I’ve done a lot of research on this subject.

Defining a habit is a gray area because I think there are varying degrees of habits. These degrees lie somewhere between: Automatic with little or no thought prior to the action taken and automatic thought but not automatic action.

Since everyone is different, their habit formation can be different as well. There are basics that most if not all people do to form habits however.

Motivation plays a key role. In fact, I think motivation is the key to just about everything we do. (Sorry Mr. Mead)

This topic is too broad to really cover properly in this type of medium. Its an excellent post Tim however and I think you bring up some important info.

The trick, of course, is to have as many habits as possible that keep you going straight down the road when you’re not deliberately steering, and as few habits as possible that require you to grab the wheel in order to keep from going off the road or colliding with your own best interests.

Unfortunately, we don’t choose much of what gets “habitized.” As a result, most of us end up with our share of unhelpful habits. We’re like a car in need of an alignment. We have to correct too much – or suffer too much – for the things we automatically do when we’re not actively paying attention.

When it comes to changing habits, I’m convinced that attention is a far more important factor than time is. The better you can keep your attention focused on the change you want to make, the quicker you’ll get the job done. Staying focused – keeping the lights on – not only allows you to consistently do things in the new desired way, by preventing the old habits from having their way, it helps extinguish them. Attention is deliberate habitizing’s greatest ally.

More than 20 years ago, I actually invented a simple pager-like electronic device called a MotivAider (http://habitchange.com) that’s designed to enable its user to stay focused on changing a habit. MotivAider users of all ages continue to report success in changing their habits quickly.

You hit on a good point as to why I am always qualifying what I say and that is because I coach.

I have people saying to me “but that didn’t work for me and I read it in a book” and “my life is shit because I saw the Secret and it must all be my fault’ or ‘Blogger X says thi sis what I should do’ I have had all those and variations of those many times.

Consequently I feel I have a duty of care to say to people regularly that this may not work for you when I am writing. On a face-to-face level it’s different, I can be more blunt and use my experience to read the individual

You’re right I obviously have no idea what your point is, because it seems to be all over the place. Maybe that’s me not having the nous to understand what you’re saying and maybe if we were sat down having a drink it would be like “A-ha, ok I get what you mean now.”

If you think I am in a pissing match when all I’m trying to do is understand, then maybe I haven’t explained myself correctly. Or maybe that’s what you’re expecting to see because most bloggers seem way more attached to their beliefs that I am to mine.

You should blog about it, that would be cool.

The examples you provide don’t prove anything yet you continue to use them as if they do and if other people are making categorical statements that they disprove. I think you are holding people to standards you yourself don’t maintain. You may not a agree, but that is my appraisal of the situation.

“He quit a few years later, yet until he died he could have the occasional cigarette or cigar once per month or so and never went back to smoking regularly.”

Sounds like he established a new pattern of behavior to me. Exactly my point. You used this single example as a counter-example when in fact it supports the opposite of you provided it for. You seem to imply I am arguing that any smoking from then on to eternity would reestablish an old habit that would override the new. Further more your continued use of smoking is so far off of the typical “habit” I don’t understand why you continue to use it.

This particular counter-example is so far off of anything I believe I can’t believe you used it. You are completely missing the statements I made about conscious control and in fact are completely misrepresenting what I believe a habit actually is. Habits are about automatic behavior, not about being controlled like you are a programmed robot without a conscious brain.

This is my point though. They way you provide these examples is why you come off as being in a “pissing match”. You wonder why Glenn reacted the way he did to your original comment? You say you aren’t into pissing matches, but the way you go about it makes it come off that way. You are putting a match to straw men.

I actually considered writing on this subject after Glen did. It fascinated me. I guess I should have because it would have given me an opportunity to state my opinion about the whole thing in a coherent post length way which is obviously not happening in these comments I am making.

I still love you man :-)))

Stephen – Rat Race Traps last blog post..Living Now – Part I