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Do You Fear Public Speaking?

MorticianI’ve posted on the thorny issue of fears a few times in the past, but never specifically about the fear of public speaking. That’s a bit remiss of me considering it’s permanently ensconced at the number one position when surveys regarding peoples fears are undertaken.

It’s more than a little weird when you think people are less scared of death than they are public speaking. Maybe if all the surveys had been conducted with groups of Lemmings and/or Trappist Monks that would be logical, but I’m presuming they weren’t, so it isn’t.

To the best of my knowledge nobody ever died from public speaking. I once witnessed a best man deliver a joke about the sexual prowess of the groom at a wedding that didn’t even allow alcohol, never mind jokes about fornication with badgers. I think he wished he’d died, and metaphorically I think he probably did, but alas he lived to make a fool of himself another day.

And therein lies the crux of the problem. Nobody actually has a fear of public speaking; they have a fear of making a fool of themselves and any repercussions that may stem from that.

It’s similar to people telling me they have a fear of flying. That’s bizarre because I have no problem with the flying bit as long as you don’t put the fat sweaty guy with the bladder problem in the window seat next to me. It’s the crashing that I’m not that keen on. Yet people insist on saying they’re scared of flying and sending completely the wrong message to their unconscious.

There is a lot of advice ‘out there’ designed to help you become a more confident speaker without the need for large quantities of alcohol and anti-anxiety meds, although they will probably do the trick too. Unfortunately some of it is not just ill advised, but can actually have the reverse effect depending upon the individual.

I’m going to try and cover as many of the bases as possible, but this post would be about 10,000+ words long if I went through every permutation and procedure I use with clients so bear with me and follow the links for more info.

Let’s take a look at the no-brainer stuff first because we don’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water. Some of the more traditional advice is useful if your fear is manageable and you’re not one of the 20 million Americans suffering from social anxiety disorder.

This advice is only intended to help you reduce anxiety; it won’t necessarily make you a better speaker. Having said that, top speakers seldom throw up on the front row, soil their underwear or pass out behind the lectern to the best of my knowledge.

The Obvious Stuff

Know Your Material

About 2 years ago I agreed to be interviewed on a TV news program being filmed here in Orlando. I had been supplied the questions up front and had scripted my answers.

The first run went poorly to say the least and I can assure you none of the film crew were nodding their heads admiringly at the loquacious, erudite British guy sweating like the dude in Midnight Express in front of them. Fortunately for me the interviewer fluffed her lines and we had to do a re-take.

It was at that stage I literally threw my cue cards on the floor and decided to ad lib the answers. I knew my material well enough not to need a script and trying to remember my answers was throwing me.

Unless there is a specific reason why you need to do so i.e. you’re reciting somebody else’s material, do not try and learn the entire speech verbatim.

Know your start and end and know the structure and then cut yourself some slack. If you’re trying to recite something word for word and you lose your flow you’re in trouble. It will be very difficult to recover your composure at that stage.

Watch The Great And The Good

It’s easy enough by visiting sites like YouTube or the excellent TED to see great speakers in action. If you want to join their ranks watch what they’re already doing and copy them. I don’t mean mimic accents or styles of delivery, just look for common themes and if they resonate with you, adopt them.

Get Experience

I have been a member of Toastmasters for two years and it’s doubtful there is a better, safer environment to learn to speak in public. Everybody is there to improve their speaking skills and to help each other. It is a very unintimidating atmosphere and newbie’s are given plenty of encouragement and valuable feedback.

The Not So Obvious Stuff

Think of any fear you have. It doesn’t have to be a fear of public speaking, it could be fear of snakes, flying or even a fear of being trapped in an elevator with Christian Bale and his lighting director.

How do you currently handle that fear? Do you avoid putting yourself in situations that may bring it to the fore? Do you rationalize and tell yourself you’re being silly because the chances your worst nightmares will come to fruition are miniscule?

If you’re like most people that is exactly what you do, but that is exactly what you shouldn’t do.

Most fears arise from the unconscious level and it’s almost impossible to rationalize away at a conscious level something that is buried much deeper. It’s a little like trying to get rid of yard full of weeds using a machete. Sure they may disappear temporarily but don’t turn your back for too long because they’ll be back with a vengeance.

If you are going to be successful with this it’s absolutely critical you go easy on yourself and don’t beat yourself up. There is a reason you’re nervous, and even if you don’t know what it is it’s still a good one. You will not beat your unconscious into submission by telling it how ridiculous it’s behaving. In fact you’ll just make it believe its fears are justified. “The lady doth protest too much” and all that.

In fact I want you to do the opposite. I want you to thank your unconscious mind for helping you and ask it kindly if it can think of any other ways to get the result it’s looking for. Weird? You betcha, but no more  weird than having such an irrational fear.

Anchoring

I’m not going to go into any detail on this because you can read what anchoring is here or see a video demo here. I will say though that if you do this properly it is one of the most successful ways of tapping into instant confidence and it’s used by many public speakers. The fact is you already have an anchor that links public speaking with fear. So you may as well set one that links it to confidence instead, right?

Say Ahh

I’ve shamelessly lifted this short section from my soon to be taken off the market ebook ‘Stress is for Suckers‘, so if you’ve read that you have my permission to move on to anchoring.

I’m not talking about the Ahh noise you make when your doctor asks you to stick your tongue out because you have a nasty rash in your throat.

This is the Ahh we make when we let out a huge sigh on contentment. Do it five or six few times either out loud if you don’t mind getting strange looks from work colleges, or internally if you’d prefer to retain a modicum of dignity.

This action sends a signal to the unconscious that all is well in your world and you’ll immediately feel better. It may sound ridiculous, but it works, so what are you waiting for.

Visualization

The unusual thing about the unconscious mind is that it has a really hard job determining reality from fantasy. It is that ability that allows us to relive events in our mind as though they are happening again. This can be a good thing when recalling pleasurable events, but it can also be a bad thing when recalling traumatic events

Whenever we visualize an event such as giving a presentation or speech, (and by visualize I mean involving all our senses) we’re creating an internal reality that allows our brain to believe it is doing something, even if it isn’t.

As we continually do this over and over again in our minds eye it eventually becomes routine and then when we need to do it in the real world, the brain says “ok I know how to do this successfully because I’ve done it before, so let’s do it” and you perform as you had imagined and desired

Some people think visualization is woo-woo and they tend to be the same people that think success and hitting goals is woo-woo too. It’s free, it’s easy and it works, what more do you need to know?

Control Your Breathing

Did you know it’s impossible to be anxious or panic and stay in control of your breath? Who’d have thunk it, eh?

The majority of people breathe too shallowly, too quickly and from the upper chest rather than from the diaphragm. So without even being aware of what they’re doing they’re practicing how to become anxious.

If you wanted to learn to ski, would you wait for a blizzard before hopping on the nearest icy black run to test out your nerve and prowess? It’s doubtful unless you possess a strong death wish or you’re totally insane. You’re far more likely to try out the gentle nursery slopes on a clear day with plenty of lovely soft snow to fall on should the occasion arise first.

The same goes for working with your breathing. There is zero value knowing the importance of this if you wait until 250 people are pointing at you and rolling around laughing as you explain for the third time you’re really nervous and have never used PowerPoint before.  At that stage the last thing on your mind will be controlling your breath because you’re too far into the fight or flight response to even know what your own name is.

You need to practice when things are going well so you can get used to the feeling. If you have had years of breathing high up in your chest it will feel weird, but stick with it and it will soon become normal. The added bonus is it’s healthier for you too.

The Waste Of Time Stuff

Imagine The Audience Is Naked

I’m informed this method has worked for some people although I have no idea why. Other than maybe because they believed it would because the mind is a powerful thing.

If you’re giving a speech on the Economy Stimulus Package the last thing you need going on is your own stimulus package as you gaze on the gorgeous naked person on the front row. It can be equally disconcerting focusing on the 350lb guy sans clothes just as he decides to scratch his sweaty crotch. Leave the audience with their clothes on, at least while you’re speaking to them.

Tell The Audience You’re Nervous

There is a natural inclination for many people to tell others when they’re struggling in an attempt to garner some sympathy and/or help. This can be a good thing and not something I would normally discourage. Unless that is you’re the President, a neurosurgeon or in this case, giving a speech.

There is something in speaking called the power of ten and it’s this: The audience sees about 10% of what you’re feeling. Therefore, most of the time they don’t even notice (or quite frankly care) you’re nervous. By bringing their attention to it you’ll make some people feel uncomfortable and the rest will be distracted from your speech because they’re wondering when you’re likely to pass out.

Do A Fire Walk

I could have put do a bungee jump, a sky dive or hurl yourself into the crocodile enclosure at your nearest zoo, it’s all much the same. The rush of adrenaline and self-assurance you’d get from surviving such an event would probably allow you to breeze through a speech with the confidence of a delusional American Idol contestant. However, the rush is short-lived and no conference organizer worth his salt is going to allow you to set fire to his carpet, jump off the balcony on to the stage or drag a live croc on a leash into a room full of corporate bigwigs.

Most accomplished public speakers get nervous before walking on stage. The point is not to eradicate nerves because they can be helpful, the point it to harness them. By following the above advice you can move yourself into that position.

If you know anybody that has issues with public speaking and/or presenting I’d be really grateful if you could forward them this post and hopefully they can come to realize that there are other options.

Coming Soon: How To Be Rich and Happy. A book that shows you how to be rich and happy!


25 comments to Do You Fear Public Speaking?

  • This isn’t necessarily a fear of mine, per se, but it is something I get nervous about. I wanted to do a vlog for a long time on illuminated mind, but kept putting it off because I was afraid I would totally bomb it. Well guess what? I probably bombed it. But I got a lot of valuable feedback from experienced speakers and now I know what I need to improve on. No more mystery, no more scary darkness. I think that’s what most people are afraid of- the unknown.

  • Tim,
    Thanks for the new tools. I have taken your advice and am joining Toastmasters this evening. I have put it off for several weeks just because of family events, but I am fired up a bit about it now.

    I know it may seem hard to believe after meeting me and hearing me blab that I have this fear. I seem to do very well in small groups, or on a public address system with a bulletproof door behind me, but I have 3 big issues personally with public speaking.

    1. I am too concerned with the feedback in body language and it distracts me.

    2. I ha ve a ha rd time ge tti ng the breathingundercontrol…. sometimes even just in important phone conversations.

    3. Im not particularly fond of my speaking voice. I always wanted that “Shadow Stevens” voice, and got stuck with Gilbert Gottfried… I do some great impersonations, so maybe I can develop that skill to create my new speaking voice?

    Thank you for the tools to make my efforts a little more “effortless”. I will let you know how it goes tonight!

  • Jay

    I personally can not even imagine public speaking at this point. I am a few steps below the evolutionary scale for public speaking, but I imagine these tips to be spot on. I know even using these tips in a simple interview (one on one) is helpful. Especially knowing your material. I know before an interview (Since I am extremely nervous) I go over every possible question that could be asked so my confidence is raised enough to make it through. Thanks Tim- I will come back to these when I take a few more baby steps up the scale.

    Jays last blog post..Life Lessons from a Japanese Tea Master

  • This seems to be a hot topic lately – I think it’s the 3rd post I read today. I joined Toastmasters 4 years ago and it has been a fantastic practice ground. Safe, motivating, encouraging – I recommend it to everyone I meet who is looking for consistent practice.

    I’d also like to add “be yourself” to the list. I find a lot of people become more nervous when acting as they think they should, rather than who they are.

  • You might have said this already (okay, it was a long post and I skimmed a little) but one way to get over your fear is just to do it. Little groups might be easier to face, like going to meetings (church maybe?) and speaking up.

    On the other hand, I’ve performed (and spoke) in public for years and years. If I don’t get at least a little nervous I’m probably not taking the task too seriously. A little nervous energy helps keep you . . . energized.

    Terry Heaths last blog post..Rampant Creativity and Capitalistic Tinkering

  • Hi Tim, interestingly enough despite my great fear of the telephone, public speaking is fairly easy for me. I suppose it’s because I did a lot of theater and speech in school. I’ve already made a fool of myself enough times to know I’ll survive just fine if it happens again.

    I did want to say this bit:

    Yet people insist on saying they’re scared of flying and sending completely the wrong message to their unconscious.

    Was really something I needed to hear today. Not about flying, but another fear that I have that needs to be expressed differently.

    Thanks! As always, you’re the bee’s knees!

  • If only I had of read this yesterday, I gave my first ever public speech (I joined a speaking club).

    I was trying to be very present, but just before I knew I was going to be called up my heart was thumping like crazy. The speech wasn’t too bad, it was only 2 minutes long (random topic) but I was slightly annoyed at myself that I couldn’t stay present and let nerves get to me.

    For some reason I have the feeling that I could be an awesome public speaker, my body just doesn’t seem to allow it.

    Glen Allsopps last blog post..The Most Inspiring Video You’ll Watch This Year

  • @ JM – I watched your vlog mate and it was fine. Not even as dark as you suggested ;-)

    @ Mike – Your voice is cool. You have to remember most people don’t like their own voice when it’s played back to them. I get people telling me I have a sexy accent! Yet when I was In England people would squirm at my northern rough-arsed way of speaking. I like it better here!

    Good luck at TM’s!

    @ Jay – You’ll move quickly on this because you’re committed and you know you can change. They are the 2 major components of successful change work.

    @ Stacey – Part of my reason for doing this post was to dispel some of the myths that I’d read recently. Some of the advice being bandied around is useless or just plain common sense. People that have severe fears needs a bit more than that. I agree Toastmasters is excellent.

    @ Terry – Not sure if you said it because I scanned your comment ;-) LMAO, kudos for you to being the first person ever to admit they scanned one of my posts when we all do it from time to time. Yeh, I did kinda cover that with saying ‘get experience’

    @ Tracy – My old man used to say the bees knees. I had no idea what he meant either, but thanks anyway!

    @ Glen – You’re body doesn’t allow it….yet. Get out of your own way and observe your feelings rather than fighting them and eventually it will.

  • Fun to read with much insight for us individuals that fear while giving a presentation that everybody is going to think “that guy sure looks like an idiot.” I think my obstacles are rooted pretty deep subconsciously and avoidance has always been my safety net. Absolutely fabulous reading! Time to subscribe…thanks!

    Marks last blog post..Flab Fighting Foods

  • Hey Tim,

    I also used to be a member of Toastmasters (though I’m not right now – too much other fun stuff to do).

    I think the biggest factor that helped me get over the fears of public speaking was POSITIVE FEEDBACK.

    Positive feedback lets you focus on the positive experiences you had while up there, so whenever you think about your speech, you remember the good bits. It also reinforces the right habits, so you actually BECOME better at public speaking!

    Vlad Dolezals last blog post..Breaking Your State

  • Great post! Great tips!

    In my recently published pre-teen novel, Ian, one of Santa’s helpers, has to undergo some management training. Of course it includes public speaking, which he dreads at first. But he likes the way the class is structured and soon also realizes that the other students share the same types of anxieties. He also learns how to “work the room” by helping his friend Elise with her administrative functions prior to the speech making. It makes him feel more like a host and really helps him to cope with his speaking anxiety.

    All the best!
    Eric Dana Hansen
    Author of “IAN, CEO, North Pole”
    http://www.ianceonorthpole.com

  • Tim,

    I’ve taught quite a few Train the Trainer courses and the common thread that new instructors have is a fear of public speaking.

    My thoughts on the matter:

    You do not look as goofy or nervous as you think you do. get off yourself, ok? Unless you call their attention to it, chances are few will notice. You look great.

    Fake it ’til you make it. You are at the front of the class, so you are GOD. You are the authority. Even if you don’t believe you are, acting that way will move you miles towards feeling better about the whole experience.

    I’ve never understood the whole “picture your audience naked” thing. I just don’t get that.

    Absolutely the only thing that will make you feel better about public speaking is getting out there and doing it at every opportunity.

    When I got hired at LAFD to be a paramedic, I was scared to death of heights. So I climbed a ladder every opportunity I got.

    I developed a fear of flying, so I became a pilot.

    It works.

    Cheers

    George

    Tumblemooses last blog post..Harriet Tubman keeps my writing going

  • @ Mark – Good to have you here bud! Avoidance is what most of us do and it never works unless we want to spend our entire lives in avoidance mode and that’s no fun.

    @ Vlad – I agree PF is very valuable and can help a lot of people in reducing nerves although anybody that has social anxiety will probably dismiss it out of hand.

    @ George – Man I like cut of your jib. I think I’m going to have you stuffed an mounted and then hung on the wall of my office. Then I can point to you and say to clients “Go and do what that guy did” If that’s ok with you of course.

  • @ Eric – LAMO – Nice advert for your own book!

  • Tim,

    I believe we had stuffed moose for Thanksgiving a while back – not recommended.

    As for mounting – send pic, please. I need a little dancin’ afore I’m kissed.

    But it’s all good, my friend. Anything that I can do to help, you know.

    Cheers!

    George

    Tumblemooses last blog post..Harriet Tubman keeps my writing going

  • Poke386

    You make your posts so funny and light-hearted that its impossible not to enjoy them. Excellent post.

  • Great article Tim, I do have to get more comfortable with public speaking as I still seem to get nervous. Especially on any topics that are quite personal or spiritual. Give some business topics though or leadership and I don’t really have any problem with it. Guess that comfort level and confidence just needs practice. Toastmasters sounds like a great avenue for that, so many people recommend it. Any other options for practice out there?

    Mike Kings last blog post..Mastering the Art of Procrastination

  • @ George – LOL, no I won’t be trying that out in a hurry! Thanks for the offer.

    @ Poke386 – Thanks for the kind words, much appreciated.

    @ Mike – There are usual local groups that have to fill speaking slots for free that are crying out for people. Maybe try meetup.com or things like Chamber of Commerce, Rotary International, BNI etc. Another option may be to simply do a post offering your services if you have local readers. Mind you I did that just over a year ago and got nothing!

  • c.koo

    Tim,

    I’m re-reading your article…

    …Plus Slade Roberson’s article on “The Art of Surrender.” <— love this article! It’s at http://sladeroberson.com/manifesting/the-art-of-surrender.html

    Ok, I think I can breathe now.

  • What a comprehensive guide – Great job! Although I have to say that alcohol and anti-anxiety meds will NOT make you a good speaker, and will certainly ENSURE you make a fool of yourself :-)

  • Sara

    Pretty cool post. I just came by your blog and wanted to say
    that I’ve really liked browsing your posts. Anyway
    I’ll be subscribing to your blog and I hope you write again soon!

  • Great points. I’ve found it helpful to envision people in their underwear. Just kidding. As you indicate, being comfortable while speaking in public is about mastery of the subject and putting aside one’s fears.

    A major fear is of looking stupid in front of people. Once we get rid of that we reduce the stakes and can relax a bit. Even very proficient speakers sometimes stumble so why should an inexperienced speaker be perfect. People are quite forgiving and if you don’t call attention to yourself you can make it through a speech.

    Practice is key. After that practice some more. Over time, confidence develops.

    Guy Farmers last blog post..Dream Big

  • Visualizing the outcome of speaking in public is an amazing tool to becoming confident. Since we act in accordance with our mental image. Changing the image of your self from being shy to confident in your mind, will allow you to conquer your fear.
    Understand, that fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.
    Make today a successful day. Visualize and practice.

  • This such a great piece! Thank you for posting. It just goes to show you that if worry endlessly about achieving perfection, then you are doing yourself a disservice. If you see celebrity speakers or business speakers on a regular basis, you start to realize that they all share many of the traits above. Good work. Keep it up!

    Sanchez

    http://www.caaspeakers.com

  • You make your posts so funny and light-hearted that its impossible not to enjoy them. Excellent post.