way the world should be.
Or, perhaps I simply like to complain. Who knows! But when I find a juicy complaint that seems half-justified, I go to town. However, rarely is something ever produced, aside from an unproductive sort of frustration and some elevated blood pressure.
Ever notice how these hot-buttons tend to change over time? For example, I remember how the question “How are you doing?” @ the grocery store checkout counter always bothered me (because if I really told them how I was doing with any more elaboration than “Good”, they would probably look at me like a deer in headlights). Now it doesn’t bother me in the slightest, and I even laugh at myself for ever having a problem with it in the first place.